My 27 month old ds is so aggressive and can be so mean to other children. We will be out somewhere and he will call other kids dumb or stupid and hit them for no reason. I know this stems from the fact that his older sis (7.5 years old) is always bullying him. She regularly calls him "dumb baby" or "stupid baby" and hits or pinches him. Ofcourse, she always gets in trouble for this but it persists. It doesn't help that he is at that stage where he thinks everything is his. He regularly destroys her stuff or will jump on her and hit her. So then she hits him back (but harder). I feel like my little boy is so full of rage that he has to go and take it out on other kids. I try to talk to dd and explain to her that when she hits him back, she is only teaching him that hitting is the way to solve problems but she's 7 so it is a little hard for her to grasp. All she knows is that when he makes her mad, the best way to feel better is to hit him.
This aggressiveness is so embarrassing. Honestly, I have never seen a toddler like ds who is so quick to get upset and hit (and he hits hard). He did it yesterday to a 5 year old boy at the park. I ran over and said, "no we don't hit others". I asked the little boy if he was o.k and made ds sit on the bench for awhile before he could go back and play. Today was even worse. The kids were getting fussy at home so I took them to a Mcdonalds w/ a play area for a bit. We were there for about 30 min. and he seemed to be doing fine. I looked down to check something on my phone and then heard crying. He had hit a little girl (maybe 1.5) . Well, I'm really not proud of this but I ended up getting into a huge argument w/ this woman. I should have just apolgized and left but she said some things that I felt were insulting to me and ds but looking back I would have been pissed too if it was my dd that had just gotten hit in the face.
Honestly, I need to put an end to this behavior but I just don't know what to do. What are some strategies to help minimize a toddler's aggression? How do I get dd to stop hitting him when he is also hitting her/destroying her things?