or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › August 2012 Rockstar Mamas
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

August 2012 Rockstar Mamas - Page 11

post #201 of 287
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

It does need to be done.

But it doesn't, really. What's the worst that could happen if it didn't get done? Would someone die? Would the world come to an end? Even if either of those things could happen, does it still need to be done? No, not really, as long as you don't mind the consequences. So, then, if you do mind the consequences and you don't want the world to end or someone to die or the bathroom to be stinky or the sink full of dishes or not having clean clothes or whatever, then you can choose to do something about it. You are choosing to care. You are choosing to do something about it. You are choosing what and how you do whatever you choose to do. It is all a choice. And, if you choose to clean, you can also choose not to clean. Then it becomes something that you want to do for whatever reason rather than something you feel you have to do. It's another one of those subtle mind shifts that can make a huge difference in the quality of your life.
post #202 of 287

See, it needs to be done because the stink gets unbearable. and for me, since I would rather not barf upon entry to the kitchen, it does "need" to be done, as I am not ok with the consequences.  Even with a mind shift, it doesn't make me like doing it any better. I like the result, and that's enough for me.

 

DH took over the dishes, since he knew the sour milk smell was bad :) bonus to being a pregnant woman with a sensitive nose and stomach!

 

Now, laundry, I don't mind. I don't mind picking up the living room, or any of that. Dishes and raking leaves though. Ugh.

 

Norah is thankfully down for a nap. hopefully Gabe will crash soon, and not the sort that results in injuries.

post #203 of 287
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

See, it needs to be done because the stink gets unbearable. and for me, since I would rather not barf upon entry to the kitchen, it does "need" to be done, as I am not ok with the consequences. 

That's still only a need in your mind. You could just not go in the kitchen. You could throw things out instead of keeping them to be washed and reused or have someone else do it like your dh is doing. Yes, that may seem silly or extreme but those are options. So, when you choose to wash the dishes so that they don't start smelling like sour milk and make you vomit, you are making a choice. You always have the option of choosing not to (whether you can recognize that or not). If you can begin to recognize that and shift your thinking just a little bit, doing it won't be so bad.
post #204 of 287

Not so bad, no. I just don't like it - and I think I don't WANT to like it either LOL. And not going in the kitchen isn't an option. Also not ok with the consequences of not eating or drinking, or the kids not eating or drinking, as they can't get food themselves yet.

 

Doing dishes was always "my" chore growing up, and no one elses - my mom hasn't ever liked doing dishes either, and my sister never learned how (I hope she does now) and I just dread it. The extremeness stuff, while I see your point, is also a bit silly. I could let my house get like the people on Hoarders, but I want to stay sane, so I don't. And my parents might evict us, LOL

post #205 of 287
Thread Starter 
Those are all choices you make. And, like you said, you can choose not to make a choice or not to like something. It's all still a choice. winky.gif
post #206 of 287

Except in my case... I have to clean up so that I can make food. I need to eat... thus... not so much a choice! Unless I wanted takeout every night! lol

post #207 of 287
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by onetwoten View Post

Unless I wanted takeout every night! lol

Yep, and that's a choice. If you decide you don't want takeout every night, you are choosing something else. You could use paper plates and plastic utensils so you don't have dirty dishes to wash. You could use only premade frozen meals so you don't have dirty pots and pans to wash. It's ok to do any of those things. Whatever you would rather do for whatever reason. It's all ok.
post #208 of 287

Interesting discussion about choices. I usually choose to not have DD screaming her head off so the cleaning doesn't get done. I'm ok with it.

 

DD is still pretty sick. The mucus keeps making her throw up. greensad.gif And her sleep is for crap. I'm back to considering putting the fourth side on her crib. She sometimes acts like she doesn't want me to walk around with her while she's going to sleep, she pushes up against me like she wants to get down but she's half asleep. Ugh, I wish I could have two cribs, one with the side up and one w/out!
 

post #209 of 287

Before I forget-- I don't remember if I shared the first part of this or not, but I've got the whole birth story done and pictures added finally: http://thingsthat-shine.blogspot.ca/p/birth-story-of-thb.html  Part 1 is "friendly", but part 2 has both boob and crotch shots, view at your own discretion! lol 

post #210 of 287
Oh JJ! I could read your birth story over and over! And the pics are just fantastic! I love the one of Ten kinda looking out of the corner of her eye at Daddy like "Mama and I are a little busy here. Do you mind?" Such attitude right away! Her personality shines through for sure!
post #211 of 287

We do eat on paper plates, probably 80% of the time, but real utensils. No one likes dishes. LOL!

