Weekly Chat August 6-12 « Back to Group Discussions

[MIrandaM]

Hi Ladies,

I'm procrastinating on cleaning out the supply closet *shudder*, so I thought I'd start this week's chat thread :)

Things are humming along here.  Nursery and crucial things are done.  Now it's just further organizing, cleaning, cooking.  We installed the car seat yesterday, it was a hysterical the two of us rolling around in the backseat sweating and cursing trying to get it tight.  The instructions were terrible - at one point my usually super patient DH started shaking the seat to simulate an accident and it was flying all over (not enough to damage it of course), and he was saying, oh yeah the baby would be fine - I had tears rolling down my cheeks with laughter.  It's snug now so that's good. 

DH finally opened up about work stress and lack of friends in our area - we talked for a long time and had a really nice weekend together after that.  I think he just doesn't like to burden me with his problems, but MAN it's a lot easier to get along with him once he's vented them and is feeling himself again.  He made a massive triple batch of his fantastic spaghetti ragu and portioned it out for the freezer.  Just thaw and add to hot pasta, it's enough for 12 meals (for two) and is my favorite food on the planet.  It's a long, slow bubbly cook, so he even got up in the middle of the night to check on it.  swooon. 

Have been riding bikes down to the lake for a swim at least 2-3 times/week and I am LOVING IT.  I read this whole article about how swimming breast stroke gets the baby into a great, low position so it's nice to do something that feels great and is great for the baby. 

We have a bit of a problem with our dog's kennel, I posted it in pets forum here in case anyone would like to chime in.

My GBS test is on the 14th, I've added Vit C, more probiotics, and a daily application of milk kefir to my lady parts to push for a good result.  Thanks for the feedback on the perineal massage, I'm taking it super easy and keeping it short. 

Hope you all have a great week. 

[Ava's Mama]

Hi Everyone!  I had a good weekend too.  DH was out of town (his last big weekend that he is allowed to go anywhere overnight!), so it was just DD and I, which was veyr relaxed and low key.  I put away a bunch of baby stuff my parents had brought here last week (that had been stored at their house), cleaned out the pantry and the freezer.  My mom is planning on cooking us some frozen meals, so I am trying to make room!  I will be 36 weeks on Friday!  It is on my list to install the car seat this week, I also need to stock up on some birth/labor foods/beverages.  I spent some time watching birth videos and reading Birthing from Within this weekend, trying to get my head in the game.  I have officially gained more in this pregnancy than I did my whole pregnancy with DD (only one pound more so far, but I am pretty sure this baby is going to be much bigger).  We have friends visiting this weekend and next which is fun because I don't see them often and often we have to go to them to see them (pregnancy has its perks!).  Oh AND the house is getting cleaned this friday!!

[Jend1002]

I am procrastinating too - I need to have a massively productive day at work today because the rest of the week is filled with many other things, but yet I can't seem to get to it just yet!  Decaf coffee doesn't help after all....

Miranda - I looked at your post about the kennel.  I don't know - that is tough!  I think it would be hard for me to relax (which you totally NEED to be able to do) at the birth center while worrying about what may be happening at the kennel.  I imagine that asking a lot of questions about how such a thing happened and what is being done to prevent a similar situation would be reassuring, but knowing that the owners didn't tell the truth about the nature of the dog's injuries is really worrisome.  

AFM - I am still pretty depressed about saying goodbye to my dog last week and it's starting to permeate other aspects of my life.  I feel sad about our move, I suddenly feel sad about having DS in preschool...and he has been there for a looooong time.  I think I am turning inward and feeling very overwhelmed.  I know I have withdrawn from DH a bit. I am also starting to truly stress about having NOTHING - and I do really mean NOTHING - done to prepare for baby.  Nothing at all.  I have said it a million times - but moving on Sept 1 is really stinking hard to deal with!  Add money worries to that and ARGH!  

But in terms of the pregnancy, I really do feel great.  I get tired pretty easily but feel good and I am thankful for that.  My emotions are taking a major toll on me so I am glad my physical body hasn't joined in.  We are going on a mini vacation this weekend to the mountains and I think that will be amazing.  DS woke up at 4 am talking about it so I know he is excited too.  I kind of wish he didn't spring into conversation at 4 am, but this seems like a normal thing for him to do.  I get some interesting insight into his thinking by listening to him at 4 am.  

