I'm sure there's somewhere else on Mothering to ask this question, but it feels a bit sensitive, and I'd rather ask you ladies, you know?
My daughter, who is 3 and some, is going through her normal period of body awareness. This is fine. We've talked a lot about it, and I've been very chill about it. Too chill? Maybe. Her special little friend, G, has also been working through his new awareness of his body. He is OBSESSED with his penis. He can't stop touching it. Ever. And the first thing the kids want to do when they get together is get naked and compare. And I want to be relaxed about nudity in our household. I'm not all that modest, and family nudity was just a part of our lives as kids (in Finnish culture, family saunas are always nude, nudity is not really a thing.) But seriously, it is getting out of hand, and we've had to start being strict with the clothing rules when they are together. Which is OK too, really, but it hasn't really stopped them. I can't count the number of times we (his mama and I) have witnessed something completely inappropriate.
And then recently it escalated for him. He started, um, forcing, interaction with his privates on his baby twin sisters, my DD and even baby O. And no matter how many times his mama talks to him about it, it doesn't seem to even register. And he's been acting weird. Like total meltdown when my DD wouldn't play the "milky game" with him, which turned out to be penis-related (involving mouths etc) which totally triggered red flags for both his mama and me. She's really stressed out, trying to figure out if little G is or has been abused somewhere, or if he's getting the idea from other kids who are suffering under sexual abuse.
Anyway, I'd love suggestions on places to read up on this kind of thing that are sympathetic to gentle parenting and not involve any kind of shaming. Books for preschoolers would be especially appreciated - ones that talk about body awareness and sexuality not only in terms of where babies come from, but also helping kids understand what is and isn't OK.
It's really heavy, and just like DD's early understanding of death, I am just not ready.