or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › August 2012 Rockstar Mamas
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

August 2012 Rockstar Mamas - Page 13

post #241 of 287
Thread Starter 
Ugh, Annie! I hope Ava hasn't got that nasty sickness that's going around. Ethan spent all of Saturday throwing up. He was also sick for a few days before but Saturday was the worst. Luckily, when Dylan and Kellen had it, they each only threw up once. Dylan had diarrhea for several days after and Kellen had diarrhea for at least a day afterward. Oh, and they all had really high fevers.

I'm supposed to go to a sign making thing today for the Improving Birth rally that's going to happen on the 3rd. I woke up this morning not wanting to go. I still haven't made up my mind yet. I'm so bad about stuff like that. I'm just tired and sluggish and don't feel like moving.
post #242 of 287

I don't think it's a stomach bug thing. She still has so much excess mucus from the cold and it makes her throw up. greensad.gif Last night was baaaaaaaad. She woke at 2, 3:30 and then from about 6 AM on, she coughed. She finally woke up around 7:15 AM.
 

post #243 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

DH gave me a card last night that said, "I miss spooing with you, and forking, too." He wrote underneath, "It might cure some of my grumpiness." That pissed me off. I asked him if he was implying that his grumpiness and lack of sex was my responsibility. Of course, he denied that. That's a perfect example of his awkward attempts. Why can't he just sit next to me on the couch and put his arm around me, kiss my neck, rub my back, something like that? Then I told him that, oh, by the way, I'm not the one who falls asleep. So, he fell asleep again last night. eyesroll.gif Not my problem, dude. If you want to get something going, then do it. Otherwise, quit pissing on me about it.

 

Ugh.  What a misfire!

He tried.  Can you give him credit for trying?  I am the SAME way though, in that don't blame it all on me.  It's you too.  It's both of us being tired and worn out.  The last thing I'm thinking about at the end of a long day is your boner, you might need to a)remind me and b)convince me!

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

Well it was nice while it lasted. DD woke from her first nap ar 12:30. She dozed in the car from 4:30-5 PM. Fought going down at 7:30, her typical bedtime. Finally got her to sleep at 9:30. She tossed and turned and fretted until she threw up all over the bed around 11:30. Just convinced her back to sleep and I can already see her tossing and turning on the monitor while I pump. Oh and I can hear DH snoring THROUGH THE WALL. His ass is getting kicked out as soon as I'm done pumping. I can't put up with that tonight to. Frick on a stick!

 

oHHHH boy the snoring!  I hear you loud and clear!  That's honestly the main reason DH and I sleep in separate rooms.  We have to, or else he's keeping me up and I keep poking him back awake!

 

Puking is the worst.

 

Finn was up at 6 and it took a lot of persuading to get him back to sleep, but I did it!  He slept with me until NINE!  Nine o'clock!  Oh man that was nice!!  

Dh took Finn out just now and I'm really feeling so odd about it!  I'm worried but also enjoying having time with just Nora.  We are about to head out back and throw a frisbee around.

 

It feels like summer is really winding down.  I'm looking fwd to fall in so many ways.  This is going to be a fun year!

post #244 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

DH gave me a card last night that said, "I miss spooing with you, and forking, too." He wrote underneath, "It might cure some of my grumpiness." That pissed me off. I asked him if he was implying that his grumpiness and lack of sex was my responsibility. Of course, he denied that. That's a perfect example of his awkward attempts. Why can't he just sit next to me on the couch and put his arm around me, kiss my neck, rub my back, something like that? Then I told him that, oh, by the way, I'm not the one who falls asleep. So, he fell asleep again last night. eyesroll.gif Not my problem, dude. If you want to get something going, then do it. Otherwise, quit pissing on me about it.

See, I'm the opposite. All the rubbing and kissing and touching gets on my nerves. Just say you want to have sex. Hahaha! Isn't that funny how different everyone is?

post #245 of 287

I'm hoping against hope that tonight will be better. She was so overtired this morning that her nap was for crap. I made DH drive around with her for a few hours this afternoon so she would sleep. For her, sleep begets sleep so hopefully tonight will be better. Plus I forgot to give her her allergy medicine yesterday so I think her nose was more runny/stuffy than just the cold. I gave her the allergy med this morning and she refused her Hyland's cold tablets. So I think she's finally starting to feel better.
 

post #246 of 287
Good luck tonight!!