I hope this week is a better one for all of the mamas that were having a rough time last week!  

[hyde]

Good morning from command central, a.k.a. my bed, where I've been pretty much exclusively since Friday afternoon. Thanks to everyone who sent good recovery wishes in the last thread.. I've never coddled a cold this much but the plan seems to be going pretty well (*knocks wood*) so I'm going to keep it up a little longer. Weirdly--and I just know this is going to change as soon as I say it--my body seems to be in a plateau of some sort, or at least have gotten more or less used to the mechanics of carrying an almost-cooked baby. I called to reschedule my chiro appointment, and while in weeks past I'd have been worried about hanging in there for a couple more days, right now I'm feeling okay. I have some misgivings about my posture while spending so much time in bed, but I'm doing what I can.

Miranda, I laughed out loud (well, more like honked :-p ) at the image of your husband shaking the carseat.. I can totally picture that kind of frustration. We'll be working on carseat installation soon enough ourselves, good to know what I should be prepared for..! I don't know what I would do in the case of the kennel, but I can somewhat relate- my brother is now planning to come get his dog in October rather than August, which means I've been thinking about backup plans in case of a hospital transfer.. The dog is fine with us but really nervous generally and intolerant of boarding. She'll apparently freak out and chew on bars, and tranquilizers don't really help (they make her sleepy, but not less scared). We don't have family or friends here either. My dog boards at a kennel attached to our vet, and one thing my vet recommended was bringing them in for day boarding one day ahead of time to familiarize the nervous one with the setup there- would that be an option for you at another kennel? If you were to stay at the familiar kennel, is there an option to keep your dog isolated, so the possibility of attack wouldn't be there?

Ava's Mama, 36 weeks, holy cow! Time is flying. You sound like you're in a pretty good place with preparations--that's great to hear. :) 

Jend, more .. Do you have a friend to vent with? I can only imagine how the stress of moving is adding to all of these emotions.. hopefully you can let it all out somewhere. I'm glad that you're feeling good physically- with all the other stuff you have going on, you deserve it. The vacation sounds like it'll be great. :)

[crystal_buffaloe]

I'm going to jump in nice and early this week

Miranda - Wow, that is tough about the kennel. I would definitely talk to the owner, and depending on his answers, I would stay with the kennel or look for a new arrangement. If his answers are good, I would stay, considering it's so close, but if they are even more concerning, I don't think it's too late for her to get used to another place or to hire someone to come over to your house. If you started working hard-core with them now, they wouldn't be a stranger by the time you went into labor. My GBS will be in 3 weeks and I added vit C to my daily supplement regimen (I was already taking a Rainbow light prental, vit D, Floradix, and 2 probiotics) I'm wondering if I want to up the dose of probiotics (maybe take them 2x a day?) for the next couple of weeks. I haven't decided yet on any external applications of keifer or hibiclins or anything like that. I *really* do not do well with antibiotics and want to avoid them if all possible.

Ava's Mama - I weighed this morning and have now also officially gained one pound *more* than I did the entire pregnancy with DD. I did start off the pregnancy nearly 20 pounds lighter (if somewhat flabbier / less in shape ) but I think this baby's going to be significantly bigger, too.

Jend - yay for minibreak! I don't think I offered my condolences last week, but I was really sorry to read about your dog. Ours just turned four, and I don't even want to think about losing him.

Originally Posted by Jend1002 

I hope this week is a better one for all of the mamas that were having a rough time last week!  

[judybean]

I'm up and moving at a decent time this morning, plus, my older three stayed the night at MILs, so I actually have the computer all to myself!  So exciting!  Can't stay too long since every Monday morning I count the collection plate from the previous weekend at church (with three older guys.. they're probably 60, 82, 83 -- it's a hoot!)... but I feel like this thread can gain steam fast and roll like a snowball, so I need to jump in early ;)

MirandaM -- The visual of shaking the carseat like mad for an 'accident' in a hot, sweaty car that you two have been in for too long to get the darn car seat installed in is just hilarious!  Seems like a great scene from a romantic comedy or something!  I'm so glad you had that moment of just pure joy and laughter!  And then such good heart-to-heart talks!  That's so important for BOTH of you!

