Any Ontario mamas out there with some BTDT advice?

[crunchysamma]

I need some BTDT advice. 

DP & I are taking the plunge into TTC but the planning micro, managing, "i must know every last detail" part of me is going a bit crazy. 

We explored and decided against a KD. 
So now we are back to anon donor using IUI, but still in the planning stages. 

i've heard/read so many conflicting stories and i'm overwhelmed. 

I've been told that OHIP will cover most of the expenses when paired with our medical coverage. But then i've heard that it won't. 

I hear good & bad about every sperm bank in our area. same with the clinics we have around. 

I guess i'm just looking for some "we did it this way, this is our cost, this is our timeline, if we could change ___ this is what we would do" kind of advice. 

/sighs. 

Anyone care to share and ease my slightly neurotic brain?

[pokeyAC]

There are lots of Canadian mamas and TTC'ers on here who I'm sure will have lots of knowledge.  Feel free to join us over at the Queer Conceptions thread when you are ready to dive in.  Good luck!

[carmen358]

I'm in Vancouver but we used a KD.

However, I do know that my extended medical coverage (beyond our provincial coverage) does not carry any fertility treatment. Any ultrasounds, blood tests, etc. are covered but any treatment (drugs, procedures, sperm, etc.) is not.

You could start by asking the clinic you end up choosing - they will likely know what your insurance will cover.

[colsxjack]

We are in Toronto.

Like the PP said, most tests, ultrasounds, appointments, etc are covered. But sperm, IUI procedure, clinic admin fees (if any), meds etc are not. If you have extended health through your employer some meds may be covered, but many fertility meds are not.

How we conceived our kids:

First we participated in a 6 week course through Sherbourne Health Clinic called "Dykes Planning Tykes". They now have courses for trans families and gay men families. This gave us a lot of info about legalities, logistics, practicalities, etc.

We purchased identity release sperm from Xytex. We paid the fee to be able to see extended profiles online. You go to the American site to see extended profiles and then you contact the canandian rep to see if the chosen donor is available. Many are.

However, the Canadian site has very limited info about donors on it.

The hardest part was picking the donor. We are white anglosaxon people and so had an abundance of choice. It is hard to pick from hundreds of possibilities. We found we had to really filter our "wants/wishes" just to get anywhere. It felt weird to make so many choices about the possible genetics of your child.

We started with IUI. You buy 2 vials of sperm and go for lots of appointments and have ultrasounds at almost every appointment. When the eggs are ready you go in for insemination for two days in a row.

We did 4 medicated IUI's. None of them gave us a positive result. (My partner also has PCOS). Each cycle cost $1150 for the sperm and another $800 (i think) for the IUI. We got identity release sperm. Non-identity release sperm is $100 cheaper.

After that we decided to try IVF. It basically costs the same as 4 IUI's but with higher percentage of success and would give us info on my partners egg quality. We got 10 blastocysts from the IVF.

We implanted 1 embryo and got a negative result. The we implanted 2 with FET and got a positive result which is our 3 yr old DD.

We had 7 blasts on ice. We have now gone through three more FET's. The first two we implanted 2 embryos and got early miscarriages with both.

The last one we defrosted 3 embryos and implanted the two that survived the thaw.

We are currently 31 weeks pregnant with twins.

As far as Ontario goes. If you use anon donors than the non birth parent can automatically be on the birth registry as the other parent. You do not have to go through any legal issues to be considered a parent of the child. There is nothing that you have to do other than fill out the birth registry forms and put the name of the other parent under "other parent". The form asks for "Mothers name" and "Other parent".

I am trans, but at the time of my DD birth I was still legally a woman. I did not have any issue with being on the birth registry at all. And I will be on the registry for these children too.

[allisonlee]

My wife and I were (overall) quite happy with our experiences doing IUI at Hannam Fertility Centre in Toronto.

We purchased anon sperm from Fairfax via CanAm Cryo.  The sperm, storage and shipping were by far the biggest costs.  We had to pay a registration fee of $150 at the fertility clinic or so and a "supplies" fee for each IUI of about $25 plus cycle monitoring for $40/mo.  There's a manditory psychologist visit that was paid for by supplimental insurance.  Likewise, supplimental insurance covered perscription medications (progesterone for a few cycles, but not the ones either of us got pregnant on). 

My wife got pregnant in 5 attempts.  The whole process from walking into the clinic to conceiving taking about 9 months.

I got pregnant in 2 attempts.  The whole process taking about 3 months. 

I don't know what other clinics are like, but I think it was good for us that we were very firm about wanting to go unmedicated and that we were only interested in IUI not IVF.  I think some places get pushy, which is fine if you're flexible, but it was not what we wanted and we didn't want to feel that pressure either.  They were respectful of our wishes.  

[onemommyonemama]

We had to pay for sperm from bank (unwashed), $200 for the clinic (one time per year for admin fee), and $300 lab fee for each try for the clinic to wash the sperm. We did not pay for IUI procedure. It was covered by OHIP for us. We were refered by our doctor to the clinic. That might make a difference?

- our fam doc refered us to the clinic ( we loved them).

- We also participated in Dykes Planning Tykes - but hte weekend intesive one because we live out of town. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! :)

- clinic did tests (blood, ultrasound, check tubes are clear, etc...)

- after all tests done met with RE again - encourage unmedicated but gave option of medicated if we wanted. She was clear, unbiased, and gave us pros and cons and why she suggested unmedicated.

- for first babe we had a counsellor meeting as well. This was manditory and it was great - not an evaluation, just gave us resources and info about telling our kids about AI.

- we did unmedicated IUIs. Day 1 (first day of period) we'd call the clinic to book appoint for day 10. From day 10 on we had ultrasounds and blood tests at the clinic each morning to watch for surge to know when to insem.

- at our clinic we did ONE insem. they called the afternoon before (when FSH surged in blood test) to book insem for the next day. DP was in the room with one DR (same for both our kids). The REs were really really wonderful folks. Same with the rest of the staff. We were able to hang out in the room afterwards as long as we wanted (laying down for 10min is supposed to be benefitial)

- getting started again for babe 2 was easy. No counselling, tests for me (DP carried first), then on to IUIs.

In total we bought 3 vials and ended up concieving with 2 of them. We stored them at the clinic. THey never charged us to do that but I think it was a fluke. We were told the sperm count before IUIs.

They were really really great there. We drove an hour to go, and would again even though we live closer to another bank now. they loved seeing our first daugther at appointments for our second :)

please feel free to PM for more info. I'm happy to tell you more about hte clinich and which one by PM.

ALso found Stephanie Brills book helpful. We did chart before hand but didn't chart while doing the IUIs

GOOD LUCk! :)