DH and I need to update our wills, and are struggling with who will take care of our children. DS is 6 and is very math/science gifted. DD is 3 and is special needs, with major medical issues. Money issues aside (we have trusts set up with responsible financial conservators, who will not be care givers) her is the situation. We are protestant christians, who do delayed vax, gentle discipline, and never overschedule (very much let your kids be kids). We are blessed with a lot of family, but no perfect choices. Our options are:
Paternal GPs - live 5 min away, zoned to same school, OK to take care of DD, go to same church, but think we are crazy for not spanking. They are retired, so have a flex. schedule, but are in their 60s, so might not be a perm solution.
SIL - live 10 min away, zoned to same school, have son same age as DS, go to same church, but spank. Both work, and neither are trained to take care of DD.
Older Sis - lives 25 min away, can take care of DD, have 3 older kids (15yrs-8yrs), Gentle DS, sis teaches special ed, but do not attend any church or espouse any religious beliefs.
Younger sis - lives 2 hours away, crunchier than me, due w/ baby #1 in Dec, not trained to deal w/DD, but would pick it up quickly, but she and BIL are Jewish.
So essentially, I have 2 siblings with great parenting skills and similar styles, but different religious beliefs, and in-laws with the same religious beliefs, but vastly different parenting styles.
I am looking for a set of fresh eyes, what do you think?