Ava's Mama -- I'm just one day behind you, so hitting 36 weeks on Saturday!  It's so wild how time flies!  I'm jealous your mom is making frozen meals for you (though my mom really is pretty great about meals in general and having us over often)... maybe I can con her into making some of her delicious veggie lasagna... and this AMAZING seafood casserole that I've totally been craving.. (ack! Now my mouth is watering! lol)

Jend -- I'm so sorry about your dog still :(  Let yourself be sad for a while though.  Don't push the feelings aside or they'll just fester and come out worse.... and with birth coming up, you don't need any sadness or blocks to getting labor moving and progressing well. ... And I'm really with you in no prep.  I mean, I've sewn (way too many) clothes and diapers, but they're not on the changing table arranged, my house is a wreck, I have no food prep stuff lined up... and we're not even moving!  I can't imagine the stress of moving on top of everything!

ack... dd4 is up!

[MadiMamacita]

on car seat installation: keep in mind that they don't have to be so tight they can't move at all. they need to move less than 1 inch in any direction at the belt path, but under an inch of movement is totally acceptable. just get it as tight as you can, as long as its less than an inch of movement call it a day

[WindyCityMom]

Originally Posted by MadiMamacita 

on car seat installation: keep in mind that they don't have to be so tight they can't move at all. they need to move less than 1 inch in any direction at the belt path, but under an inch of movement is totally acceptable. just get it as tight as you can, as long as its less than an inch of movement call it a day

With your nondominant hand ;)  Unless that has changed, lol.  

I can't believe it's August!!!  Seriously.. most of us are going to have babies later this month or next month.  How crazy is that!  

Everyone at work (coworkers and customers both) keep asking me when my last day is.  They're even more alarmed when I tell them that I'm working up until I go into labor.  Everyone also asks me how far along I am, and when they learn I'm 8 months pregnant they get this bewildered look on their faces  I feel totally fine, I don't get what the huge deal is!  At least random strangers have stopped rubbing me...

Is anyone homeschooling other kids when the new baby is born? I bought the Little Acorn Learning curriculum the other day (okay, just September, so I could look through it and get a feel for it).  I really like it.  My kids are 2 and 4 (will be 3 and 5 in December).  We plan on using the Waldorf methods for homeschooling, so academics really won't start until they're 6 or 7.  I'm hoping this will tide us over until then (it's formulated for mixed aged groups also). LAL is a lot more crafts and things to do with kids.. there are themes of the days and things like that, and everything corresponds seasonally.  We need more structure to our day... especially if I'm going to be off for three months!  I'm just hoping everything isn't too chaotic.

[judybean]

hyde -- glad you're feeling better!  Resting is important!  Hope you get in to the chiro, get all lined up, and carry on with carrying this little one ;)

AFM -- finally back at home after counting money.  Good times.  I always enjoy it.  There were two days here that were cool last week -- one day was just 78* and the other was 82*!  But... back up to 98* yesterday and probably through the rest of the week.  Ugh.  I REALLY need to get stuff done around the house, so I really hope it at least cools down at night so that I can get something done in the morning before I start roasting.  I cant' believe how quickly I feel overwhelmed by the heat (usually I feel like I'm a lizard and totally cold-blooded ;) ).  It's quite freaky to me to know that in just one week and five days I'm considered "full term" since I'll be 37 weeks.  I certainly don't anticipate an early baby in any way, but ... yikes!!  ... Oh, and just two weeks from tomorrow is dh's ordination!!!!!  This is a HUGE THING!  He's been working towards this for 5.5 years now!!  The first weekend of every month (Friday evening - Sunday evening) was a super intense weekend of studies, travelling to a town 3 hours to the south, sometimes through crappy winter conditions, dodging deer, etc... writing lots of papers, delivering practice homilies, practicing weddings, baptisms, funerals, etc... Lots and lots of prep work and it will finally come to completion so soon!  Wow! ... I'm not looking forward to the 5+ hour drive to the south (since I'll be 37w3d), then we'll stay two nights, then finally make the 5+ hour trek back home. 

