August 2012 Infertility One Thread -- Bring on Those Late Summer BFPs! - Page 2

[SKJ2011]

dakipode - Hi. I recognize your from the saner tww threads. Sorry you found your way over here. The whole IF thing can be so daunting. I hope your stay here is short and sweet. Feel free to pop in whenever.

Toothfairy - ooh. That looks interesting. I actually mixed the rrl and peppermint tea. Just need to get my hands on the other two. I've got no idea what my acupuncturist gave me. It's pretty awful tasting. I know it's a "blood mover" but not sure of the exact concoction. She mixes it up special for me. I have this feeling that your time is coming really soon. I hope I'm right!

[wissa19]

Smiles - I'm so sorry.  I wish there were words that would help, but I know there's not.   I really really really really wanted the labs to be wrong!

[Sourire]

shesaidboom - Thanks for the new thread! My trip was to Regina, Saskatchewan which is where I grew up. That is so discouraging about your heart, wow. As if you don't have enough problems already! I'm hoping the MRI shows better results. Sorry you hit another of those awful deadlines. I'm up for one of those next week: it's our 2 year wedding anniversary, aka 2 year anniversary of failing to get pregnant. I really wish we had started TTC a few months before or after our wedding because now I find wedding anniversaries so depressing. And don't even get me started on birthdays!

lilac - oh that is so exciting that you guys have more sperm than you thought!

toothfairy - I heard the same thing that progesterone suppositories don't influence your blood progesterone much... all the progesterone is going straight to your reproductive organs where it's needed most! So hopefully things aren't as bad as they sounded. It's very exciting that Prometrium solved your spotting though... when I was on Prometrium I still had spotting, which I why I switched to Crinone.

Milkshake - I'm so excited that your DH bought the ring!!! Is it hidden, or can you take it out and look at it sometimes?

SKJ - the best way to improve your lining is to not be on Clomid! I'm surprised they didn't switch you already if you had a lining issue last month. I would strongly recommend insisting on Femara next cycle.... I honestly believe that Clomid should not be prescribed anymore, I don't get why doctors are still prescribing it when a better alternative exists!

Smiles - I'm so so sorry you've received this news.  That must be so incredibly difficult for you. I really hope you can find peace with things eventually (and possibly get a suprise BFP!)

Sila - thinking of you!

AFM - I'm back from my trip. My baby neice is the cutest thing ever, I wanted to hold her all the time (I was always arguing with my mom & dad over whose turn it was to hold her). She's 6 weeks old and so tiny, just recently hit 6 lbs (she was under 5 lbs at birth). I'm really proud of my SIL also who is not the crunchy type at all but she's totally gotten into cloth diapering and breast feeding. I think my brother is the one really pushing these things... I never thought he cared about stuff like that but I guess years of watching our two younger sisters get cloth diapered and breastfed until they were toddlers really had an impact on him (my mom is pretty crunchy!) So anyways my usual feelings of envy and sadness around babies never surfaced around my neice... I know my brother and SIL didn't have an easy time conceiving either (she has PCOS, he had a low sperm count, it took them about a year and they got pregnant on Clomid and possibly metformin). Although I did have an overwhelming urge to steal the baby and take her home with me!!!!

While I was there I also went to my friend's wedding. Of course I ended up being seated next to a pregnant girl again. Luckily I handled it better this time, I only had a few glasses of wine :)

DH and I were not sure whether we wanted to try this month. My ovulation ended up being during my trip and we were staying at my dad's place which has paper thin walls and our room shared a wall with my dad's room... also the bed has a very squeaky mattress!!! DH voted to not even bother BDing since he doesn't believe we can get pregnant without meds. I totally agree with him but I always have this tiny sliver of hope which simply will not go away and I can't bring myself to completely give up on a cycle... so I negotiated with him that we would only BD one single time either the day of my + OPK or the day after. Well I got my +OPK at 11pm on Saturday and my dad was sleeping in the room next to us so that night was not possible. So Sunday we had a find a way to be alone in my dad's house. All day I was trying to convince my dad to go hang out with my brother and their baby, or to go for a bike ride, or go do an errand. He just would not get the hint!!!! Finally I had to come out and tell him that I needed him to get out of the house because I was ovulating and his walls were too thin! It was probably one of the most embarassing moments of my life!!!! But we ended up getting our one BD in, lol.

