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31mo behavior: Phase or my problem?

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
My DD is 2.6yo and in the span of 2-3 months has gone from using the potty regularly, talking in almost sentences, brushing teeth, eating a fair amount of solids, not aggressive at all, not many tantrums...

To this:
She refuses the potty. Yells NO! At volumes that we never knew she had. Comes over and scratches me randomly, slaps, kicks. Pees on the couch with a smile on her face. Only eats yogurt, fruit and candy if she cons me into it. Constantly takes bites or sips and spits it out all over the floor. Throws stuff all over the house.

I will calmly get to her eye level and explain why what she did is wrong or hurtful but it doesn't seem to sink in. We don't hit or do time out. Sometimes we do put her in another room and talk to her.

I'm at my wits end. This is not just when she's tired/hungry. This is all day. We moved right at the same time and were stressed. I fear her watching my DH and I fight is showing her this is acceptable behavior. DH is a hot head and explosive and we are working on that. He quite frequently ignores my suggestions and isn't 100% on board with AP or GD.

I try and stay calm but it's hard lately. I think her 2yo molars are coming in but when I check they haven't broken through. She had a rapid explosion in communication from jibberish to full on sentences! In like 2 months.

I need fresh perspective. What is acceptable for a kiddo this age? Is it just the resistant 2yo phase? Help!
post #2 of 5

Hi tillymonster. I see your post has not gotten any replies. I think it may have been missed on a busy day and got pushed down the new threads list. Does anyone have any advice to share?


You might also consider posting to Laura Markham's forum for input. She specializes in all aspects of child behavior, emotional development, emotional intelligence, and parent-child bonding from birth through teens so she may have some helpful suggestions for you.

post #3 of 5

I say age-related phase. My daughter hit the same sort of fan at that exact age. She is now less than 2 months from her third birthday, and we are seeing a lot of improvement as her communicative ability has increased.


My husband and I have speculated that her intellectual ability to communicate is still a good deal higher than her ability to verbalize. We have noticed her communication skills blossom recently, and at the same time have noticed that she is now only acting out (kicking, hitting, screaming) when she is really tired or hungry (and sometimes when she doesn't know how to communicate with her little brother), instead of all the time.


Hang in there!

post #4 of 5

I posted something very similar in the toddler forum a week or so ago.  My daughter is 28 months old and exhibiting many of the same behaviors - and getting her molars, too.  I think I've decided that it's normal development compounded by molar angst.  A double dose of drama!!!  I wouldn't expect anything to "sink in" in a permanent sense.  Still seems a bit too early for that to me... We're having intense tantrums over impossible-to-fix things at night time, too.  Fun, fun, fun.  :)

post #5 of 5
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much ladies! Will be checking that forum Cynthia so thank you.

I think it's age too. I think she understands far more though-- so that makes me a bit nervous as to what to expect on any given day, you know? I hope by 3 which is in December things will calm down. I want to TTC then but worry about how I'll cope with this behavior while pregnant. We decided to space out ages atleast 3 years because both DH grew up in big families that had kids back to back and this to us caused so much competition and sibling rivalry. We want to enjoy her toddlerhood. It sure is draining sometimes.
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