Sent from my SGH-T959 using Tapatalk
post #247 of 287

Sleep is such a precious commodity! I hope everyone is getting some. (I didn't so much last night. Norah had a nurse-a-thon)

 

Re: DTD - idk about you all, but for me, the longer we go without, the easier it is to continue to go without. It's like, it's been X # of days, weeks, months, what's one more? and we get trapped in that cycle until one of us finally makes a move. And the longer we go without, the crappier our relationship otherwise is - we don't seem to communicate well, get irritated at eachother easily, and spend too much time placing blame instead of finding solutions. When we both make an effort to make DTD a priority, it's amazing the difference. I know it's just sex, but for example, DH has really stepped up doing the dishes and housework lately. He takes time to do those non-sexual touches and things that make me more eager, or at least willing, to forgo a little more sleep to DTD. It's a circular sort of issue. And, FTR, I am sure he wouldn't mind being woken up for sex. Sometimes for me, that helps - I get a little doze in before, so I have some energy for DTD.

 

Re: the card . . . IDK - while it might not have been best way to say it, he tried. Men and marines in general (IME) suck at that sort of thing. And he probably would be less grumpy. I get that you want him to make an effort, but by not making an effort either, I am not really sure what point that proves, other than to keep you stuck in the same rut. (off my soapbox now)

 

two more days left in the first trimester. By all accounts start of week 13 means I am officially in the second trimester! Woot! Can't wait to feel this baby moving!

 

So . . .  we decided we need a bigger car, and really the best thing is a minivan. We started at this dealership we otherwise don't like, because they had some cars on the lot that we did like. Salesman was super nice, and we got a long well. It was too late to run our numbers and see what kind of deal we could get, so we came back the next evening (this was on an 08 grand caravan, fully loaded for around 16K), and the finance guy was the rudest guy I have met. He shouldn't work with people. I have a screaming baby in my arms, and he has the gall to try to play games. brings out ridiculously high numbers (a $350+ monthly payment on a 10K car loan, and low offer on my trade, high interest, just awful) and then we tell him, absolutely not, and he's like well, your car has a bad car fax. Well, turns out it's bad bc there is an error on it, and getting that fixed is next to impossible, so any dealer isn't going to offer as much for it as it's actually worth. But still. Just not a good guy to work with.

 

MIL had DS overnight, so we went shopping with just Norah on Saturday, at a Toyota dealership that DH and his mom had worked with before, ended up with the same salesman they had, and found a 06 Odessy with leather interior and DVD player (the 2 highest things on our wish list) well within our budget at just under 11K. Still had to accept a lower offer on our trade, but carfax is stupid. The business manager said they had a guy come in whose trade had a great carfax, and the guy was honest, said he'd been in 3 accidents with the car, but none of them showed on the carfax.  So it goes both ways. We were in and out, with our new-to-us car keys in under 2 hours. Awesome experience, and we love the minivan.

 

JJ: hooray on Ten's teeth! How many total does she have now? Norah is stalled at 1.

 

Fall is so busy, but I love it!

post #248 of 287
OMG, akind1, that's an AMAZING deal on that van! That same car would have been at least 6-8K more where I live. Geez! And that's one of my dream cars. But now that Ava is here, what I really want is an 06-08 Toyota Sienna with the optional 8th seat.
post #249 of 287
Thread Starter 
Geez! I stopped getting email notifications again! What is up with this website? I'm getting really aggravated.

Annie ~ I hope Ava is feeling better. It is interesting how everyone is different about things. I don't get how much dh never makes a move but says he's always game. If you're game, do something about it. Don't just sit there and wait for me.

Carrie ~ lol.gif on the boner. Yeah, I'm really not concerned about his.

Kat ~ I'm perfectly content with not dtd right now. I really have very little desire. I won't say none because I do think about it sometimes and, if dh actually did something, I'd most likely go along with it. I'm tired of being the one who always gets things done but then has to deal with him complaining about it. I'm not talking about just sex, either. It's everything. If you want something done, do it. Don't expect someone else to be responsible for it. KWIM? I'm not mad. I'm not trying to prove a point. I just don't have the drive to make a big effort right now and I refuse to make it my sole responsibility.

I can't really say if it's a matter of not doing it for a while making it easier to continue to not do it since we haven't started doing it again yet. Things are a little awkward for me when he first comes home from a deployment but it's not hard. IDK. It's hard to explain.

