having a hard time functioning « Back to Group Discussions

[CalmCenter]

Hi Mamas, 

I hope this isn't too off topic; but pretty sure it is highly pregnancy related. I got pregnant 2 months ago. I currently have a toddler and I am in my late 30s, okay 39. 

I have simply not been functioning normally since I got preg. Like I can't manage to clean the house, prepare food and so on. What is going on with me?

I have a few days to myself, for the first time since my first daughter was born, and I feel like mush. Shouldn't be ppd, cause Im not there yet! lol. 

I feel almost no motivation or basic get up and go to do things. I desperately need tp and haven't gotten to the store in 3 days. Feels like chronic fatigue, except Im not in bed all day. I just don't get anything done! and barely feed myself (well honest: I don't feed myself in any proper way.) 

I was so on top of diet with my first pregnancy and I was tired, but I was working and in school so it was pretty understandable. 

if anyone has any ideas I could really use some help. I do have friends in my life who are supportive, but all have kids too and I don't want to always be the needy, woah is me type. 

[naturalmama1002]

I don't know if you are describing physical fatigue or emotional, or both... but in any case they are closely related, no? If your body is tired your mind and emotions can soon follow. I am getting things done, but I'm having to forcibly remind myself that it's possible (my gut reaction to anything... grocery shopping, cooking dinner, is "ugh").  I'm just physically so wiped out. I do remember being extremely fatigued early on in my other pregnancies but it's been 8-10 years, I'm not in my twenties anymore. I'm just dragging. I hit a wall yesterday at about 5 pm and I felt like a zombie until I went to bed.

Hopefully this passes when the 2nd trimester rolls around! In the meantime, can DH help you? I got as far as the front door with the garbage yesterday and mine chased me back to the sofa. It helps, even though I feel like a total loser (I am usually an overachiever).

[maydaymom10]

I'm right there with you. Currently looking at a kitchen full of dirty dishes & trying to think of something to eat that won't be much effort (Looks like frozen waffles). Anyway, I'm constantly tired these days with no motivation to do anything. Which is rough seeing I have a 2-yr-old to "entertain". I find that forcing myself to get out of the house helps a bit. If I'm around the house, I've been doing things in chunks. So yesterday I folded the laundry, then relaxed on the couch for a bit. Then I took it up and put it away, straightened up the room, took a shower, and then rested on the bed for a bit. Then got up an vacuumed... you get the idea. I didn't get as much done as I'd hoped, but at least it was something.

I don't remember being this tired with DS, but I was teaching PE classes at the time (leading yoga) and working with our school's athletes, so I might just have been too busy to really deal with the fatigue. I was also 2 years younger (but still no spring chicken). This year I'm staying home, which I think allows me to dwell on my miserableness more. I've been forcing myself to go out to playdates at least twice a week. I'd love to force myself to the gym, but that's not happening yet. 

As for diet, I finally printed off the checklist on Dr. Brewer's site & posted it on my fridge in a plastic pocket. I'm checking off the nutrients that I eat each day to try to keep me on better track. It's not perfect, but it does remind me to eat and to eat a variety of things, especially since veggies & protein are not on the top of my list right now. It's not perfect, but I'm doing better than I was (making better choices). You might consider adding a B6 & B12 supplement to you diet (or make sure you're getting a lot of foods containing them) to see if it helps with the energy.

In the end, remember that it's OK to be tired during this part (and really all of it) and you need to take care of you. Listen to what your body is telling you that it needs and try not to beat yourself up for the slacker days. Set a goal for each day and try to achieve that, but let the rest slide. I know that I'm not SuperMom (at least not yet), and I'm OK with it. 

Hope you feel better soon. Hope we all do, for that matter. Hang in there 

[EverLovely]

Hope this isn't too direct of a question but do you think this might be related to the stress and tension between you and your partner?

Could it be that until things are settled there, that your mind feels little motivation to move forward on what it, down deep, considers to be less important matters?

[CalmCenter]

Thanks Mamas, 

I reread Jeanne Parvati's book on prenatal yoga and natural childbirth last night. It was such a good inspiration to look within and to focus on my spiritual life as well.  The challenges with DH are totally draining!  Struggling so much in my heart about what to do.  We are truly toxic to each other right now.  We both want to make it work. But it isn't. I think facing it and letting us separate, as difficult as it will, will give me the space and mentality to give energy to this pregnancy and rebalancing myself. 

We need to find a new therapist; ours hasn't helped much, except slow us down enough to see things are really not working.