I would like to see this tread go back to how it started, honesty, openness, helping others find better ways to discipline.... I hung through and read it all, although some of the annoying back and forth arguing I skipped. I hung here because I wanted to post my own, but now I feel less interested in it, because of the nasty tone this thread has developed... But I'll try.
I have my own question, slightly different...
I am totally against spanking and I have never used it as a form of discipline, but I have slapped my older child two or three times in a totally impulsive way, where I had no time to think before I did it! It was not discipline, and I never told my child that I did it because you were bad, or because I love you and I have to... I was terrified by what I did and apologized my child, I wanted to make sure right away that what mommy did was totally wrong and I hope he can forgive me. It was horrible thing to hear a little boy crying and saying, it sure isn't easy to forgive. I hugged and hugged and I would beg for forgiveness and beg for God to make sure he wont remember it when he grows up.
Unfortunately it happened again. Another super tired night, putting kids to sleep alone as always, them testing your patience, then getting a kick in the face from the kid (he did it by accident although as a result of acting out) and totally impulsively I slap back!! it's horrible to see yourself repeat something you are so against.
So I don't need help to find other ways to discipline, because I have my other ways that work well, my kids are not bad at all, they have their freedoms, they know when I'm serious, and they respect me without being afraid of me. Thank goodness the few times I have slapped have not caused them to be afraid of me, or mistrusting of me. I think I have made it clear that I am so sorry. But I still worry about the emotional harm that can do!! I sure would not want anyone in the world hitting my son, and I don't want him to accept it from anyone. So how do I stop myself next time?
The advice to walk away when you are angry etc I use aready. When I loose my temper, get mad about something, it's easy for me to breathe in and change the tone, and go on with a more constructive way. But the times I have slapped have been soo fast, I haven't had time to make a better choice!
I'm guessing I should do something in advance.... Advices have come up to the OP that I could use for myself and might help, like take care of myself and make sure I'm not too stressed and tired and taking it out on my kids. I'm not a single mom, but my husband works around the clock, so in my everyday life I am... I just don't have to also financially support our life.
I hope reading this long threat has maybe helped me... maybe unconsciously I have approved a slap and that is why it has come out. Maybe a deep thinking process to prepare myself for the next super stressed day, or chanting "I do not hit" as if I was a 2 year old.... maybe I need that, or do I need a psychiatrist before my child is emotionally scarred from my impulses?