We did talk about it some more. He said he wasn't trying to put it on me. He admitted that he falls asleep. But, again, he still didn't follow through with anything. eyesroll.gif

He's in the field until Thursday night. It's pouring rain. I texted him to see if they were still going to camp out and didn't get an answer. I guess that means they are.

Baseball practice was canceled again.

I had to take the cat to the vet again. He had another fight wound, under his chin this time. That was healing but then he got a hard lump under the skin next to it. I got worried about infection. This cat is going to make us go broke.

DH and I decided we'd cosign a lease for Ryan and his friends so they can get an apartment. Sounds stupid, I know, but a lot of places around here have really short leases, as little as 3 months. That's enough to get them moved in, and if they default on it, we won't get stuck for too long. Ryan said he doesn't want us on the lease, though, so I don't know if it will actually happen.
post #250 of 287
Thread Starter 
I forgot to post this. It's a photo of our family bed with the twin next to the king. It's working out pretty well, I think.

post #251 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

I forgot to post this. It's a photo of our family bed with the twin next to the king. It's working out pretty well, I think.


Oooh love it! Do you have trouble with Dylan getting too close to the edge? DH is freaking out about Ava possibly falling off of our bed. I'm trying to teach her how to dismount from the bed but the problem is that DH falls asleep as soon as he is vertical and he wants DD to as well. irked.gif Not going to happen. So he wants me to put the fourth side on the crib and drop the mattress but I'm concerned if I did that he would get frustrated enough with her in the evenings when she's doing her shenanigans that he would put her in there to CIO. Right now, he doesn't have that option so he has to stay with her until she falls asleep. Ugh, guess we need to talk about it.

post #252 of 287
Thread Starter 
Ethan is on the twin and Dylan is on the king so he's not next to the edge. He has fallen off a few times while playing but is fine. He knows how to climb on and off the bed. I have a stool next to that ottoman thingie at the end of the bed so he can climb up and down. Ethan is standing on the stool in the pic. Dylan can climb down without the stool, too.

I'm hoping this will get Ethan used to sleeping in his own bed.
post #253 of 287

Love the set up -

 

Norah has fallen off a couple times. But she seems to have figured out how to dismount, since I have found her at the door to the bedroom before, when going to get her for naps. We have the sidecar set up, but she's rarely in it. Maybe the new baby will use it more?

 

I hope that it does the trick to getting Ethan to sleep in his own bed. I am so greatful that DS likes his bed!

 

I hope everyone feels better soon, and no one else catches this nasty bug.

post #254 of 287
Thread Starter 
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/coconutsFFChart

CD47, most likely, and 17 days of ewcf. Bleh!
post #255 of 287

Kat- so exciting about the van!! Sounds like a fantastic deal!

 

All the sickness sounds horrible... everyone! lol  We haven't gone through any major sicknesses yet, and listening to you all go through that, I'm crossing my fingers and saying chants! lol Strong mamas you are!

Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

Re: DTD - idk about you all, but for me, the longer we go without, the easier it is to continue to go without. It's like, it's been X # of days, weeks, months, what's one more? and we get trapped in that cycle until one of us finally makes a move. And the longer we go without, the crappier our relationship otherwise is - we don't seem to communicate well, get irritated at eachother easily, and spend too much time placing blame instead of finding solutions. When we both make an effort to make DTD a priority, it's amazing the difference. I know it's just sex, but for example, DH has really stepped up doing the dishes and housework lately. He takes time to do those non-sexual touches and things that make me more eager, or at least willing, to forgo a little more sleep to DTD. It's a circular sort of issue. And, FTR, I am sure he wouldn't mind being woken up for sex. Sometimes for me, that helps - I get a little doze in before, so I have some energy for DTD.

 

Re: the card . . . IDK - while it might not have been best way to say it, he tried. Men and marines in general (IME) suck at that sort of thing. And he probably would be less grumpy. I get that you want him to make an effort, but by not making an effort either, I am not really sure what point that proves, other than to keep you stuck in the same rut. (off my soapbox now)

 

JJ: hooray on Ten's teeth! How many total does she have now? Norah is stalled at 1.

MW- is it possible that he doesn't want to ask, for fear of rejection? It can be hard when the relationship is rocky. If he's already feeling like you don't like him (which lets face it, seems to be the case much of the time!), perhaps he doesn't want to feel any worse by starting something and being shut down? 