DH and I have got tickets to the musical Wicked this weekend (to celebrate our anniversary), I'm so excited! DH really hates musicals so I had to beg for about 3 months before he finally relented... he probably only gave in to stop me from nagging haha.

[toothfairy2be]

Sourire- i literally just laughed out loud about you telling your dad to scoot so you could BD. I'm glad you enjoyed your niece& you overcame the urge to baby snatch

Also, thanks for repeating the progesterone/ blood thngg. I must have overlooked it when someone said it before but I just googled after reading what you said & I feel a lot better. It still doesn't make sense completely because dont they say medicated you should be above 20 and unmedicated above 10? Not that I'm not truely relieved ( because going from 30 to 10 in 4 days still sounds sucky if it included supplementing) but I don't fully understand.

[kparker]

Just checking in on everyone here still in this phase of the journey! Been thinking of all of you lately, just read and caught up on everything. Wishing you all great success ASAP!

[lilacvioletiris]

Toothfairy2be, we don't actually know how many swimmers are frozen, just that the bit of sample had 5 motile and 3 nonmotile, so hopefully there are multiples of 5 in the 9 vials that are frozen.

AFM, AF showed up while I was gone to a teacher's convention in Nashville, TN.  The convention was great, but the earlier than expected AF was annoying.  No free baby this month.

[teresaresa]

Sourire: I'm so glad you had fun with your niece :) I went to see a friend today who had her baby yesterday. I realized after the fact that it never even crossed my mind that it might be hard. And to be honest, it really wasn't hard at all. He was so flippin' adorable. I held him the whole time (I was the only visitor at the moment). It was love! Hilarious that you had to kick your dad out of the house!  I hope you and DH were able to enjoy the sexy time together ;-) And, I have everything crossed that it worked (partially b/c I think it's such a great story!). I loved, loved, loved Wicked. I saw it when it first came to Broadway. You're going to have a great time!!!

Sila: I didn't go back to finish reading the July thread, but I take it you ovulated on your own!!! How exciting! You must be doing back flips. Maybe your body just needed a little push? Hope everything else is great in your world. 

Smiles: Oh my gosh, lady. I am so sorry. My heart is seriously aching for you. IF alone is unfair, but this just really sucks. :(

Shesaidboom: Aw, lady. Anniversaries are hard for sure. I didn't catch up on the July thread; I hope the heart thing others are mentioning is not serious :( I'll be thinking of you!

Milk: Holy Toledo Batman!!!!!! So excited for you! Please describe the shiny bauble :)

SKJ: Why do they still have you on Clomid? That's crazy. As soon as your lining wasn't good they should have switched you. Total bummer. However, it sounds like you're doing everything you can do counterbalance the Clomid effects. Are they giving you any progesterone support after your IUI?

Toothfairy: YAY for no spotting. That's truly amazing. I'm glad they finally figured out how to fix that. I love ginger tea. So yummy. Glad you and DH will get in there around ovulation ;-)

plane: Welcome :)

Lilac: So excited for your next freeze!

jukim: That's so awesome! I think I remember you going on vacation months ago, and then I don't think you ever came back to us. I'm so super excited your pregnant - congrats!

krunchyk: I'm glad you're still around. Hope all is well with you. 

AFM: Not sure who lurks on the IVF thread. I miss you ladies so much. You're just so supportive. Anyway, I'd like to come back this way for now even though I'm not going to be doing much for the next three months. I had a miscarriage on 7/27 after 8 agonizing weeks (well, actually I was 10 weeks with how they count it). The pregnancy was fraught with issues from the beginning, so I'm relieved it's over. We can't cycle again (either fresh or frozen) for roughly three months, so I'm going to take this time to refocus on me and on my marriage. I'm likely going to change REs - I have an appointment with someone new on 9/6. At this point, I need a little more hand-holding, and my current doc's support staff haven't been the best at that. So, onward and upward!!! Looking forward to coming back over here to cheerlead for a while :)

[SKJ2011]

Hi lovely ladies!

