or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › August 2012 Rockstar Mamas
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

August 2012 Rockstar Mamas - Page 4

post #61 of 287

I don't worry about what I post on fb making people feel guilty or bad - I meant more as in person. It's just a topic I don't bring up - I have alot of friends, or rather people I know, that circ their boys for whatever reason. And same with vax's. I don't bring that up unless someone asks. There are lots of other things to talk about.

 

I am tired today, and unmotivated. Can I blame it on the rain?

post #62 of 287
Thread Starter 
Oh, I don't think I've ever gotten into a conversation with someone IRL about circumcision. If someone asks or brings it up, I'll certainly voice my opinion but that's never happened. I do have some intact shirts that Dylan wears in public as well as my breastfeeding and homebirth shirts. I have had convos about vaxes because it has come up but, again, I don't bring it up myself. I've never had anyone IRL give me a hard time about that, either (except docs).

Kat ~ I just saw that SC allows the retail sale of raw milk. I'm beginning to think that dh and I should retire to SC since I no longer what to retire to the Outer Banks.
post #63 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

I get that - I have a friend that chose to circ her son at birth bc family members have had to circ their sons later - around age 4 - and the surgery seems to be a bigger deal at that age - due to health reasons. I don't know enough about the family's health conditions that warranted the circ. She said she chose to do it at birth to avoid needing to do it later. To me, that's like saying, lets go ahead and take out your baby's appendix at birth bc it's not needed, and lets try to avoid scary appendicitiis. But, this is a mom who I like, and believe she thinks she's making the best decision for her son.  I don't feel the need to make her feel bad or guilty about something she can't change.

Yeah, I would say this falls more under not being well informed. shrug.gif 

The people that really bug me are the ones who actually DO research it, know all the facts, and still do it. It just doesn't make sense. 


Obviously doing it because your husband is pressuring you is a whole other story and I think I would feel differently on a case by case basis. 
My husband is not very happy about the thought of leaving a future son intact, but during a conversation the other day I said no one would ever cut my son. 

 

He said "why do you get to make the decision" I retorted that "he wouldn't hurt his son just like he didn't hurt his daughters." He started laughing and saying I was a pain in the butt. 
Once you are around common sense for a little while, it just can't help but rub off!! LOL

 

MW - I get into arguments about circumcision all.the.time. I don't really know how! ha ha ha

post #64 of 287
We do have some awesome raw milk here smile.gif

My brain is frozen. LOL!

I never thought I would end up in SC. Here I am though.
post #65 of 287
Thread Starter 
Oh, annie, how were you pronouncing Dylan's name?

I went to college in SC and loved it for the most part.
post #66 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

Oh, annie, how were you pronouncing Dylan's name?
I went to college in SC and loved it for the most part.

 

Like "Dye-Lan" lol.gif I'm such a dork sometimes. The really funny thing is that when I was working there was a server named Dylan and I pronounced it Dye-lan and they were cracking up.

You would have thought I would have made the connection then, instead of randomly just now. 


It was when I was looking through your pictures, it just hit me.

post #67 of 287
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by annie2186 View Post

Like "Dye-Lan" lol.gif  I'm such a dork sometimes. The really funny thing is that when I was working there was a server named Dylan and I pronounced it Dye-lan and they were cracking up.
You would have thought I would have made the connection then, instead of randomly just now. 


It was when I was looking through your pictures, it just hit me.

lol.gif

Yeah, it's pronounced like Bob Dylan. Don't feel bad. Sean actually spelled it wrong when we were at my mother's. He was writing all the boys' names on the sidewalk with chalk. I went out and saw, "Dillon". WTH?! My FIL can't seem to get it right, either. eyesroll.gif
post #68 of 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

I get that - I have a friend that chose to circ her son at birth bc family members have had to circ their sons later - around age 4 - and the surgery seems to be a bigger deal at that age - due to health reasons. I don't know enough about the family's health conditions that warranted the circ. She said she chose to do it at birth to avoid needing to do it later. To me, that's like saying, lets go ahead and take out your baby's appendix at birth bc it's not needed, and lets try to avoid scary appendicitiis. But, this is a mom who I like, and believe she thinks she's making the best decision for her son.  I don't feel the need to make her feel bad or guilty about something she can't change.

