August 2012 Rockstar Mamas

[MarineWife]

Welcome to the Rockstar Mamas thread! Our wonderful group of mamas started following each other in the Charting to Avoid thread over in fertility. Eventually we created "The Whatever Ladies!", a safe place for those of us who were not trying to prevent pregnancy, though not actively trying to conceive either. Spread out over a year, we all got pregnant and had our current babes- several whom are over a year old now!

We made the decision to switch to Rockstar Mamas, after a conversation about how each and every one of us was a Rockstar in some way, for living and thriving through the parenting challenges thrown our way every day. Feel free to join us in our thread, but be warned, the conversation moves fast!

Not really rules but something to consider if you join:

1. Need to be chatty

2. Know that we are all vastly different from one another but we've become friends so we respect those differences. We are vaxers and nonvaxers; homeschoolers, unschoolers, public schoolers; run the gamut from vegan to paleo; some of us want more kids, some don't, and some aren't sure...but we all manage to really get along and come together on things we DO agree on.

3. Aren't afraid to ask each other the hard questions or point out the obvious when/if we want advice!

Member List:

lyeterae ~ Baby boy born February 2011
annie ~ Baby girl born April 7, 2011
Barefootscientist ~ Baby boy born May 30, 2011
AnnieA (due 7/18) ~ Baby girl born July 17, 2011
MarineWife (due 7/30) ~ Baby boy born July 25, 2011
Baby_Cakes (due 8/16) ~ Baby boy born August 16, 2011
MovingMomma (due 8/9) ~ Baby girl born August 18, 2011
akind1 (due 9/28) ~ Baby girl born October 11, 2011
mom2one (due 10/23) ~ Baby boy born October 21, 2011
jeninejessica (due 12/01) ~ Baby girl born November 29, 2011
Kindermama (due 1/6) ~ Baby boy born January 1, 2012

akind1 going around again ~ due 3/6/2013 but betting on 3/11 or 3/19
(I'm guessing another girl because our group is short one girl and we were right on 50/50 alternating boy/girl. )

July: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1357121/july-2012-rockstar-mamas
Edited by MarineWife - 8/1/12 at 6:18am

[Baby_Cakes]

Subbing!

We finally had a decent night again!  Only 3 wake ups at 1, 4 and 6, then up for the day at 730.  I love when the coffee is already brewed, b/c w/o opening my eyes, I know it's time to get up for the day when I smell it.  Mmm.  There just isn't anything like the smell of fresh brewed coffee in the am.

Lauri - I'm right there with you.  New skills are popping up, walking-ish, I *think* he actually signed "more" one time yesterday, and he's teething (AGAAINNN).  Fussy and he has a bad teething rash.  So.  I try to just accept this for what it is and know it will pass!!!

annie - awesome on writing!  Oh I wanted to be a writer so badly, I just NEVER have time to even write for my blog let alone an actual series.  I have an amazing book idea in my mind.  I thought about just turning it into a script at one point, so it could be made into a movie and I could get millions of dollars and never have to worry about money!  

kat - I love all the pics you post of N and G playing and laughing together!  Do they ever fight?  I feel like here it's 50/50 b/w getting along and whining/bickering/crying.

AFUS - Yesterday was a really fun good day for us.  The weather was iffy and I was feeling sort of blah, so we made lots of crafts, watched some TV, had some snacks, Finn took a good nap so Nora and I had time to draw and color and clean up.  Then after Chris came down, he offered to watch the kids so I could go run.  I did a nice solid 4 mile run in 40 min!  Felt so amazing to just get out and do it.  The weather was perfect and the sun wasn't too hot.  Came home, showered, had a good dinner of burgers with spicy garlic cheese (daiya) and guacamole, some wine, a little whiskey.  Kids went right to bed by 930.  Ahhh.  Then Chris and i got to watch DS9 w/o interruption or anything.  It was so nice.  I want to put that day on repeat!  

He leaves again Sunday for 4 days to Tampa.  I joked we were going with him and staying in Orlando for 4 days, lol.  Sigh.  I can't WAIT to go back to Disneyworld again already.

