My oldest, 7.5, has been pretty mean to her sister. Since the day we brought her home, it seems. It's become something of a self-fulfilling problem. DD1 tries to hurt dd2, I come to resolve the problem, scold, and comfort. DD1 likes dd2 even less. She can be meanly competitive, insulting, taunting, you name it.
They are also best friends. We HS, so they are together day and night. When we go out together, they are each other's best allies. I've tried doing things separately, but they always end up asking if the other can come too. They don't want to do things separately and right now, even though I still think it's great when I can, I can't really make it a reality very often.
So, I need to deal with this here, at home. I need to better teach dd2 how to stand up for herself and (more importantly because this is serious) not to internalize the crap that dd1 flings her way. She believes what dd1 says. It just pisses me off to no end.
I would love if they could just wrestle and fight like other kids. Shouting matches--fine. But this passive-agressive assault has me worn down. I need to do....crap... something that doesn't look like I'm rushing to dd2's side because that just seems to compound the problem. Mind, dd1 would be perfectly happy if her sister had nothing, never got her way, always lost....
.....you get the idea.