 

Oh wow, no I would never say anything to make anyone feel guilty for what is already done.  I'm with you there.  I've never been brave enough (or naive enough, I guess) to ask any of my mama friends who circ'd why they chose to do it.  I think I'd get too upset at the answer and not be able to keep that to myself.  

 

Most of what I share or talk about is with moms who haven't decided either way, or on FB with grumpy old men who feel defensive b/c they like their penis and don't remember being circ'd and of course they can't understand why anyone would ever choose different.  eyesroll.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by annie2186 View Post


The people that really bug me are the ones who actually DO research it, know all the facts, and still do it. It just doesn't make sense. 


Obviously doing it because your husband is pressuring you is a whole other story and I think I would feel differently on a case by case basis. 
My husband is not very happy about the thought of leaving a future son intact, but during a conversation the other day I said no one would ever cut my son. 

 

This is how I feel about CIO.  

 

Funny, my DH is circ'd but is vehemently opposed to and outspoken about RIC.  His wasn't botched by any means but he does have issues with the scar and wishes his mother hadn't made that choice for him.  Of course, I have no issues with him or his penis, but he's self conscious about it.  It's rare I think to have a hubs who is more anti-RIC than anything else.  Most of my mama friends are the ones who convince their partners.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post


lol.gif
Yeah, it's pronounced like Bob Dylan. Don't feel bad. Sean actually spelled it wrong when we were at my mother's. He was writing all the boys' names on the sidewalk with chalk. I went out and saw, "Dillon". WTH?! My FIL can't seem to get it right, either. eyesroll.gif

 

OmG!  That's too funny!

 

Went outlet shopping today!  Kids are set with fall clothes and I even got a new coach wristlet!  It was a good but LONG day out.  Left at 11 and didn't get home til 630, and we hit traffic and Finn screamed for at least 10-15 min of the ride home.  I mean, writing it out doesn't seem that bad, but he was hysterical.  Poor baby.  When we got home I raced to him and scooped him up and omg he HUGGED me so hard and looked around like "where werrrrreee yyooouuuu!?"  Broke my heart.  Sigh.

post #69 of 287

It would never have occured to me to pronounce it Dye-lan. (I need to work on saying it correctly in my head now, LOL)

 

The only reason circ came up with this mama, is that there was drama over RIC,and religious infant circ, in our local AP group, and she told me about her nephews. I was just like huh. Ok. Because really, it's done, no use rehashing about what might have been done to save her nephew's foreskin. (I think sometimes it's kind of like hysterectomies. Instead of really trying to fix what's wrong - heavy periods, fibroids, whatever, docs just say, lets just take that out. You're done having babies anyway)

 

Love long days out! We do a lot of those. Thankfully, Norah likes to sleep in the car. How sweet was that hug?

 

My DH is also really opposed to RIC. at first, when we started thinking about that with Gabe, we were on the fence. But it was the more we researched it, the more against it we became. Especially DH, I think, because the loss affects him more personally. He had a plastibell circ, which his mom insists was painless, but who is she to know? (seriously, she can't feel his pain)

 

Work, work work . . .

post #70 of 287
Thread Starter 
I can't seem to "hear" how Dye-lan would sound, either. lol.gif

I don't think my dh cares much one way or the other about circ, like most everything with him. There are very few things he has strong opinions about. Sometimes I get mad at him for seeming to not care. He has gotten more opinionated as the years have gone. Not sure if that's just age or if I'm rubbing off on him. The problem is that, most times, his strong opinions end up being the opposite of mine. Then I want him to go back to not caring. lol.gif

He brought up some concerns about unschooling the other day, which really surprised me. He's always talking up unschooling to friends and co-workers. He says he's worried about Algebra and college, of all things. He's worried that the boys will need more formal educating for those things. He wasn't pushing me to start doing anything like that, though, thank goodness. It would not happen. I'm still trying to finish Ethan's end of the year test. bag.gif Maybe I'll get it done before this next school year officially starts.

I got the cutest pic of Kellen with his new girlfriend yesterday. I'll share it as soon as I can. My laptop is with Geek Squad. They say it can't be saved. I'm trying to decide if I want to pay $150 to have 2 months worth of photos saved. I hate to lose those photos but that just seems like a lot of money. Plus, I probably have most of those photos on Ravelry or Facebook so it's not like they'd be completely lost. Anyway, I can't seem to load any of my pics on this desktop that I'm using. It won't read anything from my card reader and keeps telling me over and over that I need to install drivers for my phone even though I've done it 3 times.