 

JJ: I love your birth story. I am considering having my doula do some post-birth photography. I am not really into how I look during labor. I still have memories of how I sounded, and those are freaky enough, I don't want to know how I looked! But I would love some fantastic post-birth pics. (she offers birth photography as part of her services). LOVE how well yours is documented. Does it make you want to do it all over again, or not? I wonder -

 

I hope Ten is feeling better soon. Poor little one. We do have two cribs. She never sleeps in the one with the side up. Little cuddle bug.

 

We play with Norah  to get her to stand on her own and try to walk towards us - it's very cute. Gabe wants to play the same game. Not as cute. but kinda funny.

post #212 of 287
Thread Starter 
JJ ~ Thanks for sharing that. I skimmed it but have bookmarked it so I can read it in depth when I have more time.

I bought that Boba you told me about, too. That was the best deal I could find. I'm stoked I'll have it to use at Williamsburg.

Not much going on here. We've been chillin' at home because someone has been sick since Friday. We missed homeschool bowling today and Ethan's baseball practice.

Dylan's rash is finally healing, I think. It's kind of weird. It looks almost completely cleared up first thing in the morning after he's worn a diaper all night. I've been letting him go without a diaper as much as possible during the day. If he does wear a diaper during the day for any length of time, like for a nap, the rash starts to get red and irritated looking again. I don't get why it would look better after wearing a diaper all night and then worse after wearing one for only a few hours during the day.
post #213 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

JJ: I love your birth story. I am considering having my doula do some post-birth photography. I am not really into how I look during labor. I still have memories of how I sounded, and those are freaky enough, I don't want to know how I looked! But I would love some fantastic post-birth pics. (she offers birth photography as part of her services). LOVE how well yours is documented. Does it make you want to do it all over again, or not? I wonder -

Absolutely I would. It was hard. I repeat- HARD. But I would do labor again in a heartbeat. There's just something about -knowing- you can do it that it so empowering. I'm much more ready to give birth again than I am to have another newborn! lol 

 

I don't love how I look in a lot of them, but it's worth it for how they convey so much. Some of the emotions where I"m like Oh, wow. Yeah I remember exactly what I was thinking at that moment! And yeah, I actually wish I had more post-birth photos. Both from in the hospital, and at home for the first few days, we barely took any.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

JJ ~ Thanks for sharing that. I skimmed it but have bookmarked it so I can read it in depth when I have more time.
I bought that Boba you told me about, too. That was the best deal I could find. I'm stoked I'll have it to use at Williamsburg.
Not much going on here. We've been chillin' at home because someone has been sick since Friday. We missed homeschool bowling today and Ethan's baseball practice.
Dylan's rash is finally healing, I think. It's kind of weird. It looks almost completely cleared up first thing in the morning after he's worn a diaper all night. I've been letting him go without a diaper as much as possible during the day. If he does wear a diaper during the day for any length of time, like for a nap, the rash starts to get red and irritated looking again. I don't get why it would look better after wearing a diaper all night and then worse after wearing one for only a few hours during the day.

 

Yay!  I am SO feeling the Boba love.  I just noticed mine has a broken snap though :( I'm worried I'm going to have to send it in to have it repaired/replaced. Blah. I don't want to be without it for several weeks. (I bought mine new, since I couldn't find a good enough deal, so I've contacted them about what to do...)

 

That's weird about the rash. I'm assuming you don't use differen't day/night diapers? Or have you noticed if he pees during the night? I know Ten is often dry all night long, and then just goes pee after about 6am onwards or so. 

 

Two days in a row Ten has had one good nap each day! The other one sucked, but yesterday and today we got almost two hour naps!  She's all of a sudden started letting me wear her down (this feels repetitive, I think I must have written this already...), so I've been wearing her, and then transitioning her to the bed and going and having me time for 25 minutes or so. Then the first time she wakes up, I go in there and lay down with her, and nurse her quickly back to sleep, and then I nap with her. It's best of both worlds because I get my alone time AND my nap. 

post #214 of 287

Hooray for naps! One good nap is all we get most days. I think she's transitioning to just one. Yesterday she got 2 cat naps. Not cool, that.