 

Teeth. Gah! She cut those two pretty 'silently', and now there seem to be a whole bunch working their way through. She officially has two that are all the way up, and then 2, maybe 3 more that have just poked through the gums. Plus another 1-2 that I'm sure will pop through soon. So, by the time this ends, she'll probably have 6-8? It's crazy, considering nothing was really happening for several weeks!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

I forgot to post this. It's a photo of our family bed with the twin next to the king. It's working out pretty well, I think.

Oooh, I like that setup! 

 

 

We are having some rough days here. We're starting a bit of sleep training- mostly just going more hardcore on the NCSS. I was having trouble because ideally, I just can't let a baby CIO. But I'm drowning here, and DH and I both realized that something needs to change. I told her the other day that I don't want to see her ever again. And I put her in her crib and went into the bedroom and put the pillow over my head and let her cry for 45 minutes, because I knew if I went back in there, I couldn't be patient and nice to her. So... it's time for a change. I've been talking to some of the other girls in my DDC that have gone through similat, and got some good advice. While this is not my first choice, for all of our sanity and the well-being of our family, it's the one I need to do. So... yes, that's what's been happening over here. I think that 45 minutes of sanity crying though, sort of jump started things. She had a fit at bedtime last night, DH and I took 5 minute turns sitting in the room with her and rubbing her back while she kept trying to stand up again, and then we would trade off. Eventually she fell asleep :S  Then today has been much calmer- fussing, but no outright crying and shrieking like she normally would. She crawled around in her crib for 25 minutes while I rubbed her back and hummed to her, and eventually she closed her eyes and snuggled in for sleep. That was at 8:30, and it's been 90 minutes without a peep. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but seriously, if after just 36 hours this is already having small changes, then I think I can do this. Obviously, I'm still going in everytime she cries during the night, and nursing her and/or soothing her back to sleep. Getting her to fall to sleep initially, we're just working really hard at helping her see that she can fall asleep in her bed without a ton of help. We're doing our bed routine, and then I nurse her, cuddle her for a few minutes until she's super relaxed, and then going into the crib for backrubs etc. Once she gets to sleeping 3ish hour stretches, I'm ok with starting to rock her to sleep again, and see if that works. It's not that I -don't- want to rock her to sleep, you know? Just that I want her to be able to go to sleep in other ways and help herself back to sleep. For all of this to stop being a fight at every turn. To get more than an hour of sleep at a time. Slow steps, but I think we're getting there, and without an hour of shrieking, which is nice. I feel like I'm finding a bit of middle ground. 

 

Anyways... I know that's one big mess of thoughts, but in short-- things have been hard hard hard, but I think we could be on the upswing. I think the biggest thing is just giving myself permission to do something that we need to do for the survival of our family. 

 

I'm sure there's more, but my brain is kinda going foggy now. Just waiting for DH to get home, and then time for bed!

post #256 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/coconutsFFChart
CD47, most likely, and 17 days of ewcf. Bleh!

Yikes! I have to say, I've had WAY more fertile CM since my cycles returning, but nothing that crazy! 

post #257 of 287
Thread Starter 
JJ ~ hug.gif I know you say you didn't have any indication of the teeth coming but could all the sleep issues be related? Dylan got his 4th molar on the 25th. That one surprised me. He's got 12 teeth now!
Quote:
Originally Posted by onetwoten View Post

MW- is it possible that he doesn't want to ask, for fear of rejection? It can be hard when the relationship is rocky. If he's already feeling like you don't like him (which lets face it, seems to be the case much of the time!), perhaps he doesn't want to feel any worse by starting something and being shut down?

i know. I don't sound like the most inviting person when I post here. The thing is that I have made many moves, hints, statements about dtd. I have been very open and up front about things with him. I have told him that I would appreciate a little attention. I have said that ignoring me all week, sitting across the room and not even acknowledging my presence and then giving me a card or saying, "If you'd touch me, maybe I wouldn't touch myself," isn't going to work. Pay attention to me. Sit next to me. Hold my hand. Put your arm around. Touch me. Kiss me. He doesn't need to ask or do any talking about it at all. If he would start touching me while we are in bed, I'd be all over it. I don't like the talking and I've told him that. He used to be pretty good about all of that but not any more. I don't know what his deal is. Stop talking about it and just do it, kwim? I don't know what else I can do short of doing it myself and that's the one thing I'm over. If I want to do it, I have to start and if he wants to do it, I have to start it? That's not fair. I'm thinking more and more that it's an age or ptsd thing, maybe both.

