Writing a Birth Story...years later

[HappyHappyMommy]

Hi Mamas,

I had planned to write my DD's birth story shortly after her birth and here we are a few years later. I'd still like to write her birth story and I'm thinking I'd like to write two versions: one for us now (that I'd like to share with her when she's older) and one for her now. However, I'm stuck on how to get started. Has anyone else written a birth story when your child was not a baby?

[delightedbutterfly]

I don't think there is much to really do but just get started. I found that when I wrote mine I went back and added lots after letting the inital thoughts flow out. I know I wrote my youngest's birth story but I'm not sure I have written my oldest's as it's still quite painful to revisit. And I too feel I need two stories. The one that will be healing to write it all down and the second more public/kid friendly one that isn't so painful.

Also a friend had a blog challenge where she wanted everyone to write their birth stories in 100 words or less and while I was a bit too late to actually submit either of them to her, both turned out AMAZING and I really enjoyed that project. I think I still have those if you'd like me to share ;) I really think everyone should try and write a birth story like that!

[StudyingStones]

I only just wrote mine out a few months ago, and DS is 5 now.  I think time and space away from the event helped me to process better, and to understand what actually happened. 

I'd say it's never too late!

[HappyHappyMommy]

Thanks for the replies! Any other tips and stories are most welcome and would be appreciated.

Originally Posted by delightedbutterfly 

I don't think there is much to really do but just get started. I found that when I wrote mine I went back and added lots after letting the inital thoughts flow out. I know I wrote my youngest's birth story but I'm not sure I have written my oldest's as it's still quite painful to revisit. And I too feel I need two stories. The one that will be healing to write it all down and the second more public/kid friendly one that isn't so painful.

Also a friend had a blog challenge where she wanted everyone to write their birth stories in 100 words or less and while I was a bit too late to actually submit either of them to her, both turned out AMAZING and I really enjoyed that project. I think I still have those if you'd like me to share ;) I really think everyone should try and write a birth story like that!

I really like the idea of birth stories in 100 words or less; I'm going to try that. if you'd be willing to share, that would be AWESOME.

on your painful experience with your oldest's birth. Your note about two stories (a healing one and more public one) really got me thinking. I think part of what has had me stuck was that the birth wasn't like I expected and I feel like that's such a part of my story and reading what you wrote made me realize that i just have to give myself permission to write that part of the story (and I can decide later if that's a version just for me or for others). Thank you.

And you're right...I just need to get started. So, my goal is to write something this weekend. I'll report back on this thread about how I do.

Originally Posted by StudyingStones 

I only just wrote mine out a few months ago, and DS is 5 now.  I think time and space away from the event helped me to process better, and to understand what actually happened. 

I'd say it's never too late!

Thank you StudyingStones! I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one who wrote or is writing the story after time. And your encouragement is helping to get me going on doing this.

[delightedbutterfly]

I often times think that we need the healing birth story for ourselves and the ones that we know will listen, but I've also realized that not everyone wants or needs to hear all of it. But I do think writing the whole story can be helpful to ourselves :)

Ok this is my first DD's painful 100 words or less story...

Forced to comply

lines attached

pain is unmanageable while the machines don't work.

Harmful, tongue lashing nurses,

morphine turns me drunk,

hot showers my only torture relief.

They take my support, my voice

away and lock him in a broom closet.

He needs sleep they tell me, 

I am in hell I tell them.

Multiple strange hands inside me, 

attaching different machines, not even born yet, 

already a medical robot.

More forced drugs, wicked witches and finally, 

they bring my voice back.

Two hours of screaming terror later

relief, joy, sudden calm, hungry, exhausted,

our beautiful girl.

And my second DD's healing home water birth in 100 words or less...

Pillow mouth to mouth

regurgitating my comfort Kraft Dinner.

Too hot for me, too cold they say,

only a tiny crack in the window allowed.

Neighbors awake with my moans.

8cm dilated, shoved into warm buoyant relief.

Sudden quiet comfort builds volcanic pressure.

My body pushes without me,

POP goes the underwater geyser.

Soon the pain will stop I just need it to 

hurt more first.

They laugh at me and agree.

Suddenly another scream enters the room, 

silence and tears. She's here!

[HappyHappyMommy]

delightedbutterfly, thank you for sharing your 100-word stories. Your writing is eloquent and beautiful. I'm sorry for the painful birth of your first daughter and happy for you for the healing birth of your second DD.

Originally Posted by delightedbutterfly 

I often times think that we need the healing birth story for ourselves and the ones that we know will listen, but I've also realized that not everyone wants or needs to hear all of it. But I do think writing the whole story can be helpful to ourselves :)

Thank you. It helps to hear that. Yesterday, I started writing the story. I feel really stuck at first because I just kept wanting to start with "It wasn't what I expected." So I finally I just started with what I expected and it helped to get that out.

I'll keep you all posted on how the writing is going. And continue to welcome tips, suggestions, or encouragement!