Sourire - I asked about Femara and the clinic I go to doesn't use it b/c it's off label for fertility. I guess it has something to do with liability. Anyways, it sucks, but the good thing is that my RE has a cutoff of 5 or 6 for lining on day of trigger. Last month it was a 6.2 the morning of trigger. So, that's within the acceptable range. We'll see how this month looks with all my supplements. If it's still borderline, I'll push to move on to the next thing.

I'm so glad you had a great trip and fell in love. That's just so great to hear. As for the wedding, you seriously are a preggo-magnet. WTH?? Ahh, the things we do to have a baby. That's hilarious that you kicked your dad out. I hope you get a free baby and that's the story of how he/she was conceived.

lilac - sorry the witch showed up. Hoping you get to do IVF in no time!

teresa - Hi lady! Glad to "see" you here. Sounds like you are doing the right thing in switching REs. Trusting your caregivers is so important in this journey, I think. I hope the appointment on the 6th goes well! Are you guys being told to avoid during the next three months, or are you choosing to take a break? After my loss, I made the mistake of going over to the TTC after loss boards. I think nearly everyone who was on the thread with me is already knocked up. Just a warning in case you were thinking of heading over there.

AFM - Nothing was found during my saline u/s, which is good news. Both tubes are open. Hopefully, the saline flushed out any cobwebs and this will be our month. Next on the docket is monitoring on monday morning. I've been charting through ovulation and stopping during my LP, b/c it just stresses me out then. This month was looking good until today. I think it's the clomid, but my temp skyrocketed. It was 98.2 yesterday and 98.6 today (vaginal temps)! I read that clomid can screw up your bbt. Wow, I was shocked this morning.

[zubeldia]

Milk!! What???!!

Hi Sila!
 

[krunchyk]

Thanks Shesaidbloom!

Teresaresa - I'm so sorry for your loss. After my second miscarriage I read the book Coming To Term by Cohen. He discusses a lot of the research around miscarriage - recurrent miscarriage specifically. I'm telling you about it because he reviews a study where Scandinavian doctors used a form of tender loving care (that's what they call it) to treat recurrent miscarriage.  The group that received extra care, therapy, attention, etc were found to have a greater chance of carrying to term. So, finding a doctor and staff that offers care and support is super important. I hope you can find it with the new RE!

Also, I would recommend the book to anyone that has had a miscarriage. It gave me hope not because it is full of rosie stories and fabulous self-affirmations, but because the research points to the fact that most women that miscarry over and over again will eventually carry to term.  Hope is a beautiful thing.

Sila - I was just creeping on your chart. I have my fingers crossed that you are one of the lucky ones that gets pregnant on the off month!

Back to lurking. Have a good weekend!

[Milk8shake]

Originally Posted by Xerxella 


You caught me. Remember, stalking is caring. 

Originally Posted by Gemmine 

Another lurker/stalker caught. Back to the bushes I go. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by zubeldia 

Milk!! What???!!

  So much stalking love.  I understand because I myself, am an experienced stalker also.  Zub, that'll teach you!  

 

Smiles:  Frickety Frick.    I understand what it is to be sidelined by terrible news, and to have to withdraw.  I've done it.  Of course you need time to process and make decisions.  

Personally I have previously made the decision (like after my third loss) not to try again.  Of course clearly I went back on that decision.  It happened again earlier this year when the specialist told me to basically find a surrogate.  It took a lot of time to process that, and figure out what I wanted to do with the information.  Ultimately, getting another opinion was the right thing for me, and set me on the course I am on now.  I honestly don't hold out a lot of hope for us being successful ever, but while even the tiniest glimmer of hope is there, the minutest possibility, I guess we will keep trying.  Which is not to say that it's not hard, and terribly heartbreaking.  I know this post seems AAM, but I'm just trying to let you know that I understand, and that I don't think anyone of us would mind if you stuck around and wanted to talk it through.  Much love to you 

 

SSB: Thanks for doing my blurb.  My inner bridezilla is dying at the moment because another girl at work is newly engaged and talking wedding stuff all over the office.  Hers is all Big Fat Greek wedding style, but I still wanna butt in on the conversations alot.  The whole not actually being engaged yet puts a damper on that.  People at work think I am crazy enough, us being together so long and not married.  