Maybe you guys can help me think out of the box.  I'm having trouble figuring this out.  When I start taking doula clients, who am I going to get to watch the kids if DH is out of town?  For the time being, my MIL might be able to, but I'm not sure if she would be able to during the day, especially if she is working.  Do doulas typically hire mother's helpers or babysitters or something?

[akind1]

My doula uses her mother - they all live together (her husband is a trucker and gone a lot) - But having a mother's helper might be a good stand-by. Unless you've made good mom-friends that might be willing to help out.

Annie - yay for writing!

MW: My due date is March 6, 2013. I am betting on either 3/11/13 or 3/19/13 as the actual birth date though. Gabe and Norah both have 11's in their birthdays - 11/20 and 10/11. (3/19 because that's 13 days beyond the EDD, and both N and G were born then) - but then, this baby is such a surprise, who knows!

Carrie - I don't post pictures of fighting! then again, they don't really fight yet. Sometimes Gabe gets pushy when Norah gets up in his business. He tried to ride her while she was crawling yesterday. But generally, they play well together. It's taken some time to get to this point though.

[MarineWife]

We got better sleep last night, too. I was able to sleep until around 7:30, which was nice after waking earlier for the past few days. Have you all noticed that our babies seem to go through the same things at the same time? I swear, we all seem to have sleep troubles at the same time. Maybe it's something in the atmosphere.

And, for having some time with the hubby. Sean and I have been getting along better. I got a to-do list pad for the fridge the other day. It has a box for today, tomorrow, and 2 or 3 other times. In each box I put, "Kiss your wife" with a box next to it. hehe It's kind of a joke here because dh likes to make lists and put a box next to each thing so he can check it off as he gets it done. This came up in that workshop we went to. Apparently, everyone in his personality group does that sort of thing. It was pretty funny listening to them all agree that they make lists like that. So, I told him I had a list of things for him to do on the fridge. He got a kick out of it. I think he thought it was going to be work type stuff so was very pleased when he saw it.

I've been making more of an effort to do little things like that for and with him. It has been helping him relax and soften, I think.

I don't actually know what Doulas do. I would assume you'd need at least one backup sitter for those times when your dh or other family member couldn't stay with the kids. If you are mostly concerned about during the day, are there any drop-in child care places where you are? Would you feel comfortable using one of those places? You can have more than one person authorized to pick up your kids, so if your dh is out of town, your MIL could pick them up when she gets done with work.

Rainy, rainy, rainy here. I don't know what we'll do today.

[akind1]

I have only known one doula well, and what she does is a couple meetings before the baby, to talk about the birth plan, what role we want her to have in the delivery room (hands on, hands off, running interference with hospital staff, etc) expectations, that sort of thing. She also likes to go to a prenatal visit with you, if you are comfortable with that, so she can meet at least one of your attendants (dr or midwife) and kind of get a feel for what they expect her role to be too. Then of course, you call her when you think you might be in labor, and she'll come labor with you at home, if you like, or meet you at the hospital (or birthing center, whatever). She stays until the baby is born, however long it takes, plus a couple hours after.

so, really, it is a long chunk of time she commits herself to. Mine also offers birth photography services and placenta encapsulation.

As for what she does in the delivery room, well, whatever you want, short of checking your cervix or offering you meds, etc - she's not a nurse  or midwife. Mine helped by suggesting different positions, talking me through things, reminding me how and when to breathe, vocalize, etc. Worked with the nurse to make sure we went by my birth plan. offers massage, and other pain relief tools. Especially in a hospital setting with shift changes, it is so nice to have one person who stays with you for the duration. She also helped make the transition from the labor to post partum room go smoothly. I had passed out in the bathroom following delivery, and she made sure everything came with us, because I was not in a position to do so.

Needless to say, I *heart* my doula - doulas are awesome!

MW: I am so glad you and Sean are in a better place! and I like your kissing checklist :) and hooray for good sleep.