Kellen is sick. All of a sudden at bedtime last night he had a fever. It's strange because he was running around happy and playing up until he climbed into bed. Then he said he had a headache and told me he was hot. I asked Sean to feel if he was hot and he said, "No." I went over to feel him and he was burning up. IDK how Sean didn't feel it. Ethan felt the heat, too. That happens with Kellen a lot. He'll be fine one minute and the next he has a fever. Strange.

Oh, and my freakin' cat has ringworm! I just spent another $110 on him at the vet yesterday to get some miconazole lotion. I could have saved that and spent a few bucks on some Monistat at the drug store. eyesroll.gif And, it's not even really my cat. It's supposed to be Ryan's cat but he doesn't have the money to pay for any of this.
post #71 of 287

Do any of your kids want to go to college? I have come to the conculsion that college is way over-rated. If the kids want to go, great, but if not, that's really ok too. I am still not sure where we will end up on the home-unschooling spectrum. I do know I am very picky abour curricula though. It's something I will need to give more thought to in the next couple years. *sigh*

 

Poor kitty! and :( for your wallet too. Ouch!

 

Hope Kellen feels better soon.

post #72 of 287
Thread Starter 
Well, they are only 8, 5 and 1. I think it's a bit silly to be worrying about that yet. If they do want to go to college, what they learn and how they learn it won't really matter until they are high school age. Only one is even school age at all. Sean's response to that was the old, "But everything builds on everything else so they will need the basic foundations to do the more advanced stuff." I'm not totally convinced of that . I think that, if you really want to learn something, you'll do it regardless of age or prior knowledge or experience. I think that's what we've been conditioned to believe by those in charge of the current educational system. They've done a pretty good job of convincing the masses that we need people with specialized training, teachers, to teach our children certain things or else those children will be failures. It's just not true but it makes the teachers jobs more secure. I could go on and on.

At any rate, Ethan has learned to read and do addition and subtraction and even multiplication and division without instruction. While taking his test this year he said he should be going into 4th grade because the test is so easy. I don't keep track of grades except when doing these tests.

Sean said he's worried they won't have as many opportunities and used Ryan as an example. Well, um, Ryan did have a formal education. He attended public school. So...if anything, he's an example of how that doesn't work, or at least isn't a guarantee of college or more opportunities or whatever you might be worried about. Also, he can still go to college at any time if he chooses and there are many ways to get there. I think it doesn't concern me as much because I didn't follow the traditional route. I did graduate from high school, barely, but I pissed around and worked and took classes at various community colleges here and there for years before I finally decided to go to a 4 year university full time. And now I'm not even using that degree for a career but I'm still paying my student loans (or Sean is, actually). Not that I regret getting my degree. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be where I am today.
post #73 of 287

Everything does build on everything else  - but when and how you add each block is up to parental/teacher/whomever discretion. You need to know how to add, subtract, and multiply, how fractions work, etc before working on Algebra. Algebra would be a lot harder if you had to learn all those concepts at once. Reading is easier if you stick to basics first, like Dr. Seuss before jumping into Shakespeare and Dickens. People can and have learned how to read from the harder things, but it's probably easier going if you start simple.

 

I agree that you don't need formal instruction to learn these things. But I do think think some people benefit from more structured learning than others. Some people are great independent learners. I would love for our children to become independent learners, but I think they need some help getting there - teaching them how to find answers and think critically and research. I don't think the public school system does that, and that's one of my big issues with it.

 

The list of things kids "need" to know before kindergarten? I think those are ridiculous. Why do they need to know those things? What if they don't? They aren't stupid or lazy, maybe they just didn't have the opportunity or interest in learning those things.

 

I never finished my 4 year degree. yet I have a good job, and all the school I did attend helps me in it. On one hand, I'd love to finish my degree, just to finish it, but there really is no point, it wouldn't help me advance in my job or get a better one, unless I chose something that required it, like nursing. 

 

In other news - 10 weeks pregnant today! only 30 (or knowing me, 32) weeks to go!

post #74 of 287
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

Algebra would be a lot harder if you had to learn all those concepts at once. Reading is easier if you stick to basics first, like Dr. Seuss before jumping into Shakespeare and Dickens. People can and have learned how to read from the harder things, but it's probably easier going if you start simple.