 

Cait:  Sangria recipe sounds fabulous - please, I'd love the recipe!  Yes, I like the distraction factor, and I would secretly love it if I were engaged in time for the party so there was a focus other than the million pregnant women that will be there.  (See, I need alcohol!)  

Glad your period & spotting is better!  How crazy are we to rate our periods though, really?  How is the tea?  Is it awful?  Pretty sure I could never drink anything like that.  Hoping for CD13 O for you, or CD12 might be a very late night!! 

 

SKJ:  Glad that the doc did another u/s for you.  There is a lot of anecdotal evidence of increased fertility after HSGs, so I would imagine that an SHG could have a similar effect!  Here's hoping.  

Temps up - shouldn't that be good?  I'm sorry that I fail at chart talk!  

 

Jukim & Dakipode - thanks for checking in.  It's good to know who's out there stalking.  Jukim - congrats, and Dakipode - welcome.  

 

Sourire - The ring is hidden, but I know where - I swear, I found it by accident!  I'm not taking it out to look at though.  How's that for self control???  Glad you had a nice time with your niece.  Time with babies can go either way for me, so I'm glad you enjoyed it!  Good job handling the wedding preggo patrol.  Hope you have a great time @ Wicked - I'd love to go.

OMG - I CANNOT BELIEVE that you had that conversation with your Dad.  I'm dying of embarrassment just thinking about it.  You, lady, have balls of steel!  

 

Teresa - glad you felt like checking in again.  Awesome news that you are going to hang with us!  I'm in a holding patter for this month at least, so company is always a good thing.  We can hold your hand until the new RE takes over!  You will have to wait until the ring is on my finger to find out more, friend!  

Krunchy - I've heard a lot of good things about that book too.  I might have to go eBay it now, because you gave it such a great rap.  

AFM:  Well, my OPKs never arrived, but I'm about 97% certain that O'd last night, which was a very early (for me) CD14.  I had a few fleeting moments of temptation to jump DP, but I held strong.  Much to his disappointment, I'm sure.  But at least I O'd, which is good news after last month's curse of the never-ending +opk.  It's really hard to let a month go by like that though.  

I had some bloods drawn a few weeks ago, because I've been struggling with lack of energy and ongoing tiredness for ages now.  My vit B & D were both pretty low, so it's good that I'll have this cycle to try and build them up.  Unfortunately my kidney function was red flagged as really low.  This is a big problem, because I only have one.  (my screwed up uterus & missing a kidney go hand in had).  Sooooo, I have to have a renal tract u/s on Monday to see what is going on.  From what Google can tell me, my results seem to fall into the first stage of chronic kidney disease  Not so great, my doctor seemed pretty concerned about it too.  However, Google also says that elevated blood pressure is almost always associated with kidney disease, and my blood pressure is and always had been perfect.  I guess I'll have to wait and see.  

[SilaMarila]

Hello All.

I (obviously) took a break from participating this month. Surprisingly I ovulated by myself, without meds, on CD22. Not too shabby at all. It was a much more relaxed month without the RE. AF arrived this morning. I'm not sure what is next for us. At this point we do not feel like continuing IF treatments is what we should be doing. We will continue to try on our own for now. We are starting to explore the idea of adoption (I'm specifically wanting to do embryo donation but there are a lot of conversations that need to be had). In the meantime, if I'm ovulating, it could eventually happen.

[monkeyscience]

Just stopping by for a minute to give everyone a hug! So much tough stuff lately!

shesaidboom - I hope your MRI shows better things for you. Those test results sound pretty scary to me - but I don't know a ton about heart conditions. Like you need more health problems on top of IF! What ever happened with all of your lab work - has your RE rethought the PCOS diagnosis? I know your AMH levels were low on the retest, too, but if you said anything else, I missed it.

smiles - I am so, so sorry about the POF diagnosis. Not totally surprised after all that you've said over the past year or so, but very sad for you. I think it would be worth it to get a second opinion as far as options go, but I totally understand if you just need to close this chapter of your life right now. I wish I had something better to say.

teresa - I hope I said it at the time, but I can't remember if I did - I'm sorry for the way everything turned out for you. I was so hoping for a miracle fighter baby for you. But I still hope it is a sign of good things yet to come!

