Suggestions/ideas on posters ???

[Jarynsmom2006]

I would like to try the "poster idea" with my 6yo. He is at a stage where he doesn't like to listen all the time and talks back some, and WHINES  !!!! Omg I can't stand the whining , it makes me so anxious and I seriously just want to run out the door sometimes. I figure maybe making a poster will help with him doing things he's asked to do. I also need suggestions on how to stop the whining ! When he's told no or basically just doesn't like the answer he's given he whines ... ugh ! Any suggestions, websites etc will be appreciated :)

[mary934]

I like using posters, schedules and list which we as a family together make to help us be more organized . It is the list telling us what to do , not me. This also helps the kid to identify with the value and the caring behind any activity as we are working together , their perspectives and concerns are important. Whining is a behavior , we want to solve the actual problem underlying the behavior . So out of the moment we can do some CPS - collaborative problem solving  - see http://livesinthebalance.org 

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Originally Posted by Jarynsmom2006 

I would like to try the "poster idea" with my 6yo. He is at a stage where he doesn't like to listen all the time and talks back some, and WHINES  !!!! Omg I can't stand the whining , it makes me so anxious and I seriously just want to run out the door sometimes. I figure maybe making a poster will help with him doing things he's asked to do. I also need suggestions on how to stop the whining ! When he's told no or basically just doesn't like the answer he's given he whines ... ugh ! Any suggestions, websites etc will be appreciated :)

I, unfortunately, have some experience with whining.   Speaking only for myself here, I find that my DC whines more when I have been a bit wishy-washy about what is allowed and what isn't. Because of that my first line of defense against whining is to fix myself. I get clear on how I'm communicating - am I saying "no" abruptly and then allowing my mind to be changed without much thought, am I being unpredictable, am I speaking in an unpleasant tone, and etc. I get that fixed and I also take some time to be sure my child is getting enough sleep, good food, routine...and is generally having a life with a good balance. At that point I would begin talking to DC about the whining. I'd tell them the steps I've taken to reduce it. From there I use the "eyes". You know, that mom "look" that says, "You KNOW we talked about this."

Other creative ideas are to be thoughtful about your answers and consider reasonable reconsiderations if your DS talks to you in a way that you like. This is hard for my DC. It tend to have to give her a number of reconsiders she's allowed or else I feel like she's constantly asking. But, when it works it WORKS and it's really nice to hear your child politely and thoughftully ask you to reconsider something. Also consider pointing out a good day and how much nicer things are when you both speak nicely to each other. 

Sorry, no experience with the poster...but it sounds interesting! Good luck, Mama...