We know how to plan things... just a few major life events all together... permanent deacon ordination (a forever position), new baby (of course, another forever addition to our hearts!), and then our 11th wedding anniversary happens to be my EDD -- Sept 8th! 

Is anybody else kind of ... squeamish? or maybe just leary a bit of having a baby on Sept 11th?  I know it's not like a bad omen or something, but I would just feel a bit odd about it.  Nothing that would totally put me off, but of any days within the five week window of baby arrival dates, that's the one I'd rather avoid. 

I still try to keep the 15th in mind (41 weeks for me... since none of my girls have arrived before 41 weeks), but... this baby just feels So Darn Low... so much lower than any other pregnancy ... and I do secretly hope it means maybe early for me.. like 40 weeks ;)

[judybean]

WCM -- we're a homeschooling family, but we're planning on holding off a bit with starting lessons until things settle down a bit.  It all depends on when baby comes and how things fall into place afterwards.  We usually generally follow the public school timeline here, but I think we'll just start a few weeks later and see how it goes.  I tend to be pretty laid back with it all.

[Ava's Mama]

Baby Weight - Crystal, I went to a pot luck at my midwife's house yesterday.  Previous clients told birth stories etc.  Anyways, two of the mom's had their second babies and they were two pounds heavier than their first!  Crazy, how much of a difference that is!

Judybean - yes, totally on the same page with Sept 11.  Sept 11 would be 4 days past my EDD and my DD was born 4 days past her EDD...so I am trying to visualize a different date all together!

[calpurnia7]

Originally Posted by judybean 

Is anybody else kind of ... squeamish? or maybe just leary a bit of having a baby on Sept 11th?  I know it's not like a bad omen or something, but I would just feel a bit odd about it.  Nothing that would totally put me off, but of any days within the five week window of baby arrival dates, that's the one I'd rather avoid. 

Here's my two cents about this - I believe that God has a big hand in the creation of life.  Births are miracles, and while we should never forget 9/11, that day happened to create fear in our hearts.  We need to remember the tragedy, but we also need to remember that we can move forward.  What better way to show that than with new life?

[calpurnia7]

Hey Mamas!

Good luck to everyone getting their GBS tests.  I have mine on Wednesday morning and have been doubling up on the probiotics and Vit C rich fruit (YUM).  I can't believe I'm already 35 weeks and a day, less than two weeks to full term! 

My belly is starting to droop, just enough for some relief from heartburn, but not enough (yet) to totally squash my bladder.

This past week was crazy with family in town, running errands, and my baby shower.  I was exhausted and did not get to exercise much at all.  Part of me is disappointed, but DH reminded me that I got in four days of exercise this past week which, at 35 weeks, nothing to be ashamed of.  Thursday night, Mae decided to have a nice sturdy seat on my sciatic nerve and none of my trusty tricks worked.  I didn't sleep much at all Thursday night, and had to take a nap on the floor in an empty office Friday during the day.  I did, however, learn a new trick: I lay on my left side (pain was on the right) and Mae moved a lot while I napped.  When I got up, she had shifted her position and the pain was pretty much gone, thank goodness.  Saturday was the shower (therefore I was worn out), and yesterday, after sleeping and lazing around, DH and I ran our final marathon of errands to return/buy baby stuff.  This week will be spent washing baby clothes, finishing the nursery, and installing carseat bases.

My mother was having a chat with my 12 year old niece, who apparently told her that DH and I are her favorite aunt and uncle, and that Mae is so lucky to have us as parents.  That made my heart feel good.  That shocked me - my brother's ex wife hasn't brought her up learning manners or proper hygiene (isn't that sad?), so I'm really hard on my niece.  She's unbelievably brilliant, so my expectations of her are high.  I love her with all my heart, but it's hard watching a girl with so much brain power fumble through life.  It means a lot that she sees my nit picking as love.

DH cleaned out the garage and mowed the lawn this weekend while I played at the baby shower and sorted through a huge bin of hand me down clothes.  Such a sweetie!  He's also reading some parenting books just for daddy that our MIL sent him on the Kindle.  Because he didn't have sisters and my own father was absent through most of my childhood, he is taking the father-daughter relationship very seriously.  Just the fact that he cares that much guarantees that he will be an excellent papa bear!

