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Majorly Unplanned Pregnancy: Emotional Roller Coaster, Scared to Death, Freaking Out!!! - Page 2

post #21 of 32

Just wanted to give you my experience too:

 

We were broke, all odds against us. Our unplanned baby is almost 13 years old now, she's witty, brilliant and compassionate, and my very best friend. Her dad and I went on to have two more children, and although we most definitely went through some pretty hard times, we're all doing great!!! :D

post #22 of 32

@Marsupial-mom    yeahthat.gif

 

Even when you plan everything out, pregnancy can be pretty terrifying.  The fear of the unknown is a big one.  I wish you all the best!

post #23 of 32

Just wanted to add my story:

 

We were also young and broke. My husband (boyfriend at the time) was the only one working, getting paid $8.00 12 hours a week for an internship. We were both finising up our undergrad. We both went to the same private school and have an extremely large amount of student loan debt.

 

We both had to make some sacrifices to make it work as a family, but I have to say it was 100% worth it. So worth it that we are getting ready to welcome #2 into our family.

post #24 of 32

Just wanted to share from the other side of this- my parents were 17 and 20 when Mom found out I was on my way. She was a high school student, he was a college drop-out working at his dad's pizza shop. They got married and I arrived 6 months later. Life was HARD for them. They were young and broke and had no clue what to do with a baby but fast-forward 33 years and they own a beautiful home and drive nice cars and are very happy. They raised not just me but my 3 sisters into strong, independent, kind, compassionate women with a combined 3 bachelor's degrees and 2 masters degrees and 4 successful careers.

 

I realize now what my parents gave up to have me and that they didn't have to do that. They sacrificed careers (my mom wanted to be and could have been a runway model), financial security, living at home with their parents until they were a little older. They went without so their daughters didn't. We didn't grow up with designer clothes or the newest bikes or name-brand snacks in our lunches, but we did grow up with a lot of love.

 

Challenges can be met and overcome and if you want to give this baby a loving home, you'll find a way to do it- my best friend (my mom) did.

post #25 of 32

I also wanted to chime in and suggest, that no matter what you decide, to seek some counseling (lots of free therapy options exist for students). I had some post-partum depression (after my planned pregnancy) and awful anxiety, and I wish I had not waited so long to deal with it (talk therapy helped - no drugs were needed).

 

I also chose abortion when I was 19, and should have had some counseling after that. The pregnancy hormones do a number on you, whether you carry to term or not!

 

And just to share, I do not and never have regretted the choice I made all those years ago, AND I am sad I had to do it. None of the choices are easy, or simple.

 

I also wanted to offer a hug and wish you good luck, mama!

post #26 of 32
My first dd is 5.5 years old, and I had her when I was 20, before I even started my degree. I had no money, and was extremely worried. Looking back now, I realize that I worried way more than I should have, because life works itself out. I've completed my degree now, am stable, and am pregnant with my second child. I have to admit, I stil worry, but I know that one day I will look back at this worry and realize it was all for not, just as it was for dd. Just plan everything as much as you can, that helps me organize my mind and reduce my worry (hug).
post #27 of 32
Thread Starter 

well, things do have a way of working themselves out.  went in for an u/s today and there was no heartbeat.  i am scheduled for a d&c and despite all the stress and turmoil of this unplanned pregnancy, i still feel upset that this is how it's turning out.  anyway, thanks so much to all of you for sharing your stories.  i definitely have a whole new perspective on all of this, and i won't forget any of this when i hopefully become a mother in the future.  best wishes to you.

post #28 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by universalbee View Post

I am a broke, part-time waitress currently in grad school.  Found out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago: major shock and commence daily crying for two weeks.  My bf does not feel ready, and I don't either, but something about going through with an abortion felt really wrong to me.  So, with his support, we decided that while we are broke, we would try to go forward and see what happens.

 

Now, as reality is starting to sink in, I am freaking out.  I started crying in the middle of my run today - what the hell am I doing??  I start an internship next year (at which time surprise baby would be 5 months old) that is unpaid...aaahhh!!  I am already in a student loan financial hole, and I will just be piling onto it, essentially shackling us to a lifetime of poverty, I'm afraid.

 

And, this might be selfish, but I am so scared about what will happen to my body.  I don't want to get fat, I dont want a destroyed vagina, and I don't want to feel miserable and unsexy.  I am also scared that I will never have alone time again - I'm a major introvert and I love being alone.  I am petrified about finances.  I don't want to be a pregnant waitress.  I can't imagine trying to shuffle giving birth and finishing term papers and projects.  I am...freaking out!

 

This is consuming my mind, and I don't know where to turn.  Despite an upcoming bday and mini-vacation, this is all I can think about.  I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this, but I just feel really scared and unsure about what I'm doing.  I wonder if having an abortion would be the right thing after all.  

 

I guess I just need to vent!  I don't know anyone in my situation.  

 

Thanks.

Deep breathes girl! I have had 2 full term pregnancies and have only noticed small changes in my body. A friend of mine had a set of twins and then 2 more children after that and still gets hit on all the time (when not with her kids, haha). The alone time thing, yeah that kinda sucks but you will have alone time just a little less of it. Also, I have been a pregnant waitress twice. People tip better and you get more lee-way (sp?) with your boss and co-workers. Especially as you get bigger. I would say don't have an abortion, you will regret it. But that is just my opinion. You will just have to find a way to get your finances together. I am no help there but if you take it on day at a time you WILL be ok!

post #29 of 32

Oh shoot! I should've read thru all the responses, sorry. Take care of yourself.

post #30 of 32

I am really sorry. You seem so upset, as I would have been in similar circumstances. You have choices so make the one that is best for you and your bf at this time in your life.

post #31 of 32

I'm sorry for your loss.

post #32 of 32

I am so sorry for your loss

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