Cait - Sorry things are still not quite lined up for you, but I'm excited that your new doc has a new idea about exactly what's going wrong, and excited about the no spotting!

Sourire - Glad you had a fun trip, and WOW at having the nerve to talk to your dad. I think I would die before doing that. When we did our medicated cycle, we were staying with my grandparents. Luckily, we had a guest room in the basement, and they mostly stay upstairs. We did tell them several times we were "going to bed" rather early... which was kind of true...

milk - W00T on the ring!! Can't wait for it to be official. Any idea if that will be coming any time soon?? I will definitely want to hear about wedding plans! And yay for ovulation... even if you did restrain yourself! Booooo on the kidney function. Hoping and praying that it's something that can be improved, and not the start of a downward slide. What did they say about the prognosis when they first found out you have only one kidney? Is kidney failure common if you have only one? I know they do living kidney donations, so I would guess that it's not that much of an increased risk, but I don't really know. Anyway, you're another person that just doesn't need to have other health problems get worse! C'mon, universe!!

deborah - Hope you are doing okay, and that you're feeling more excited about your appointment next week. I think about you a lot, especially when I moved to the top of the grads list... you should have been before me, and there is definitely a hole there since you lost your sweet boys. Let us know how things go next week - I will definitely be stalking, even if I don't comment much any more.

Ooookay... so I guess I had more to say than I thought. And I'm sure I've forgotten 50 bazillion things I wanted to comment on, but haven't. I'm still hoping for another run of BFPs like we had awhile back. It's sad to see all the missing months on the grad roster.

AFM, almost 40 weeks, and mostly doing fine. Still not believing I'm really getting a baby out of this. I think I'm going to be in complete shock when I go into labor... if I even realize it is labor. I have been a total emotional basketcase the last few days, which has been... fun. Continuing to try to check off as many pregnancy symptoms as possible (carpal tunnel syndrome, anyone?), but glad that baby seems as healthy as ever. Other than that, just hanging out and "feeling swell" as dh likes to pun. :)

[Mensch00]

So far, looking good.  First beta was 220. Second beta three days later was 970.  Going in for a third beta on Monday. After that I will reject the clinic's standard procedure of doing three ultrasounds ... because I don't trust ultrasound tech at all. I'll let them do one during the 6th or 7th week to confirm the heart beat ... and then I'm looking foward to a low-tech, natural pregnancy (in contrast to everything that came before)!  We also have an almost 4 year old from my initial IVF surgery in 2008.  And in 2011 I had an unsuccessful FET. 

Just started a thread about struggling toward a natural pregnancy after going through the harrowing, high-tech experiences of infertility treatment.  Would love to hear your thoughts:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1360397/natural-pregnancy-after-infertility-treatment

P.S. - Although everything looks great, I notice that my husband and I aren't letting ourselves admit to/really enjoy this good news yet. It took us years of trying before we had our daughter, and then another four years and one unsuccessful fet before getting this result.  We seem to be overly concerned that there may be a miscarriage -- despite good hcg numbers and me feeling healthy and nauseous with morning sickness ... I find myself hunting down a chat forum at midnight ... so that I can put on paper (metaphorically speaking) that it worked! I'm pregnant.  We've been quite cautious in allowing it to sink in.

[Sourire]

Originally Posted by Mensch00 

So far, looking good.  First beta was 220. Second beta three days later was 970.  Going in for a third beta on Monday. After that I will reject the clinic's standard procedure of doing three ultrasounds ... because I don't trust ultrasound tech at all. I'll let them do one during the 6th or 7th week to confirm the heart beat ... and then I'm looking foward to a low-tech, natural pregnancy (in contrast to everything that came before)!  We also have an almost 4 year old from my initial IVF surgery in 2008.  And in 2011 I had an unsuccessful FET. 

Seriously? You come post on an infertility thread for the first time to announce you're pregnant? I'm sure you've had a very difficult journey an all, but I have no idea what that journey has been (because you didn't really bother to tell us much of it).... anyways, congratulations on coming to rub your pregnancy in our faces. You must be a wonderful person (***sarcasm***).