My weight gain is at 31 pounds, yick.  It has slowed WAY down this trimester, but I'm not thrilled.  I was hoping to top out at 30.  Maybe I'll lose a little bit in the last month, but if I don't, it's not the end of the world.  I hear that nursing really helps with the weight loss, and I would rather have a slightly larger baby.

[ArtificialRed]

Miranda- I love your story about the carseat. We attempted to install ours last night, and then we realized we had no idea what we were doing. So we came inside and started reading stuff online and our manuals. Should be able to get it taken care of tonight, but we're totally planning on installing it with the seat belt in the middle and latch on a side and rattling it around to see where we can get it the tightest.

Ava's Mama- That's so great that you're mom is going to cook for you! My mom is really unfamiliar with cooking vegetarian/vegan so I don't really know if I can expect much help from her in that area...

Jend- I can't even imagine trying to deal with the loss of a pet right now, I'm so sorry! I hope you'll get to really enjoy your trip!

Hyde- hope you'll be back to 100% soon!

Judy- Sounds so exciting for your husband to finally be ordained! I hope you get to enjoy your trip, and that you'll get a couple cool days to help you out at home!

WCM- I wish I had the stamina you do! I can't imagine working all  the way up to the end. With two daughters at home no less! Way to go mama!

About baby coming on Sept 11- I'm not a big fan either. I think the best way to describe it is that I don't like it any more than I would like the idea of having a birthday on a holiday. Who wants to share their birthday with something (in a good or bad way) distracting?

Things are definitely changing for me. Baby is apparently very low, so I get fun new pressure sensations on my cervix from that. Plus my practice waves (braxton hicks) have changed to sometimes feeling productive, especially at night. I actually let my doctor check me on Friday, because we were worried that maybe he would be here soon based on how many I had Thursday night. I was only a tiny bit dilated, so at this point he's staying put. But my doctor has pretty much said he could be here any time-- probably not too soon and probably not too late. So basically I feel like I have to be ready to have a baby any time in the NEXT EIGHT WEEKS. It's mentally exhausting. I don't want him to be here tomorrow, but I don't want to go to 42 weeks either. I know that this is what having a baby is like, but I guess I never expected to have so much practice and all these indications that he could maybe come early. My mom's and my sister's pregnancies weren't like this at all. The only negative thing I have to say about my Hypnobabies course is that it is preparing me so well for my baby's birth, it's hard to couple these feelings of "I am ready and excited for my baby's birth" with "any time in the next 8 weeks." Ugh, I need my patience back!

[teegan db]

WindyCityMom, I get the same responses from people at work. They're all shocked that I haven't quit yet (at 33 weeks?!?!) and that I'm not bigger than I am (fundal height is spot on, but I don't LOOK that big). When I tell them that I actually feel better when I'm moving around at work and that I really don't plan to stop until labor starts, they usually don't believe me. 

We started a 50/50 raffle at work, too. Customers pay $5, guess the baby's sex, weight, and birth date, and whoever wins gets half of the money - and we get the other half for baby funds! All finances aside (though we do appreciate it), it's been fun having crotchety grown men squint at my belly and then tell me why they're sure of what they guessed. 

For some reason, this past week has seemed like the week the bell's tolling for me. It's the first week my pelvis has started to feel a little loose and wonky. It was the week we finished clearing out the baby's room of all of my stuff, so now it's a chaos of baby things. It was the week after my baby shower, which means now I have to face what's left to buy (not knowing the gender means no one bought baby clothes, and asking for cloth diapers meant no one bought diapers, not to mention all of those other little unromantic things like breast pads and lanolin and thrift store sheets to ruin and all). I DID order our birthing kit Saturday, which definitely felt like a turning point! 

