I discovered last week that I am pregnant. I have a 15 month old boy, of whom i have full time custody, and my partner has 2 children, a girl and boy ages 6 and 5, of whom he has joint custody. Currently, we do not live together, but were seriously discussing co-habitating before I found out I was pregnant. He has a 3 bedroom house, each of his kids have separate rooms.
I have no idea how to do this, what would be best for his kids and what would be best for my son, and the new baby. I don't want his kids to feel like we are intruding on their space, but its a simple fact of mathematics that they will have to share rooms at some point. I have tried discussing this with my partner, but all he comes up with is "we'll just have to figure it out," which to me seems like I just have to figure it out.
I'm about 6 weeks right now, so i have a little time before we move in. I want to make the transition as smooth as possible. I have considered having my son and the new baby share a room, but i don't want it to seem like two separate family living in one house, i would rather us be blended, although i don't know if I'm translating the room situation too literally. But that way i could put a mattress on the floor and co-sleep with both of them since DS is still nursing at night, and having him in bed with my partner seems to affect his sleep (understandably). This, however, would require "kicking out" one of his kids from their room. I don't know what a better option would be though.
It seems that he is a little reluctant to discuss practically what we are going to do, and i don't know if that's a normal reaction because we are moving into their space, or if i should expect him to be more enthusiastic about it. He has wanted me to move in for a while, and i hadn't been ready until recently. So i don't doubt that this is something that he wanted, It's just a difficult situation with the stress of a new baby and blending a family together.
We haven't had a co-parenting talk, and so far we have done okay with that, but i would really like to clarify our boundaries and responsibilities before the new baby comes. I don't know what i should expect of him, and vice versa.
Anyone BTDT? Advice?