OhLord-y, a scissors issue, wwyd?

[dauphinette]

Ok, so my sweetie pea of a little girl is all around a very well behaved child, 4 years old has proved to be the golden age, I'm sure more experienced moms are not surprised by this as I have heard it said to be true here on Mothering before.

Anyway, she doesn't get into a lot of trouble, she has learned how to entertain herself pretty well this summer, she is listening a lot better and she is seriously sweet as honey.

All this to say she does seem to have one little vice.

An attraction to scissors has seemed to blossom around these parts and I don't know how to approach it.  I have approached it, for sure, but I definitely feel like I could be approaching it better.

So it started with an admission that she had found some scissors laying around and tried to use them to cut a hole in one of my dresses that was folded on a laundry pile.  She pretty much tried to cut the dress, failed at manipulating the scissors well enough to actually cut the dress then I guess knew it was naughty and came to tell me right away, or that's how it seemed.  I have to admit I don't remember it super clearly but I do remember telling her that, "it was naughty and kind of a mean thing to do to Mommy and how would she like it if I got one of her dresses and cut a hole in that?"  She did start to cry and I know she felt bad but mostly about the idea that I might do it to one of her things.

Then the next time rolls around.  This time she has climbed on a chair to get the scissors (because I had made a new rule that she could no longer use scissors and that scissors were to be kept out of her reach all together) down from their higher home and has used them to clip a chunk out of the cats fur!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Luckily no real harm to the Kitty, but still!  I was pretty darn heated because she could have seriously hurt the cat.  I gave dd a time out and a stern talking to about the dangers of scissors and blah blah blah.

So this time.

She walks up to my bed tonight already crying because she knows she has done somethin' naughty and holds out her toothbrush in front of her and says, "I'm soooooooorrrrrry Mommmmmmy!!!!!"  and it appears that she has cut the rubbery suction cup off the end of her child's toothbrush (the suction cup made it able to stand up on the sink...you get the idea), I must have left the scissors out last night after trimming her hair, which is obviously my bad, and she couldn't stand the taboo temptation and SNIP!  had to get that satisfying feeling of cutting something. 

The funny thing is she actually wasn't crying about disappointing mommy or knowing she would get in trouble, but as she told me a few minutes later, she was crying because she didn't think this thing out and was now very sad that her suction toothbrush would no longer be able to stand up on the sink.

Geez, this is all to deep for me.

Am I making the cutting even more tempting by making it all off limits?  She starts school in like 2 weeks, where is this cutting thing going to go then? 

What would you do?

SOrry this is SO long!!!!!

[gini1313]

Well, she obviously wants to cut.  Instead of talking about "naughty" and what she CAN'T do, I would talk about what she CAN do.  What is it ok to cut?  I have never had scissors off limits to my kids (now 9, 5, and 2) and it has always been ok.  My kids have been cutting independently by about 3, I think, and as soon as they have been safe with kids scissors, they have learned to use regular scissors.  The kids scissors are kept on the craft shelves and the regular ones are on the kitchen counter.

Have you talked with her about why she is cutting things?  Maybe she is curious to see what she can cut with scissors.  One project we did was to gather a bunch of stuff (paper, rocks, coins, plastic, fabric, etc) and to see what we could cut with scissors.  Maybe she likes how it feels (or sounds or looks) to cut different materials.  Or maybe she just wants to do it because she isn't supposed to.

I would talk to her about how she feels now that her toothbrush is cut up and doesn't work the way she wants to, then I would redirect her to cutting more appropriate things.  You two could collect ok stuff to cut and fill up a cutting basket with paper, yarn, wool, cloth, etc, and keep the scissors available for her to cut appropriate things.  I would do more cutting crafts.  You could start teaching her to sew and she could cut fabric pieces to sew together.  I would definitely take the naughty out of cutting and give her more access to it.  But, don't replace things she cuts (like the toothbrush).  My daughter cut a hole in a new shirt I bought her (from france, no less) when she was 2.  I said, "why did you do that?"  she said, "I don't know."  I said, "Well, I guess you have a hole in your new shirt."  That was it.  No naughty, no disappointing mommy...  just a hole in her shirt.  I left it in her drawer and she kept wearing it.  I am assuming that she didn't like having a hole in her new shirt, though, because she never cut another article of clothing.

I find the bigger of a deal I make out of something, the longer it continues.  Good luck, mama!!!

[lexapurple]

Why don't you provide her with safe things to cut and a time to do it? Give her curiosity an outlet

Cutting in itself is not bad. There things that can be cut -like paper and fabric mommy gives you, and some things are not like clothes and cat fur.