I woke up in the early hours this morning lying in a pool of gushing blood. Another pair of underwear and another set of sheets ruined. I'm at 7 dpo. I'm very angry and felt the need to lash out at someone, and Mensch00 your post just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[Mensch00]

I have spent about $15,000 out of pocket. It took me 6 years to get pregnant with my daughter and another 4 years before getting this recent bfp.  So to put that in perspective, I started trying to have kids when I was 28 and now just learned that I'm finally pregnant with number two at age 40. Statistics show that there is still a 20+ percent chance that I will miscarry.  I have miscarried and I've also had an unsuccessful fet. I've had surgery to remove endometriosis and surgery to remove polyps.  So yes, I am announcing a bfp.  People do it on infertility forums all the time.  Because when you get pregnant after going through the hell of ivf and while you're still sticking needles in your backside every night ... you still don't even believe it. You're paranoid that something could go wrong. You tried so hard that you think it is impossible. I still think that it is impossible and my husband doesn't want to talk about it because he is still pretty SURE that it isn't going to work. 

And from shat I understand ... when I see a thread that says "bring on those late summer bfps" ... when you announce that you got two positive hcg tests people are supposed to say "yay, lots of sticky baby dust." Or something like that, and wish you luck.  I just re-read your message. Hadn't read all the way through, after being shocked by the first part ...  You are really in pain, so I can completely understand your message. Give yourself time to recover.  I stayed away from forums when I miscarried.  Didn't want to read anyone's positive news either.  I jumped back in later, when I was ready to try again (sometimes taking a year off).  Wishing you the strength to get through it.

[Sourire]

Originally Posted by Mensch00 

And from shat I understand ... when I see a thread that says "bring on those late summer bfps" ... when you announce that you got two positive hcg tests people are supposed to say "yay, lots of sticky baby dust." Or something like that, and wish you luck. 

Yes I am happy when someone gets a BFP and I will say exactly those things to that person... someone who has been on this thread while TTC and has shared their ups and downs, has supported me and been supported by me throughout the journey. However I will reiterate: you don't come join an infertility thread when you're already pregnant!!!! You could have joined us long ago when you were still trying, and if you had, I would have been so happy for you right now! It seems to me like you are just looking for people to congratulate you. I'm sure you can find plenty of people to congratulate you elsewhere. If you read the first post, there is a link to another thread for people who are pregnant after infertility. The reason that thread exists is so that those of us still going through the pain of it all don't have to read about them when we don't feel up to it... and on days when we are feeling up to it, we can go read what's going on with them. Seeing as you have gone through this infertility crap for so long, I would expect you to be the first person to understand why this setup is best for everyone!!!!

Yes you have been through a lot. But when you just barge onto this thread and announce you're pregnant, how the heck are we supposed to know that? It could have been your first month trying for all we know! Did you seriously expect a wave of congratulations from us? Ok ok I don't speak for anyone else, maybe some other people here are not feeling as bitter as I am right now and will want to congratulate you.

Also if you think I'm miscarrying, you clearly didn't read my post, or my blurb at the beginning. I have never had the opportunity to get a single BFP in my life, so there's no way I could possibly be miscarrying. You didn't bother to take any time to learn anything about anyone on this thread, how can you expect us to care about you? I read along on this thread for months before joining.

As for being worried about whether the pregnancy will last, I'm sure that is tough. Obviously I have never been in your shoes so I wouldn't know. However every single woman in the Infertility Graduates thread has been in your shoes, and I can guarantee you that they will be able to provide much better support than I would.

[Mensch00]

that's just silly.  I have been in these forums a number of times before, but of course not on this thread.  Around midnight last night I had the need to write down the words "I had a bfp" as part of admitting it to myself, so that I would believe it and bring it good luck, and would stop looking up stats on tubal pregnancies and the like.  My god, it had nothing to do with bragging.  I may not have written supportive threads on this forum before, but I have posted them on other forums.  I just haven't posted on any forums lately.  And I feel the need to do so now because I find myself extremely paranoid that the pregnancy will not work out.  I've never tried to bully anyone on a fertility forum for announcing that they are pregnant.  When a woman goes through more than 10 years of fertility treatment, she knows what others are going through. She is not bragging.  Despite the bfp I am still a bit wacko about the issue ... because the whole long painful process makes you wacko.

