February '13 First-Time Mamas - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[JessNP]

Wow- miss a day around here and you could miss a lot!

Jenny01 - LOVE your pic!! Looks like the little bean has a hand near his/her mouth- how cute! Did you have that "OMG- there really IS a baby in there" reaction?

I got pregnant completely by accident. I feel a little guilty because I know people who worked so hard TTC. I was actually on the pill. Got really sick & took 10 days of antibiotics. Missed two days of the pill also during that time. Than hubby got sick right after me so we were hardly even having sex. Guess it was meant to be!

Another question: How are your husbands / partners adjusting to this first pregnancy, and becoming fathers?

Hubby is having a really, really hard time. After a couple of miscarriages in our late 20s, we decided that being parents just wasn't in the cards for us. DH initially suggested abortion. After he realized that was never gonna happen he started pushing for adoption. We've been together for 18 years and I love him more than life itself, but I basically told him that I was having and keeping this baby - with or without him. He does not want to lose me and is slowly warming up to the idea. It was such an odd fluke that I got pregnant, I can't help but feel its divine intervention and part of a bigger plan for me - especially since my sister is so horribly ill with breast cancer. 

Homebirthing is not an option for me. Partly because of the Feb due date and also b/c I'll be 42 when I give birth. Hubby owns a snow plowing business that does major commercial accounts and he works 24/7 in the winter. I live in a rural area and I have this horrible fear of giving birth at home, in the middle of a snowstorm and having something go wrong. I would never forgive myself if something happened that could have been prevented/treated. Plus I worked at the local hospital for years, my mom's been there as a nurse for over 20+ years, I know everyone there. I am going to have minimal intervention and go as natural as possible. But - if something does go wrong, I want treatment immediately. 

[Dia]

JessNP, sorry that you're dealing with that, but thanks for sharing about your husband. Part of the reason that I asked is that mine is having a hard time with the pregnancy too (this was unplanned for us), and it helps to know that I am not the only one dealing with that. Some days he seems happy and others, his frustration with it comes out, and that has been so heartbreaking for me. 

By the way, I completely believe in divine intervention / bigger plan / whatever you want to call it. I'm happy for you. :)

[JessNP]

Oh Dia - I'm sorry! You are definitely not alone. It is really hard at times, but something in my heart tells me that they'll come around.  

[waywornwanderer]

How far along are you?

13 weeks 6 days.

How are you feeling?

Pretty awesome, actually. The near-crippling fatigue is cutting me some slack sometimes, and I never experienced true morning sickness per se. Just a little nausea here and there, especially if I haven't eaten recently.

Have you felt movement yet?

No. 

What are your plans for the birth?

I have no idea! My ideal birth would be with a midwife at home, no/low-intervention, with the end result of a healthy mama and babe. But insurance issues and financial concerns could push me to stick with my current OB/GYN who will deliver at a new hospital (opening this September). They allege they support natural birth, eating during labor, and having a partner+doula there. I very much hope NOT to have any sort of intervention, but I will go with the flow as needed to support the safety and welfare of my child.

Is there anything about being pregnant that has been a suprise for you? 

The fatigue, the body issues (how wrapped up I am in weight gain), the constant anxiety that I'm doing something that could harm the baby. I thought I'd be a lot more laid-back! 

Another question: How are your husbands / partners adjusting to this first pregnancy, and becoming fathers?

My husband is stoked. He's always wanted to be a father and hopes to have a large family. He could not be more supportive or excited. Just today, I was expressing anxiety to him about how I "don't feel pregnant" and haven't seen the baby since our 8 weeks ultrasound. He reassured me that he's "certain our baby is just fine in there." I don't know. He's just pretty perfect about it. 

[ISISandOSIRIS]

Originally Posted by waywornwanderer 

iI very much hope NOT to have any sort of intervention, but I will go with the flow as needed to support the safety and welfare of my child.

That sounds a lot like my perspective. I think the most important thing during childbirth is that you feel empowered in owning the choices you end up making.

Dia and Jess I'm so sorry to hear your hubbys are having a rough time adjusting. This is a huge life change and since it wasn't planned, it's only natural they'll need time. They probably need to mourn the much more carefree life they know they are about to lose before they can accept and hopefully enjoy this new adventure.

[waywornwanderer]

I definitely agree. My husband is a medical student, so he doesn't exactly understand my apprehension with the medical establishment potentially dictating things like laboring position, whether I can eat during labor, whether I have an IV/monitor, and how long I'm allowed to labor before pitocin is pushed on me. He's pretty much "just do what your doctors say! Who cares!" But I think I've convinced him to let me hire a doula. That way, I'll have the support I need to make more informed decisions, not ones that are just based on the status quo of the nursing staff and on-call doc. (Obviously my husband wouldn't be a great support in that way. Neither would my MIL or mom, who don't understand why I'd want to try natural birth. I need someone on my team!)

And yes, Dia and Jess... I think/hope/pray your husbands will come around. It's a powerful thing, having a child. I've seen many a man transformed by it ;)

[typebug]

How far along are you?

12 weeks 1 day, due Feb 25th

How are you feeling?

Pretty much fine now. I have a lot less stamina in the heat that I'd like but I'm thrilled to be done with MS. 

Have you felt movement yet? 

No

What are your plans for the birth?

Homebirth with a Midwife & Doula and my OBGYN is arranged as back up at our chosen hospital in case of transfer.

How are your husbands / partners adjusting to this first pregnancy, and becoming fathers?