Yeah, all this ewcf is starting to bug me. It's not questionable, either. It's very obvious. Good thing we seem to be abstaining. lol.gif
post #258 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

JJ ~ hug.gif I know you say you didn't have any indication of the teeth coming but could all the sleep issues be related? Dylan got his 4th molar on the 25th. That one surprised me. He's got 12 teeth now!
I have told him that I would appreciate a little attention. I have said that ignoring me all week, sitting across the room and not even acknowledging my presence and then giving me a card or saying, "If you'd touch me, maybe I wouldn't touch myself," isn't going to work. Pay attention to me. Sit next to me. Hold my hand. Put your arm around. Touch me. Kiss me. He doesn't need to ask or do any talking about it at all. If he would start touching me while we are in bed, I'd be all over it. 

The thing is the sleep thing has been constant- like if it were due to the teeth, I would have thought it would ebb and flow- but really she's never had a significant period of 'good sleep', you know? She's had a night here and there that I've noticed -are- worse, and I'm sure it's due to teeth, and that's ok, but it doesn't help the night to night sleep, you know? Like I expect bad nights here and there, but not all of them! lol

 

I get that. I had a bit of a flip out at DH the other night, that I wish he would do loving things sometimes when he didn't expect sex in return. Like, I'd be in the mood more often if he would rub my back or my feet, or cuddle with me, etc etc, at times when there wasn't the expectation of something happening afterwards. The only time I get a backrub is if I've pretty much committed to sex already. Kinda sucks! Boys forget that mostly our bodies need to be primed really really well before jumping in- and a lot of this is in non-sexual things! 

post #259 of 287

Someone posted a pic of a baby in a onesie that read, " all mom wanted was a backrub" I LMAO - too cute, but I couldn't put my own baby in it!

 

DH used to never initiate. Ever. And my attempts at subtle went over his head. Shoot, sometimes my obvious attempts (like foreplay) even led to sleep, not sex. Something changed though after Norah was born. I don't know if it's just some of the weight DH has been losing, or just a mind shift, but for the first time in 7 years, he's really been more aggressive about his needs. I love it. It's so nice to be unambiguous. I just hope it keeps up after baby #3 arrives! LOL

 

JJ: I think some babies just have a hard time with sleep. It's wired - some are great sleepers and some aren't. I wish there was an easy fix (other than the FB friends' fave: put baby in crib, shut door, and let cry) and that's not easy, nor is it a fix. Sooner or later, Ten will get the hang of it. I hope some of the roughness passes.

 

Norah is down to just nursing at night, and she wants to nurse all night long the last couple nights. ugh. I hope it passes. I'd be tempted to wean her altogether if I thought it would work - she wont accept DH as a substitue and I got no other tricks up my sleeve.

 

It seems as if they keep moving the 2nd trimester start date. It used to be 12 weeks, then 13 weeks, now it appears that now my 13th week is the last week of the first trimester, and 14 is the start of the second. Whatever. I am ready for that energy burst! (never happened with the other 2, but maybe I will get lucky this time!)

post #260 of 287
Thread Starter 
Haha! I've seen that onesie. But, yeah, doesn't fit our situation since I wanted a LOT more than a back rub those times. lol.gif

I'm not even really talking about the back rub thing with no expectations of sex. Talking about sex really turns me off. I don't know why. It just seems icky to me. Kind of like, I don't want to hear about it, just hurry up and do it. KWIM? So, rather than staying stupid or gross or perverted things to me during the day that are just going to annoy me, roll over in bed at night and just start things. And, if you aren't going to pay attention to me in other ways during the day, don't expect me to initiate things once we're in bed. I'm tired of having all the responsibility for anything actually happening.

I guess that's probably not completely fair to dh since that's how it's always been. Not cool for me to change the rules on him in the middle of the game. But, again, it's not like I haven't talked to him about it, too. He uses the kids as an excuse. Either they are always around during the day so he can't talk to me about it (so don't talk. sit next to me on the couch and put your arm around me). Also, talk to me about anything. It doesn't have to be sex (see above winky.gif). Normal, regular conversations go a long way. Or, he says they outlast him at night. Then make an effort to get them in bed and asleep before you are ready to crash.

Kat ~ I remember that about the trimesters. That's because 1/3 of 40 is a little more than 13.

Nora has stopped nursing during the day completely? Does she still get mama milk in a bottle or are you done with that, too?

JJ ~ Yeah, some babies just don't sleep well.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › August 2012 Rockstar Mamas