Maybe but I don't know for sure and I don't know that anyone who has only followed and been around other people who have followed the current educational system of teaching can know for sure. You have actually made the point that none of that stuff is necessary with these statements. It might be easier but it's not necessary. And, honestly, with Algebra, you don't actually need to know anything about numbers to get the concepts. That's the point of Algebra. The numbers don't matter. It's all about how to use universal formulas.

I'm not sure what you mean by sticking to basics of reading before moving on to harder stuff but I have read that is not necessarily true for unschoolers. Ethan, for example, didn't master reading basics before he just started reading. He can now read almost everything that he comes across, signs, newspapers, websites, books, magazines. I am surprised almost daily at how well he can read and do all kinds of math without even thinking about it.

Like a lot of unschoolers say, most kids are ready to read at just about the time that they are supposedly taught to read in school. The educators have set it up that way because they understand that. But they don't share that with the general public so that they can take credit for something that the child would most likely have done on his own at around the same time anyway.

Unschooling or being an independent learner does not mean that the child is left to do everything alone without any help or support or facilitation. By the time an unschooler is a teenager he will most likely be pretty good and knowing the best way for him to learn. It may include formal instruction with textbooks and teachers. If so, the parent may provide that or the teen may decide to take classes.
post #75 of 287

Algebra is about formulas, but formulas that include addition, subtraction, multiplication, and fractions - basic math functions. Why make something harder? especially since it's the basic math skills that people use all the time, not algebraic formulas.

 

As for reading - the old KJV bible was the basis for lots of people to read for a long, long time. Mostly because it was the most available thing to read. So obviously a person CAN learn to read based on that (or tougher material) but is it the best thing to start reading - just whatever is availaible? I honestly don't know. I don't think so.  I do think focusing on concepts is important, so those can be applied up the food chain, as it were, as you learn more and more things. It depends on what you consider reading basics. I don't remember learning how to read. I don't think anyone really taught me. My mother said I just came home from preschool one day reading. Now, I do remember learning to spell and sound harder words out like in 1st grade or so. I think that's one of my difficulties with the idea of teaching reading - what is a basic concept when it comes to reading? the alphabet? the letters and what sounds they make? Where do you separate that bit from spelling, grammar, and writing?

 

Just thinking out loud - because your unschooling talk does make me think.

 

I remember trying to tutor someone in reading when I was in high school, and I sucked at it, because I had no clue how to help him learn to read. Math - now math, I can tutor in quite well. I actually kind of miss doing more challenging math. But there really isn't a need for it in my daily life or work. And who does that kind of stuff for fun?

post #76 of 287
Thread Starter 
I don't see how not using a math textbook and forcing someone to do repetitive math lessons would make Algebra harder. As I said, Ethan is learning basic math concepts without any teaching, just through living a normal life. I was worried that he wouldn't know how to do the tests because they are written in basic math problem formats, which he had never really done. He had no problems whatsoever. He got it all and says it's too easy. The same with the reading comprehension. The first time he took a test I was fully ready to read everything to him but I only had to read a few words. He could read almost everything on the test himself. I was shocked!

It's really amazing to witness how much children learn without fear or anxiety or negativity if you can sit back and just let it happen.

Algebra only includes those numbers when you add them in, though. The numbers aren't necessary for understanding the concepts. Also, when does anyone who is not in a mathematics heavy job use Algebra in every day life? No one that I know of. It's not necessary for graduating from high school or even going to college. Not doing it may limit what you can study in college but if you aren't interested in it and don't need it for whatever you want to do, why study it?
post #77 of 287

Alysia - what are your thoughts on illiteracy?  Obviously those people were never encouraged to read and didn't pick up those skills on their own.  I'm sure you at least somehow encourage reading and read to your kids, right?

 

I don't really read to my kids.  hide.gif  At least, I read bedtime stories, but that's really to Nora.  I can't sit with a baby on my lap and read children's books.  I just can't.  I feel stupid and I get frustrated when they rip at the pages and try to eat the book.

 

This talk makes me think too!  I love it.  You guys all make me think outside the box.

 

I got my new dipes today!  I did a small load of diapers just so I could get it prepped and into rotation!  I got the grovia owls shell and stay dry inserts.  I can't wait to see how well they work!

 

Chris comes home tonight!  

post #78 of 287
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

Alysia - what are your thoughts on illiteracy?  Obviously those people were never encouraged to read and didn't pick up those skills on their own.  I'm sure you at least somehow encourage reading and read to your kids, right?