[MarineWife]

Thanks for giving me your EDD. I meant to ask you but forgot.

I wish I had a doula for Ethan's hospital birth. My doula for Kellen's homebirth ended just taking photos and video. My midwife and her assistant were all I needed at home. Of course, everyone is different. I'm sure there are women who want a doula for homebirth.

I put Dylan on my back with the mei tai. It was easy to get him on there but uncomfortable. My shoulders and back hurt after just a few minutes. What am I doing wrong?

[onetwoten]

MW-- Did you watch the concert series from her home? Takes my breath away everytime!!  It's been a long time since I've been excited about an artist or band, but she does it for me!

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

We finally had a decent night again!  Only 3 wake ups at 1, 4 and 6, then up for the day at 730.  I love when the coffee is already brewed, b/c w/o opening my eyes, I know it's time to get up for the day when I smell it.  Mmm.  There just isn't anything like the smell of fresh brewed coffee in the am.

Maybe you guys can help me think out of the box.  I'm having trouble figuring this out.  When I start taking doula clients, who am I going to get to watch the kids if DH is out of town?  For the time being, my MIL might be able to, but I'm not sure if she would be able to during the day, especially if she is working.  Do doulas typically hire mother's helpers or babysitters or something?

YAY!!

I posted on FB that I was compiling a list of people who could help out, days, nights, weekends, etc. I actually got a pretty good response!  From stories and people I've talked to, it seems like family is the easiest (especially if you have to call them at say 3am), and neighbors near by can also be priceless. I'm really lucky right now because my in laws (and DH's youngest sister) live 2 blocks away, and his mom doesn't work, just does a ton of running around etc for his other siblings and their kids. And then both of his sisters are SAHMs and live less than 15 minutes away. My cousin is also a SAHM and lives about 8 minutes from one of the hospitals here that delivers. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

We got better sleep last night, too. I was able to sleep until around 7:30, which was nice after waking earlier for the past few days. Have you all noticed that our babies seem to go through the same things at the same time? I swear, we all seem to have sleep troubles at the same time. Maybe it's something in the atmosphere.
And, for having some time with the hubby. Sean and I have been getting along better. I got a to-do list pad for the fridge the other day. It has a box for today, tomorrow, and 2 or 3 other times. In each box I put, "Kiss your wife" with a box next to it. hehe It's kind of a joke here because dh likes to make lists and put a box next to each thing so he can check it off as he gets it done. This came up in that workshop we went to. Apparently, everyone in his personality group does that sort of thing. It was pretty funny listening to them all agree that they make lists like that. So, I told him I had a list of things for him to do on the fridge. He got a kick out of it. I think he thought it was going to be work type stuff so was very pleased when he saw it.
I've been making more of an effort to do little things like that for and with him. It has been helping him relax and soften, I think.

I was thinking the same thing about sleep and milestones! They all seem to hit them at the same time- they may be different milestones (ie ones working on walking, one on crawling, one on standing, etc), but they seem to hit ones at the same time!

That's good about you and Sean. It's funny how the little things can mean SO much!

Originally Posted by akind1 

I have only known one doula well, and what she does is a couple meetings before the baby, to talk about the birth plan, what role we want her to have in the delivery room (hands on, hands off, running interference with hospital staff, etc) expectations, that sort of thing. She also likes to go to a prenatal visit with you, if you are comfortable with that, so she can meet at least one of your attendants (dr or midwife) and kind of get a feel for what they expect her role to be too. Then of course, you call her when you think you might be in labor, and she'll come labor with you at home, if you like, or meet you at the hospital (or birthing center, whatever). She stays until the baby is born, however long it takes, plus a couple hours after.

so, really, it is a long chunk of time she commits herself to. Mine also offers birth photography services and placenta encapsulation.

