How do I ensure DD is taken care of?

[zerby]

We are going to have a trial separation, that even though I want to mend things, I think will become a permanent thing. We were never married, and my state doesn't recognise common law. Should I get a lawyer to ensure DD is taken care of? Right now I know that a lawyer would just inflame things, but she is my number one priority. I want to ensure that she has daddy time, and that I have financial support to take care of her. I do have a paternity declaration on file that he signed if that matters. Thanks for the info!

[karen ann]

I would definitely get a consultation with a lawyer ASAP. If you don't hvae physical custody *on paper*, there is nothing to stop her father from taking your DD and not bringing her back, making YOU fight for custody and even visitation. (Not trying to scare you but it's something that can really happen. When I filed for divorce, my lawyer advised me to not let DS leave my house with his father until AFTER we went to court the 1st time and had an official temporary order in place -- I was to let my now-ex in the house to visit DS, but not to allow ex to leave with DS or I might lose him.)

Just because you file for temporary orders doesn't mean you have to follow through to something permanent.

Good luck.
Karen Ann (who needs spelling lessons obviously)

[comet]

great point about the temporary orders, karen ann.

I wish I'd gotten a temporary order immediatley . So easier to do it right away, rather than, say six months from now if problems develop.

Make sure that you know the laws in your state. A lawyer can help you there, obviously, but you still need to go and read those statues that apply to you, esp in regards to custody.

Also - what do you mean "taken care of". Do you just mean physical safety? And making sure that he won't take her away? Or do you mean child support?

[zerby]

Comet - I mean all of those things. I want to have some parameters on visitation, and help with daycare. I want her to have a dad, not just a chromasomal donor.

[mammastar]

Can you and her dad reach an agreement and then file it with the courts? I don't know about where you are, but here that gives it the same effect as a court order, except that the two of you are able to tailor it to your circumstances.

[lilmiss'mama]

Hi Zerby
I am in Omaha too. I am a single mama, but without custody issues. So, I don't know much about the law. However, if you want to get together sometime PM me. We could take the kids the park if you want. How old is your dd?