[tbone_kneegrabber]

I would get a bunch of scissors, straight kid scissors, scissors that cut in patterns etc, and a whole bunch of catalogs and some glue sticks and let her go nuts with cutting and gluing.

If it seems that she doesn't have a good sense of 'ok to cut' and 'not ok to cut' sit with her while she cuts.

Ds has been using scissors since he was probably 2 or so. So far no inappropriate cutting. I do keep my good sharp fabric scissors where he can't get them, but he has free access to other scissors.

He has excellent 'scissor skills' and can cut pretty intricate things because he has had so much practice.

[Linda on the move]

Yarn. The kid needs some yarn. And construction paper. And glue.

[mumkimum]

I don't know that making it off limits is either good or bad -- we've had similar instances with both good things to cut and not-so-good cutting choices.  I've set out and made clear good things to cut, and we've had other stuff cut anyway. . .  I still have times when I say we need a break from scissors because something's gotten ruined.  (various toys, meaningful blankets, hair, sentimental art).  I *try* to make my rules simply that it isn't nice to make a mess (leaving cuttings of anything all over the floor), and certain things aren't always able to be repaired -- so it might be really good to ask first before using scissors on anything.  Just because something isn't special to you doesn't mean it might be for someone else.

I do express my disappointment, and how I might feel sad at something that isn't useful anymore, when that's actually been the case (as I think I would have about the dress in your case, OP).  It's fair to have feelings about things and share/express those, I try not to get real overwhelming and heavy handed with when that's the case but I do point out the feelings if they're there.

Yes - I do think having scissors with a bunch of paper/fabric scraps would be useful and might be fulfilling for her (and have it set aside where you bring it out together AND at least somewhat supervise its use.  But if this is exciting right now, it'll probably happen a bit more and the inappropriate scissor use will decline in a few years, probably.  We struggled quite a bit with things getting ruined every few months and its gone down now (she's 6 now, so that was a few years since around 3 with sometimes issues with scissors). 

[Imakcerka]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

Yarn. The kid needs some yarn. And construction paper. And glue.

AND GLITTER!!!!!!! 

[NiteNicole]

My daughter went through MONTHS at age four where she would spend hour after hour, day after day cutting things and gluing them to other things.  This is a really excellent use of catalogs that come in the mail, yarn and thread you're not going to use, scraps of fabric, etc.  Give her some scissors and a spot somewhere, and all kinds of scraps and just let her go. 

Now, if she scissors stray from the table or things besides her designated scraps are getting cut, call the whole thing off.  Pack it away and tell her you'll try again in a few weeks.  Four is old enough to control herself and she's had at least three warnings already. 
 

[meemee]

ah mama. you are LUCKY. she has not cut her hair. or should i add 'yet'.

mine did that at almost 4. so normal. 

she is curious about cutting. i would get her different textures to cut on and make it a science experiment. try to cut rocks, twigs, stone, water, lotion, mud rocks, etc.

at that age my dd was into 'mixing'. one say i saw her mixing my liquid makeup, lotion, and shampoo together to see what happens. 

so i went around the house and gave her permission of what to mix and where with what materials. the happy mixing continued without giving mommy any heart attacks. 

she is hitting the crafts stage. get her a lot of choices. including knitting and crochet and embroidery. she doesnt have to do it all. she has the choice to see waht she likes and doesnt. 

[One_Girl]

I agree with the other posters, she needs her own scissors and time to cut a few different mediums. Ziploc bags to keep the scraps in is also fun. If she wants to cut things I suggest substituting playdoh because it has a three dimensional form that is very satisfying.

[SweetSilver]

My girls cut paper dolls from clothing catalogs--Hanna Andersson and Chasing Fireflies are the favorites since they show the kids head to toe.  Since they started doing that, the need to cut anything and everything has ended.

Mostly.

I did have to put the scissors up from time to time.  Not "off limits", but more like a "scissor library" so I knew what they were cutting.  They liked having full access, so they were motivated to get better at self-control.

[seaheroine]

I try to get my 2yo and 4yo to repeat the mantra, "We cut paper, we cut paper!" LOL Luckily we haven't had too many drastic incidents of cut clothing and hair.  Several dolls and stuffed animals have lost their hair, but thankfully, it seems to be a one-time curiosity thing with them.

I do think it's normal, and keep the scissors with a huge box of paper, old magazines, etc.  I think having a creative outlet is the best solution...just spend a lot of time talking about what IS okay to cut, and what is NOT.

