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Charter School Bullies - Page 2

post #21 of 25

Back to the OP, I would be especially worried about the bullies, since they bullied your dd in front of you.  How brazen! It seems clear that they are not afraid of consequences from adults.  I wonder what the dynamic is at school (and at home) that lets them feel so confident about their poor behavior?

 

I would definitely look for other schooling options for your dd, while at the same time I would put pressure on the school to solve this problem.  I would email the principal with my concerns, and schedule a meeting.  I would definitely want the situation written down.  Ask the principal what his/her plan will be to prevent your dd from being bullied by the same children again this year.  I might consider having in my hand the state law on bullying and ask how the school plans to comply with state law in this case, and point out how state law has not been complied with if that's true.  I would follow up the meeting with an email with the action plan you came up with in the meeting, ending with, "please respond if this is not accurate." You want the principal to take responsibility for this situation and he or she will be well aware that a paper trail holds them responsible. 

 

I think it's terrific that you're helping her strengthen her friendship with one girl, but the other girls need to stop the bully behavior as well.      I also think it's laudable that you're trying to work with a bully-mother and hope that helps, but the school needs to stop up as well. 

 

Good luck and keep us posted.  I feel for your sweet dd!

post #22 of 25
Thread Starter 

Agdurannie, I'm glad that you chimed in.  I had an interesting discussion with an educator about this recently.  She asked the kids who were studying different mammals at what age these mammals reproduced and then asked about humans and when they could reproduce. When the kids said 13 or 14 she asked them if they thought that this was wise and they thought about it and said, "no".  She told them that at his age kids need to be focusing on learning and playing and that boyfriends and girlfriends come much later.  It sounds really simplistic now that I'm writing it, but it sounded like it had a profound effect on the little class of 6-8 year olds.  It sounds like you are doing such a great job with your DD.  I want to acknowledge what a great job you are doing in respecting her choices and allowing her to be part of the decision making process in your family.
 

post #23 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by chaimom View Post

Back to the OP, I would be especially worried about the bullies, since they bullied your dd in front of you.  How brazen! It seems clear that they are not afraid of consequences from adults.  I wonder what the dynamic is at school (and at home) that lets them feel so confident about their poor behavior?

 

I would definitely look for other schooling options for your dd, while at the same time I would put pressure on the school to solve this problem.  I would email the principal with my concerns, and schedule a meeting.  I would definitely want the situation written down.  Ask the principal what his/her plan will be to prevent your dd from being bullied by the same children again this year.  I might consider having in my hand the state law on bullying and ask how the school plans to comply with state law in this case, and point out how state law has not been complied with if that's true.  I would follow up the meeting with an email with the action plan you came up with in the meeting, ending with, "please respond if this is not accurate." You want the principal to take responsibility for this situation and he or she will be well aware that a paper trail holds them responsible. 

 

I think it's terrific that you're helping her strengthen her friendship with one girl, but the other girls need to stop the bully behavior as well.      I also think it's laudable that you're trying to work with a bully-mother and hope that helps, but the school needs to stop up as well. 

 

Good luck and keep us posted.  I feel for your sweet dd!


You brought up so many good points.  The original girl,"Libby" has many supportive grown ups, but I would have to say that her mother takes "self absorbed" to a level I didn't know existed.  There is also a race among some of these parents to grow their young child into a mini adult.  I just don't get it.  I cherish childhood. 

 

I worry that my daughter might become a "mean girl" in order to fit in.  I worry that waiting for a school to fix a problem that has gone on for multiple years will be at the expense of our DD.  We are looking at a school that talks about community every day and has good supervision at play time.  We've had mixed thoughts about a larger school with more people to choose from and a small school that may have the same issues.  For us it comes down to our own DD.  We think that she is sensitive and may benefit from a smaller school.  I hope that we are right as there are many good qualities about the school that she attends.  I've only mentioned the worst issue and not all of the redeeming features that drew us to the school initially.

post #24 of 25
Thread Starter 

Today is a new day.  DD started a new school.  This school is only 4 days a week which will allow us to have more time with our precious DD.  The school is new, but already has a great reputation for facilitating community and friendships among the students and families.

 

The old school is going to focus on building healthy relationships in the class that DD attended.  I just don't see that much healthy change happening without strong supportive family involvement. There is only so much that a school can do. 

 

I appreciate everyone's input and am very grateful to this forum at Mothering to hear other discussions and have some much needed validation about my feelings as a mother.
 

post #25 of 25

Sounds like a good move. I hope she has a great year!

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