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Strange Text

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

My husband just received a text on his phone from a number we don't recognize. The texter claims to be a friend of our DD, age 17, and they want to remain anonymous. In the text this "friend" says that our DD is doing drugs and alcohol and they are so worried.


Now, our daughter isn't a saint, but she is really together overall. She carries a 4.3 GPA (honors classes), is very involved in extracurricular activities (theater), has many art/craft projects she works on at home, stays on top of her chores (mostly, lol!), hangs out with her brother (DS, age 6) and is generally a polite young lady.


We are just a bit freaked out by this text, though. We tried goggling the phone number, but all it shows is the city where we live. We don't want to pay to get the rest of the information. We haven't brought it up with her yet, because she has a performance tonight. Also, I know she will feel like we don't trust her if we ask about this.


Any thoughts or has someone dealt with a situation like this before?



post #2 of 7

I would approach her about it from the perspective of "who's mad at you?" because that's probably what this is about.

post #3 of 7
Honestly it sounds like a "mean girls" scenario to me, someone trying to get her in trouble because of petty jealousies. I could be wrong but that would be my first guess.

It sounds like your DD is doing fine. She may have had a drink or smoked pot at some point--I guess it's up to you whether this matters or not. For a 17-year-old who clearly has a good hold on her life, to me that wouldn't matter. You know her. Does she seem to have good judgement? Does alcoholism run in the family? Are you generally close to her? If she were abusing drugs/alcohol in a way that was damaging to her life, it would be obvious to you, IMO.

You could have a chat with her though, if you haven't already, about the legal consequences of underage drinking, etc. Not accusing but just to make sure she understands the risk.

My little sis had a friend who, as a teenager, took horrible risks with alcohol, drugs and sex. Like getting completely hammered at a party with strangers. She was date raped at one point (NOT her fault, obviously) but she was drunk and with strangers who were older men. I would have never taken that kind of risk at that age. Anyway, her parents had NO idea any of this was happening! But they didn't seem to be very involved or concerned. She lied to them about everything and they apparently never suspected.

So what I'm saying is if you talk to her regularly about her life and her feelings/thoughts and if you have a close relationship, then you are probably a very good judge of what's going on with her. Teens will always hide *something* from their parents because they're developing their own private lives, and that's okay.
post #4 of 7
Thread Starter 

Thank you both! That is what my gut was telling me, too, but it seems so soap opera. Who does this sort of thing in real life?


You are completely right, artekah, about knowing if this were a problem. DH actually said that if she is doing anything, isn't causing any problems. And to be honest, we know where she is all the time, so I know there a very few opportunities for her to do this anyway. And all of her friends are decent kids.

post #5 of 7

I would imagine that anyone actually "so worried" would include their name.  

post #6 of 7

Crazy people do this sort of thing. I wouldn't pay it too much head. I got a series of emails about my DD when she was in middle school. They were supposedly from a girl we knew making some really ugly accusations but it didn't add up at all. We found out it was actually the MOTHER of the girl doing it. In my case, I printed out the emails and took them to the principal. I just wanted a paper trail in case things went further. Nothing ever came of it. He knew instantly that it was a nasty game.


Someone comes to you in person or at least calls you, sure, take some consideration. A text message from who knows? Don't stress about it.

post #7 of 7
Did the text mention your daughter's name? How did the texter get your husband's number? I think it's important to ask these questions. Would one of your daughter's friends be able to get your husband's number? If it was an adult, this would be a poor way to handle it. I guess I have a bit too much interest in investigating to drop it. I agree the text is most likely false accusations. I would want to find out who sent it, though, if I could.
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