My girls really love those little Kumon cutting workbooks - they're pretty cheap on Amazon - cut out the pieces to glue together pictures.  4yo also likes to cut construction paper and wrapping ribbon, as well as the plants in the backyard - I think from watching me prune.  She could spend an hour trimming the bamboo, lol.
 

[SweetSilver]

Originally Posted by seaheroine 

I do think it's normal, and keep the scissors with a huge box of paper, old magazines, etc.  I think having a creative outlet is the best solution...just spend a lot of time talking about what IS okay to cut, and what is NOT.

 

We also have a "cut-up" box, with all kinds of stuff in there.  Gotta keep the scraps contained, though.... a "cut-into" box is also necessary.

[dogretro]

OMG, NO GLITTER! lol

My kiddos are 4 & 2 and both cut paper w/out supervision. The 2yrold actually taught herself how to use scissors b/c she didn't like me teaching her :p She cuts really well for her age, too! Her obsession w/ cutting every day lasted for a few weeks and then went away. They have unrestricted access to their own scissors and are not allowed to use the grown-up scissors, esp since some are kitchen scissors. They have both pinched their fingers w/ their scissors, so I was easily able to explain that if they did that w/ the grown up scissors, it would cut their skin and they would bleed. Well, they don't want that, so they don't bother the other scissors. We have had very serious talks about how cutting hair is NOT ALLOWED, although I totally expect it to happen eventually. DD1 did cut three small lines in one of her dresses one day and showed me. Like gini, I did not get mad, I pointed out that she now had holes in her dress, that it was not a very nice thing to do to her clothes, and that if she wanted to cut fabric to ask me to get her some of mine. She hasn't done it again & you cannot tell there are holes in the dress.

[mamazee]

You need those plastic scissors that can cut nothing but paper, and then paper to cut. Colored paper. And be more careful with other scissors. (Been there!)

[dauphinette]

Without fail, anytime I come to MDC I always get a dose of common sense and wonder why I didn't think of that!  Thanks so much for the insight and thoughtful responses, all the good ideas and advice will def. be employed :)

Knew I could count on this group!
 

[JudiAU]

Scissors, yes. Glitter, no. NO GLITTER!!!!!

We have scissors freely available in the art supplies and we've never had a real issue with it. Paper is the rule but we also make available other things like fabric and foam and cloth ribbon to cut. My three year old loves it. It does seem to freak other parents out though.

Also, did you know Magic Eraser will take off sharpie?

[gcgirl]

We got DS1 these: http://www.amazon.com/Maped-Kidikut-Scissors-Fiberglass-Assorted/dp/B001ALQY30/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1345660711&sr=8-2&keywords=kid+scissors+safe

and this: http://www.amazon.com/Paper-Kumon-First-Steps-Workbooks/dp/1933241144/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1345660755&sr=8-2&keywords=scissor+learning

Those scissors are amazing: they really only cut paper.

He started getting into scissors in a big way around 3.5, and he had a blast with this. Now, unfortunately, he's 4.5 and wants to use my kitchen shears. He'll climb up and get them down if I'm not looking. He's actually at an age where I kinda sorta could allow him to use sharper scissors (with supervision), except that I don't want my two-year-old using them.

[librarygirl]

As a children's librarian who does a lot of crafts with toddlers and preschoolers, I had to chime in here. Cutting is important! Kids need to know how to cut. I always announce "Okay, we're getting some scissor and glue practice today!" before handing them out (I also announce if we're practicing making letters, counting, writing, etc). I love handing toddlers the safety scissors and paper and seeing their parents cringe then take them away with a "let mommy do it". I always say, "Oh no, I gave them to J**** so she could practice. Remember, we're not expecting masterpieces. It's about the process, not the finished product!"

I have had parents look at me dumbfounded, including one father who told me his five year old hadn't ever used scissors because they didn't let her- it wasn't safe. I assured him they were safety scissors and she'd be fine. Same child who also couldn't glue (it might make a mess) and had never seen playdoh (also too messy). :(

As for glitter, we say in the library business: Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies (once you get it, you never get rid of it.)

[Honey693]

We have a huge stack of old magazines that I let the kids destroy.  My 2 year old just cuts the pages, but my 4 year old cuts things out and glues them.  She's very into making color pages, cutting out green pictures and gluing them onto green paper.  I don't even have to buy the magazines since my grandma saves hers for me and I can usualy find some on freecycle if we're running low.