As for what she does in the delivery room, well, whatever you want, short of checking your cervix or offering you meds, etc - she's not a nurse  or midwife. Mine helped by suggesting different positions, talking me through things, reminding me how and when to breathe, vocalize, etc. Worked with the nurse to make sure we went by my birth plan. offers massage, and other pain relief tools. Especially in a hospital setting with shift changes, it is so nice to have one person who stays with you for the duration. She also helped make the transition from the labor to post partum room go smoothly. I had passed out in the bathroom following delivery, and she made sure everything came with us, because I was not in a position to do so.

Needless to say, I *heart* my doula - doulas are awesome!

<3  Love the doula love! lol

I've been lucky, I haven't had any long births. My shortest last from about 430am until 1030am, and my longest was from about 3am until 11pm at night. You hear the horror stories of 36-48 hour labors. Makes me nervous! 

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

Thanks for giving me your EDD. I meant to ask you but forgot.
I wish I had a doula for Ethan's hospital birth. My doula for Kellen's homebirth ended just taking photos and video. My midwife and her assistant were all I needed at home. Of course, everyone is different. I'm sure there are women who want a doula for homebirth.
I put Dylan on my back with the mei tai. It was easy to get him on there but uncomfortable. My shoulders and back hurt after just a few minutes. What am I doing wrong?

I don't know what I would have done withoout my doula in the hospital. As far as support and actual relaxation/pain help, I wouldn't say she did a ton, but just -having- her there, knowing she was on my side and rooting for me, meant so much more than I thought it could. Just the little whispers asking me questions when the nurse didn't care, that type of thing. 

With the mei tai, I find I get sore if she isn't tied really tight. She really needs to be snugged up to my back really well for it to feel comfy. Make sure the waist band is snug too, so it's taking some weight, instead of it all on your shoulders. 

Ok, so we had a good, no... great night last night! It took about 45 minutes to get her down, but was kind of my fault because I waited too long. She fell asleep shortly after 9pm. She woke and fussed for a minute at about 1030, but I was able to rub her back and she settled right away, didn't even have to pick her up. And then she slept until just after 3am!  That's 6 hours! Then up again at about 540am, so a little over two hours. And then she was up again at 630 and came into bed with us. It was soooo nice!!

Except... I think she slept so well because she has a fever :/   When I was snuggling her at 540, I noticed she was quite warm, so we took her blanket off. Took her temp at 8 and it was 101.6.  Not worrying yet, but definitely the warmest I've ever felt her!! So far she's just whiny and clingy, no other sick symptoms. I'm getting DH to pick up an ear thermometer while he's out today though, because apparently she's getting too mobile for the underarm one! lol It was so hard to get the reading. 

We're supposed to be heading out to the lake today, and I hope this doesn't siderail it. We were going to go out today, and then DH will come back Thursday evening, while Ten and I stay out there. Then Friday after work, he'll come back out. Friday afternoon/evening my family is doing my birthday 'gathering' out there, and hopefully getting in a boat ride and such. It will be fun-- and weird! I've only been alonew ith Ten once overnight! 

[akind1]

What kind of shoulder straps does your mei tai have? padded, unpadded? Do they come straight up from the middle piece, or at an angle? All of that can make a big difference in comfort.

I hope T is doing ok and tolerates the boat ride well. I love boats!

In a homebirth, I think doulas probably aren't as important. you don't really need them to run interference, and most people that choose homebirth already feel really connected to their midwife. And the midwife is there for the duration. Unlike OBs, hospital midwives, and L&D nurses. that and often the midwive's assistant or apprentice often serves in a doula role.

I love me some Adele!

[MarineWife]

I got it very tight. I cinched it up even tighter after I got him in and tied it once. The shoulder straps are padded and go off at an angle. They aren't cutting into my shoulders. The whole thing feels like it's pulling on my shoulders so that my muscles start to ache.

[akind1]

I didn't think they were cutting into your shoulder - you would have said; but some people find different style of shoulders to be more comfortable than others. I think, if I had a mei tai, I'd prefer wrap straps - those are wide ones that can cup your shoulders and distribute weight better. (for some people)

wrap straps:

http://horseymama.blogspot.com/2007/06/my-homemade-mei-tai.html

I like my SSC best for when I want her up fast, but she will be up a while. Otherwise I am using the ring sling alot. Wraps are still my ultimate favorite for feeling really secure and comfy on both of us.