The thread that I tried to start (which no one has responded to yet) invites people to talk about trying to do a natural pregnancy after going through the extremely invasive/high tech process of ivf/ infertility treatment.  The reason that I started it is because I have just told my infertility clinic that I will be rejecting their proposal to do three ultrasounds. they want to do an ultrasound at 5-6 weeks to confirm that it isn't a tubal pregnancy and then two more.  I believe that ultrasounds can do harm to a fetus.  I recognize that I have a higher chance of having an ectopic pregnancy than women who have conceived naturally. And so the doc is telling me that I am putting my health at risk by making this decision.  It's a relevant topic for anyone on the mothering forum who is battling with infertility and also hoping / planning to become pregnant ... whether or not they have become so.  Because the infertility treatment we go through actually runs counter to the kind of lifestyles many of us would ideally lead.   I buy unpasturized cow's milk from an amish farmer because I think that it's healthier, for ex.  But I've also shot myself up with lupron even though I know that it is bad for me and can cause weird side effects, like memory loss.

I don't think that threads should be as exclusive as this one seems to be.  We all know that there are lots of people who lurk, who are dealing with similar situations, because they don't have the heart/guts, or whatever, to post.  And if my bfp goes south in two weeks ... I can already tell you ... I'm going to cry into my pillow, and my computer is going to be shut off.  I won't need a discussion forum then. I will be way beyond that.  I have found that I need one now because I am trying to convince myself to be joyful rather than completely and obsessively paranoid. Which is what I am.

Honestly, I've followed many infertility forums and threads and have never seen anyone tell another person to go screw themselves for managing to get a bfp.

[Mensch00]

Also, just for the record ... the two positive hcg results that I have received are just a blip on the chart.  Many, many women get bad news after that.  So I'm definitely not going to join a "graduate's forum."  Not after getting a bfp a week ago.  I did spend a half hour reading through messages before posting. But you need to join a conversation before you actually start to familiarize yourself with people.

Until yesterday, I didn't know there was an infertility thread on Mothering. And I haven't been able to find the forum that I used to post on. And I really was happy to find one here because Mothering is known as a great community for granola-minded souls.  If you haven't had a miscarriage yet, then man ... you don't know what I'm talking about. Two weeks pregnant isn't really pregnant at all. No heart beat yet.  Until your about 7 weeks along and you get a heart beat it is not so much a believable pregnancy as a hopeful hcg number.  So why would I want to join a forum for "graduates."  Puh.

[Sourire]

Originally Posted by Mensch00 

Honestly, I've followed many infertility forums and threads and have never seen anyone tell another person to go screw themselves for managing to get a bfp.

Well I guess it's just your unlucky day! Any other day I would have ignored your post, but when I read your post this morning I was already angry and looking for a fight, so you seemed like a convenient target! I must say you've risen to the bait admirably, this fight has been very satisfying so far! My DH would also like to thank you because if it hadn't been for you, he would have been on the receiving end of my anger right now! It's so much easier to say mean things to some random person on the internet, don't you think?

Yes I am fully aware that I'm acting like a crazy person right now. That's why I see a psychologist on a regular basis... too bad for you that I missed my last 2 appointments with her due to being scatterbrained and forgetting what date & time they were at.

Also I should add a disclaimer: everyone else on this thread is much nicer and more supportive than I am being right now. Don't judge the others by what I am writing, they don't deserve it. And all your assumptions about this thread being exclusive (to people who are actually TTC! I know how crazy that is, yes I do! of course we are always happy to hear from our graduates as well) are totally based on what I, the crazy person, have said, and do not in any way pretend to reflect the opinions of others.

Now back to the real fighting:

Perhaps I should just follow your advice and avoid this thread any time I'm feeling down, because god forbid I might encounter a stranger in the mood to celebrate. It's true that the amazing ladies here have provided me with great support in the many months I've been around here, and helped me through so many tough times. But according to you, discussion forums should be avoided when times are tough and people should only come on here when they have happy news to share! I guess I was wrong about this thread all along! Thank you so much for educating me on what discussion forums are for!