update and new questions

[chefmommy]

Thinks are moving at a snail's pace, but, he is not living here so we are pretty peaceful. If I could get some $$ from him and if the fifty weekly emails to stop I would be golden. But back to court later this month for pendente lite follow up and hopefully a decision. Mortgage has not been paid for 5 months at this point.

My questions for you that have gone through this are can I borrow from the children's savings accounts in order to pay for attorney fees?  I would like to send our son or possibly both children to private school. There is a substantial scholarship for him, but, it does not cover all the tuition. Does he need to approve of this as well or can I enroll them?

Any help is appreciated.     

[chefmommy]

Sorry - one more question. I have the desktop computer still here, but, he has locked the administrative functions to cover up the gambling. Should I take it to one of those computer places so that I can use the information at court? Is it worth it?  

[Goodmom2008]

In order to send them to private school and have the courts order your stbx to pay a portion of it is to get your stbx to agree to it or  have irrefutable proof that the public school system where they live is so bad that the private school is the better choice.  If you can't do that, the courts will probably let you, but make you pay for it all. 

I would take the desktop and get it unlocked.  If you can prove dissipation of marital assets via gambling, the asset division would probably go more in your favor.  And I would address legal fees at the pendent lite hearing.  Your attorney did put in a request for him to pay them, right?  Personally, I wouldn't take money from the kids account to pay attorney fees.  But if that is the only way that you can keep your attorney, then do so.  Just document why and the reason (your stbx gambling away marital funds, not paying a dime in support would be some of the reasons for the withdrawal). 

[chefmommy]

Thanks GM - I have not touched their accounts. but, am drowning in trying to keep up the entire house with one income and the lawyer asked for me to pay down some of the balance - already $10,000 and we haven't even started the divorce process yet:(

I don't want him to quit with things so heated between stbx & me. I guess I will have to stop paying cc bills until things turn around.  

Yes he did add attorney fees into the pendente lite, but, he said there are no guarantees - up to the judge if any is awarded. My stbx is crying poverty, but, took kids to the aquarium yesterday & kids told me Dad had a "roll of $100 dollar bills"! Sure he does - cuz he is not paying for anything!!!!!

[lilgreen]

Sounds like lot of stress but you sound strong and not overtaken by it all. No advice, but I just wanted give you my support as I'm beginning this whole ordeal. I hope the court process reveals what it should. xo