I do read to my kids from the time they are babies, although I have read less with each one as they've been added. I use picture board books with babies. We have lots of books around. Honestly, though, I think Ethan learned to read more from playing video games. That's also how he's learning to spell. He wants to know how to spell words for games and toys and movies and such that he's searching for on the internet or in the games he plays.

I don't really know what's going on with illiteracy. I don't understand how that can happen. I'm sure there are some people who just can't read or can't read well no matter what. Their brains don't function properly.

i've got a crying baby and 5 year old! dizzy.gif
post #79 of 287

Holy hell! I'm so sorry that any of you had to interact with my idiot uncle. Apparently my mom got in to it over FB chat last night and he said I was "disrespectful" to him and then he unfriended both my mom and I. Whatevs...He probably won't speak to me ever again because that's how he is. The interesting thing that came out of that interaction though was my mom telling me that my dad is uncirced. Apparently, he had some birth trauma (not sure of the whole issue) that resulted in him needing a blood transfusion and the dr wouldn't perform a circ. The really funny thing is that my uncle has known my dad practically his whole life and is still friends with him...guess he's never seen my dad's penis! ROTFLMAO.gif

 

MW, that CDC data is all kinds of messed up. It's based on studies done with adult men in subsaharan Africa. To me, comparing risk sets of newborn male babies born in the US with adult men in Africa is not good science. At any rate, I'm not sorry I posted it. I'm just sorry you guys were subjected to his lunacy.

 

Unschooling/homeschooling...I'm back and forth on this topic. I did a bit of research the other day in to what my county needs to know/see if you plan to homeschool. The hoops to jump through were almost enough for me to just say I'd send them to traditional school! I'll reassess as we get closer to DD being ready for school.

 

AFM, DD is getting her teeth in the wrong order! She skipped over to 1st molars! One has broken through and I think I felt the other one today. Hopefully I'll get a break now. But probably not. One of the ladies in the MDC July 11 FB group posted a link to an Etsy shop that was doing a sale on their amber. So I ordered a necklace for Ava. With shipping it came out to under $10. Not sure what I'm going to end up w/but for $10, I figured I would give it a shot. Maybe it will help some. I think I'm going to put the fourth side on her crib tomorrow but keep the mattress elevated. She keeps wanting to get in her crib and like flop around and explore all the little areas. When I try to walk around with her to get her to sleep the last couple of days, she keeps pointing to her crib. So I'm going to try putting her in there and letting her play around and see if she puts herself to sleep. If it makes nighttime harder, I'm taking the side back off.
 

post #80 of 287
Thread Starter 
Annie ~ That's funny about your dad and uncle. I didn't follow that thread after my 2nd post so I didn't see if anyone got very upset. Is your Uncle the Barnyard Bully person? And, yeah, ITA about that research on circ and AIDS. That's why I didn't post that link. It was really driving me crazy that that was up on the CDC website and that none of the other medical websites I found had any strong statements against circ. I did find a site from Australia that was pretty good but by then I didn't feel like arguing about it anymore. After a while there's only so much info you can give people before deciding they just aren't going to change their minds.

The hoops in VA aren't that hard. I've been looking into it because that's most likely where we'll end up next. It's not county laws. It's state laws. So, if your county has rules or regs or recommendations in addition to the state laws, you do not have to follow them. For VA, all you have to do is submit a curriculum to the superintendent of your school district and either do a standardize test, have a certified teacher evaluate your kids or provide a portfolio of work. I would not do the certified teacher thing unless it's a friend who you know will basically just sign off on your kids. Teachers can get pretty bent out of shape about what kids should be doing and when and if they are up to standards. As far as the curriculum, it doesn't have to be more than a list of subjects you intend to cover. The hardest part of that with unschooling is paring the list down to something reasonable. You can get in trouble for appearing to be a major overachiever. lol.gif I figure our list would be math, reading, spelling, grammar, history and science. That's it.

And, as I've said, the tests are easy. I was upset about having to give them at first but now I think it's probably the easiest and less invasive. If you are a collector and organizer, a portfolio might not be difficult. A portfolio might be tricky if you unschool but maybe not. If you get out a lot and do a lot of things, it can contain brochures and photos and what not of your excursions.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › August 2012 Rockstar Mamas