 

And yes, I do love wearing her down! sometimes more than nursing, because then I can get stuff done while putting her to sleep, LOL

 

Today is my Friday! On actual friday, we are going to go to Charleston. I want to take the kids to the beach, and this is my last chance this summer to do it.

 

MW: that is really odd about the rash . . . no thoughts.

post #215 of 287

Oh, I want to do another beach day this year. I went like three years without going at all, and then went once during my pregnancy, but only stayed for like... an hour. And then Ten and I went once this year, but DH stayed home (obviously- that was the big fight we got into!). We've been to the -lake-, but not the beach together. And Ten had so much fun last time, so I really want to try again. Rob has a three day weekend this weekend, plus Tues he doesn't work until the afternoon, so maybe I can convince him to go then. 

 

Yeah, the wearing down is nice. She never used to go for it. She would sometimes fall asleep (but usually fought it), but she wouldn't stay asleep very long, and never stay asleep through me transferring her off my back. 

 

So- sad mama moment. I'm doing a puzzle. Rob laughed at me, and asked why. I told him it was silly, but I needed to feel like I was accomplishing something, even if it was only a damn puzzle! lol And it does feel nice to have something 'me' to work towards. 

post #216 of 287
Thread Starter 
I remember thinking I was insane to give birth at home instead of in a hospital where I could have had drugs when I was in the toughest part of it with both Kellen and Dylan. lol.gif Right after having Kellen I remember thinking that I was NEVER going to do that again! Obviously, that didn't stick. Then after having Dylan I remember thinking, "Ok, I've done this at home without drugs twice. If there's a next time, I'm going to the hospital and getting drugs asap.!" lol.gif I doubt I really would but, going back to the discussion on choices, just knowing it's an option in my own head makes it easier to do it either way (not that I'm going to have another baby, but...).

I do use different diapers for nighttime vs. during the day most of the time. My Wonderoos are exclusively for nights because I don't like them but they make night time changes very easy and they never leak as long as they are stuffed properly. They are the only diapers I have with microsuede inside. They are PUL on the outside. I use mostly fitted hemp or cotton PFs during the day, sometimes with a knit cover, at home. I sometimes use Swaddlebees AIOs, which are microfibre and PUL, or Muttaqin AI2s, bamboo and PUL, or Rainshine Designs pockets, PUL stuffed with a cotton PF or hemp insert. Anything with the PUL causes the worst rash flare up except the Wonderoos. So, maybe there's something about the microsuede in the Wonderoos. shrug.gif

I don't know if he stays dry all night or not. Usually by the time I change him his diaper is wet but I don't usually get to it first thing when we get up. I usually nurse him before changing his diaper.

JJ ~ Could you take your Boba to a seamstress or tailor and have them replace the snap? I don't think it's that difficult. It may be free if you mail it back to the Boba people to be replaced but might not be worth time time going without it. KWIM?

I don't think the puzzle is sad. That's pretty much what my knitting is. It's something I do for me from which I can get a sense of accomplishment.

Dylan is laying quietly on the couch sucking his thumb! jaw2.gif
post #217 of 287

I have two hands and no kids climbing on me!!!!  joy.gif

 

 

Sleep has been SUCKING for 3 or 4 nights, I'm losing track.  I think I accidentally had dairy yesterday or the day before, b/c I had horrible stomach cramps, and Finn was a NIGHTMARE.  He was restless and farting all night.  Which would make sense if there was milk protein in my, um, milk.  LOL.

But, that aside, he isn't nursing down for bed easily.  It's the WORST.  I used to sit at the foot of Nora's bed and he'd pass out, then I'd go put him down, come back and give her kisses and then she'd go to bed.  Or else she'd be asleep before I got back.  Now...sigh.  He isn't nursing down.  Last night I was up for an additional 30-35 min rocking/nursing until I finally fell asleep with him on my chest.  It's ROUGH.  I'm not used to it.

 

His nap schedule is wonky too.  1230 and again at 5, 530.  Maybe that's messing up his bedtime?  Maybe he's ready for 1 nap?  I just wish I knew what to do.  Any thoughts?  

Today, though he slept only 30 min this morning in the stroller, so he went down at 445 which works out WONDERFULLY honestly.  A full hour and a half before I need to leave to get Nora!  I'm doing a jig and I'm so happy I have this time to just SIT.  

 

re: broken boba - sucks!!  I hope you can fix it fast and free.