[MarineWife]

Oh, ok. I thought that was why you asked if they were padded or not. I was imagining that unpadded straps might cut into the shoulders.

I've seen those wrap straps. I don't really like how they look. If I'm going to buy something new, it will be an Ergo or a Boba. I was trying the mei tai again in hopes of not needing to buy something new. I really should practice with my wrap more. I bet it would be easier now that D is older. He was much more cooperative today than he had been in the past.

There aren't many times when I really need to carry him on my back for long periods. I usually just pop him in my pouch long enough to get him a cart or whatever. I'm trying to have all my options available for Williamsburg. I've been debating whether or not to bring my double stroller for D and K or only the umbrella stroller and I'll carry D if K gets tired and needs to ride.

[akind1]

You will want to wear D, not carry him. (my arms are worn out carrying in arms very quickly!) I've not been wearing as much since Norah can get down and explore. But when we shop, she hates the cart unless Gabe is in it too, so I wear her for that, or when she's tired. the stroller is more for Gabe, who likes to get in and out alot.

I would say get a boba. If Sean is into wearing at all (not sure) it will likely fit both of you better.

[MarineWife]

Oh, yeah, when I said carry I meant wear. There's no way I could carry D around Williamsburg in my arms. He gets heavy fast! He doesn't mind the stroller or a cart, though. That's why I'm not sure if I should just plan to use the double stroller. The thing takes up a lot of space in the van, though.

Didn't you say the Boba was better for taller people or taller babies? Sean and I are both short, 5' and 5'6", respectively. Dylan is pretty average although his weight is dropping off. Did I tell you all that he didn't seem to grow at all from 11 to 12 months? He looks bigger to me but his weight and height are the same.

[akind1]

Good for taller babies - as in older ones. If he is at all a leaner, I would go with the Boba. Ergo has a shorter body, and also just seems hotter, fabric wise. Gabe is really not exceptionally tall, I would be surprised if he reached 6 feet as an adult, honestly, and he really was too tall for the Ergo just around a year. He was about 30" then, IIRC.

I like our double, and will likely use it more once the new one arrives, but right now pushing one and wearing one works best.

[MarineWife]

Ok, thanks. Now that you've explained that more I remember seeing toddlers/kids looking precarious in Ergos. Maybe I can get some of these diapers sold so I can buy a Boba.

I found a FB group for buying, selling and trading Fuzzibunz. Now I really feel like I got ripped off selling that one for $11 ppd with an insert, which adds a lot to the shipping weight. They are listed on that FB group at $13 without an insert. I made less than $8 on that diaper. But, as dh said, it's $8 more than we had when we hadn't sold it.

I'm pretty much without him tonight. He has to stay at work because some Marines are coming home from deployment. He said he'll be there until around 2 am. I don't know why he's even bothering to come home because he gets up for work around 4:30. I guess maybe he can sleep later if he skips his workout. We met him at the base for dinner and wandered around the exchange. They have a memory foam bamboo mattress, $799 for a king. Did you all know those were being made? I love it but dh said it's too soft. I teased that he'd be gone for October and come home to a new mattress. hehe

Dylan fell asleep in the car on the way home so now he'll probably be up late.

[AnnieA]

I'll be spending my days off this weekend childproofing all the cabinets in my house. That little buggar is too fast for me to keep up now!

I need to start checking CL for an Ergo or Boba again. I think Ava would really enjoy riding in one and it would be easier to get her in and out of than my wrap.
 

[akind1]

You are on FB are you not? there is a babywearing swap group on facebook, and while it's nice if you have feedback from places (like the babywearer or diaperswappers) it's not necessary. Ergo and Boba are on there frequently. I've had good luck buying and selling on there.

MW: See, maybe I'm just cheap, but I wouldn't buy a used FB without an insert for $13PPD. When I buy pockets used, I aim for around $10, with an insert PPD. Otherwise, I could buy new. BUT - it's great news, if you are selling, that people will spend that!