Have definitely been experiencing the racing thoughts in the middle of the night. My alarm goes off at 4:40 am when I work, and though I try to aim for going to bed by 9, it most often ends up being 10. Last night, I was so proud of myself for turning off the light by 9:02 - only to wake up from a dream at 3:50 and only half doze the rest of the night. It was one of those dreams where I knew what it was about even if it didn't make sense, and so all today I've been shaken up with thoughts of who I am as a person. Before I met my husband, back in college, I feel like I was a little more rebellious, a little more spontaneous, more likely to eat skip dinner and stay up late drinking red wine and scribbling fiction. I wasn't accountable to anyone. Since getting married, I've become more regular in my routines, knowing that I'm not the only one who doesn't eat if dinner doesn't get made (though DH is perfectly capable of and, usually, happy to be making his own food. I go to bed when he goes to bed (or when I need to for work). Also, two years ago, we moved 16 hours away from the friends I had in college, and I don't feel like I have those connections with anyone I used to, which means there's no one (except DH, and, when I visit them, old friends) before whom I can be my whole self... Does that make sense? I feel like everyone here knows me as the nice, dependable pregnant married girl. They don't know the girl who broke half a dozen hearts her senior year of college, who went skinny dipping in mountain lakes, who used to walk for hours at night around her college campus and all day around the backroads. And I feel like I don't know how to introduce her to anyone here, even though she's still in there somewhere. 

Sorry to get carried away. I think it's just this new responsibility (motherhood) that feels like the nail in the coffin, like if I don't manage to hold onto the old me, she'll disappear completely. Which is not to say that I'm not THRILLED about this baby, because so much of me is so so so so excited. It's just the vital little part I'm worried will be lost in the shuffle. 

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by ArtificialRed 

Miranda- I love your story about the carseat. We attempted to install ours last night, and then we realized we had no idea what we were doing. So we came inside and started reading stuff online and our manuals. Should be able to get it taken care of tonight, but we're totally planning on installing it with the seat belt in the middle and latch on a side and rattling it around to see where we can get it the tightest.

the middle is the safest position if you can get a good seatbelt install

[ArtificialRed]

Originally Posted by MadiMamacita 


the middle is the safest position if you can get a good seatbelt install

Yeah, I'm really hoping we can use the middle. We have a very small car though (Ford Fiesta) and we'll have to see if the middle seat is big enough to get the base stable and at the right angle. We're also going to get it inspected. At first I thought it was silly to go to an inspection, and then it came time to install it and I quickly changed my mind about that!

[Ava's Mama]

calpurnia - I like your take on 9/11 babies, thanks!

Heartburn - This whole weekend my heartburn was so bad that I threw up in my mouth on numerous occasions...NOT FUN!  I look forward to baby dropping in hopes of it lessening the heart burn.  This baby is going to have more hair than me!

[MamanFrancaise]

Well, I had an awful weekend... It started off great, I slept until 2 pm on Saturday as my daughters were with their dad and I desperately needed to catch up on sleep.

Anyway, to make a long story short I had a HUGE fight with my daughters' father. Normally I would just shake it off but I just couldn't this time. I think I reached my breaking point with him. He doesn't recognize how much I sacrifice so that he can have more of a relationship with our girls. He is already spoiled and entitled because of his mother and so he expects everyone and everything handed to him. So often I bend to keep the peace. Well, this time I had enough and we had a huge blow out. I couldn't stop seething about it afterwards and couldn't sleep that night. Finally on Sunday I was in full-blown anxiety attack mode and called my midwife asking if I could take my anti-anxiety meds because I hadn't even needed them since before I was pregnant. I was crying so hard I'm surprised she even understood what I was saying. LOL

Luckily, my meds were safe to take in the 3rd trimester so that's good. I was feeling 100% better in 30 minutes.

I need to stop giving him everything he demands. I am SO DONE being a doormat for him. Now I need to have a hard conversation with him about me no longer accepting less child support and driving our girls to him for visits when he is perfectly capable. Now that I type it out it seems ridiculous that I have been doing that for so long. He can be a responsible adult for once in life and take care of his responsibilities on his own.

[dmpkmom]

heartburn...I have GERD even when not pg but I actually do believe the raw almonds might just really do something. MW suggested a kale/ almond oil, blueberry smoootie but I just ate it as a salad every day for a few days and amazingly its a tad better (except right about the time I read to my kids at night..this one I have to break out one tums or I feel like a dragon). my biggest complaint is I cannot sleep...it hurts too bad if I sleep on my side b/c of some weird rib cage pain thing (I think its actually scar tissue or a hernia from a surgery to help w/ GERD) and if I sleep on my back I feel like I'm not getting enough oxygen to me or baby. If I try to make a doughnut hole w/ the pg pillow my back hurts.