 

I also agree the puzzle is like knitting.  It's making something, completing a project.  What is the picture of?  How many pieces?

 

I'm so looking fwd to our Williamsburg trip!  Is anyone else going to Busch?  I think DH and I might take the kids one of the days.  

 

JJ - birth story.  AMAZING.  I read it with baited breath and the pictures were just breathtaking!  I wish I could recall that detailed of a story.  I wish I had pictures!!  Sigh.  You were so strong and so powerful.  Loved reading it!!  Thank you for sharing it!!!

post #218 of 287
Thread Starter 
i can't help with the sleep issues. Dylan has never been very cooperative about settling down and falling asleep when I want him to.
post #219 of 287

Ugh, Baby_Cakes, that's rough. My rule is if you haven't gone to sleep by 5 PM, then everyone just needs to suck it up and baby goes to bed at 7 PM. Sleep is still awful here but Ava and I have a cold and so that's to be expected. Although we did sleep until 9 AM this morning. Of course, this was the one morning I wanted to wake up early. It was the first day of school and DH and I always go and meet the kids at the bus stop, take pics, etc. I missed it. greensad.gif

 

I'm SOOOOOOO excited for Williamsburg! I'm not going to attempt Busch Gardens. I may walk around Colonial Williamsburg with Ava but probably won't do the paid tour. Money is still tight and plus I can never tell what Ava's tolerance level is going to be. I'm just looking forward to hanging out in the condo with you guys, going to the pool, etc. I'm bringing toys and stuff so you guys traveling from far away don't have to schlep so much stuff. I'm going to bring stuff for the babies plus Playmobil and some other stuff for the older kids.
 

post #220 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

JJ ~ Could you take your Boba to a seamstress or tailor and have them replace the snap? I don't think it's that difficult. It may be free if you mail it back to the Boba people to be replaced but might not be worth time time going without it. KWIM?

Rob said we should just do it ourselves (his mom has a snap press), but this particular snap, the backside is hidden- so we'd have to unstitch the carrier, fix the snap, and then restitch. I think that's asking for trouble in terms of safety, you know? 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

His nap schedule is wonky too.  1230 and again at 5, 530.  Maybe that's messing up his bedtime?  Maybe he's ready for 1 nap?  I just wish I knew what to do.  Any thoughts?  

Today, though he slept only 30 min this morning in the stroller, so he went down at 445 which works out WONDERFULLY honestly.  A full hour and a half before I need to leave to get Nora!  I'm doing a jig and I'm so happy I have this time to just SIT.  

 

re: broken boba - sucks!!  I hope you can fix it fast and free.

 

JJ - birth story.  AMAZING.  I read it with baited breath and the pictures were just breathtaking!  I wish I could recall that detailed of a story.  I wish I had pictures!!  Sigh.  You were so strong and so powerful.  Loved reading it!!  Thank you for sharing it!!!

Ugh. Ten does that sometimes, she doesn't want to sleep until 4 or 430pm, and then I'm like ohhhh great. But she NEEDS that second nap. Would he hold off on his first nap until 130 or so? Maybe worth trying that for a few days and seeing. 

 

Thanks. :) I --needed-- to write it that detailed to be able to process it, really. It helped me to kind of go through it and understand where and why things happened. I feel so much more confident about a second one now. Like, heck, I can do this. I know where things 'went wrong', and how to fix them. Actually, Rob and I had a realllly good talk the other day about a future birth, and things we would do differently. Most of it focused on staying home/staying home longer. I think if we didn't get a midwife next time, I could convince him to UC. 

 

 

Boba-- Ok, so I got an email back from the canada distribution people. From what I understand, they're shipping me a new one in the next couple days... and told me to just "dispose of" the old one once I've gotten the new one. !!    !!!    So... :S I can't just dispose of it. I mean I -can't-. It's $135 worth of carrier! I also can't sell it because a/ I don't want to risk someone using it broken, and b/ my conscience would kill me. And I don't really need two... gah! I'm so torn. I -think- I might offer it up for our local group for borrowing, with the caveat that it doesn't go to anyone with a newborn. I don't know... what would you guys do?  I mean I guess I could keep it, and just put it in the car or something so I know I always have one. I don't know. At any rate, I have to wait until I get the new one, and see if there's different instructions in there. I'm surprised they don't want me to send it back. 

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › August 2012 Rockstar Mamas