Need to buckle down and get some work done.

The house is really as childproof as I need it to be, with the exception of access to the stairs. She likes standing at the base of them, but doesn't really seem to want to climb them. yet.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by AnnieA 

I'll be spending my days off this weekend childproofing all the cabinets in my house. That little buggar is too fast for me to keep up now!

I need to start checking CL for an Ergo or Boba again. I think Ava would really enjoy riding in one and it would be easier to get her in and out of than my wrap.
 

A few ppl across the country I know have seen Ergos at costco recently for $79.99.  Do you go to Costco??  Check yours!!

Agreed it'll be way easier.  i'm going to bring my stroller and Boba to williamsburg.  If I don't need to use the Boba, you can use it for Ava while we are there if you need to.

I put a latch on one drawer all by myself.  Wouldn't you know since I did that he hasn't even gone NEAR that drawer!?  Sigh.  

Originally Posted by akind1 

MW: See, maybe I'm just cheap, but I wouldn't buy a used FB without an insert for $13PPD. When I buy pockets used, I aim for around $10, with an insert PPD. Otherwise, I could buy new. BUT - it's great news, if you are selling, that people will spend that!

I don't think you're cheap, I wouldn't pay that much either.  I aim for b/w $10-$15 for a used dipe, and that $15 would be on the high end for something ridiculously awesome.  Like maybe something new in package.  Not used, even gently.

I was talking to Chris last night about wanting to get some stay dry grovia inserts, but they are moving so fast on the grovia B/S/T and the ones that are used aren't that much cheaper than the new ones.  He acted so grossed out that I was buyign used diapers!  I asked if he could tell which ones in our stash are used vs new and he couldn't.  But he says he's still totally grossed out and only wants me to buy new.  Ha!  I don't think that's going to happen, but at least now if I do buy new, I have no reason to feel guilty over it!  LOL!

Something about my baby turning one is really making me want another.  It's got to be hormones, right?  Or something?  The end of an era is hard.  We were chatting about the galactosemia thing again, and how any future babies, etc etc...and all of a sudden we looked at each other and said, "WHY are we talking about this!?"  and shook our heads.  We both want to be done but I think we both feel weird about it.

I need to get Nora up.  She's been sleeping in lately and staying up til 10 or so.  I need to get her on a better schedule b/c Chris leaves on Sunday for a few days, and I like her to be in bed asleep by 9 when I'm alone.  

We have a park playdate today so that should be fun!

[akind1]

In bed, ASLEEP!, by 9??? Ha. I am happy if we get both in bed by 10. If I am by myself, this happens more often.

We hope to be getting a Costco. Right now we just have Sam's.

Enjoy the park!

I think, other than hospital diapers, we will be CD'ing the newbie from birth. I have friends that will loan me flats and covers, and I think I can manage that until the baby grows into my OS and medium diapers.

I am really trying to treasure this last pregnancy. I think it helps so much to KNOW its the last one, it helps with closure. I am totally at peace with it too. With these spaced so closely together, it's all I think we can handle, LOL.

Gabe has been way more attached to DH lately. I LOVE it.

[Baby_Cakes]

I almost did it last night!  Finn was down and asleep by 9, but Nora took til 9:20!  Getting closer!  She woke up on her own today at 830 too, which is perfect for a 9 pm bedtime tonight!  Woo hoo!

I think I put my finger on the whole #3 thing.  I'm ambivalent and could go either way.  If I leave it completely up to Chris, I'd be ok.  If he ever said he wanted 1 more, I'd do it w/o skipping a beat.  If he said he was really and truly done, I'd be ok too.

Park playdate was fun!  Only odd thing was she had her daughter on a leash.  I didn't know what to make of that.  She seemed really bothered by the fact that an 18 mo old would want to run around.  Idk.  It's a park!  Let her run!

I'm sure you all saw but Finn is officially standing on his own.  He also stood up from sitting once.  He's getting there!!

Happy friday all!  Anyone have weekend plans?