It took him three days to be able to say the word pregnant out loud. We were only just starting to try (first try like a few others here) and we'd only been in the same country together for a few days out of that month and just enough before ovulation that we both had no expectations. Hah! That'll show us. Anyway he's been really engaged since his initial shock. I don't know how he brings home the bacon and stays up all night doing pressure point for my migraines without complaint. I'd be much more grumpy about it than he's been. ;)   

Is there anything about being pregnant that has been a surprise for you? 

I was surprised at how totally and completely it takes over your body from the start. I was thinking that as a healthy fit person I'd be able to coast through the first trimester with little change to my routine. I had no idea I'd sleep 14 hours a day and be that nauseous and listless. I also thought I would be more emotionally attached earlier. Today is the first day I've felt any emotion other than some trepidation and disbelief. I have a book that talks about this delay and it really is quite a strange thing. Here I was pregnant and for some reason it wasn't real and I wasn't really happy or engaged with the life inside me. And then I bought a onesie today after our 12 week apt and nearly burst into tears when the lady handed me the bag. The flood gates are open. Welcome baby. OK I might need to go cry more. Cheers first time mommies. I love that we have this new place to chat.

[typebug]

Originally Posted by Dia 

I am actually not scared about labor and delivery at all. The sole aspect of it I would be scared of is being in a hospital. I truly believe that would contribute a great deal to pain and anxiety for me. I'm looking forward to peacefully birthing at home.

I know I don't really know what to expect until I am in it, but a very deep part of me says, I already know how to do this.

If that makes any sense :)

I am exactly the same way. Not scared of labour or birth at all. I know if I have the space and control over my environment I'll be fine. As soon as I walk into a hospital I am terrified though. It really is my very worst pregnancy fear.

[iamkateiam]

How far along are you?

14 weeks tomorrow

How are you feeling?

I actually haven't felt too bad.  I had about 2 weeks of feeling nauseous, but other than that I've been pretty good physically.  I've just started getting head aches when I wake up- but after my morning cup of tea they are gone (maybe caffeine related?  I drank a TON of coffee for the better part of 15 years, so maybe my body is still craving it.  I'm down to a cup of black tea in the morning and with lunch).  I've also been getting dizzy if I stand up too fast.

Have you felt movement yet?

no- but we heard it moving around on the doppler at our last appointment! 

What are your plans for the birth?

I am delivering at a nearby hospital with a midwife.  She's awesome and is very open to doing whatever I want to do.  I'd like to do a natural birth, but I'm trying not to be too hard on myself if it doesn't happen- this is my first time after all and I'm not sure what to expect!

Is there anything about being pregnant that has been a surprise for you? 

Mostly just the exhaustion.  And how reluctant I am to gain weight.  I've lost a lot of weight over the past several years and I had no idea how much anxiety gaining pregnancy weight would cause me.  I'm trying to be okay with it- my midwife actually gave me "permission" to gain weight at my last appointment.  I've been trying to keep up with my exercise, but it's tough when all I want to do is sleep!

Another question: How are your husbands / partners adjusting to this first pregnancy, and becoming fathers?

I'm pretty sure he's more excited than I am- and I'm pretty excited!  We're both in our late 20's (I'll be 30 by the time this baby comes), we both have decent jobs, and we bought a house a couple years ago, so we're ready- at least in theory (c:  Honestly, if we could afford it he would be the one to stay home and I would work.  Unfortunately, I am a social worker and that's not going to happen.  I would love to stay home, but he is a bank teller, so that's not happening either (c:  Hopefully we can find a nice sahm in our neighborhood who can watch our little one when we go back to work.

[Dia]

Typebug, we have the same due date! 2/25 :)

Thanks everyone for the kind words about fathers coming around. I do think you're right, it will happen. 

[waywornwanderer]

iamkateiam, I'm totally feeling you on the gaining weight front. I'm surprising myself with how preoccupied I am with putting on the pounds. Of course, some of it is legitimately wanting to "eat healthy for the baby"... but sometimes I think I feel way too guilty about eating things like macaroni and cheese... when I wouldn't have thought twice about it before getting pregnant. It's weird. I know for a fact that some of this is exercise related. I've always been a hardcore runner and suddenly when I got pregnant was diagnosed with a threatened miscarriage. My doctor told me to take it easy and listen to my body, but that most likely I wouldn't be able to run. I've put in a couple of short distance runs here and there, and always end up cramping too much for my own comfort. So, it's disappointing and even with walking and doing light yoga, I feel like I'm turning into a blob!

And I think my husband is more excited than me, too! He "talks" to the baby every night :)

[ISISandOSIRIS]

Just checkin in with the first time mamas. How's everyone doing? Last night, I dreamt I had a toddler and I was trying really hard to use positive discipline as she was being really bratty in a doctor office waiting room. My dreams are so weird lately,

Has anyone else felt the baby yet? I can't say I know for sure, so I'm still saying no. I want to so badly though!

Has anyone started their registry yet? I haven't but I'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed that I'll be 4 months next week.

[Dia]

Hey I and O!

I was just wondering how we were all doing too. And also about the movement question. I am almost 14 weeks...like you, I think I may be feeling something at times, but I am just not sure. Very inpatiently waiting. 

As for me, I have a terrible cold and have discovered how s*&tty it is to be pregnant and sick. Oh man, I am a sad pathetic coughing sneezing and always-peeing lady right now. 

I am leaving for Burning Man tomorrow, a trip we have been planning for a year, far before I become unexpectedly pregnant, there's no backing out now. To say that I am incredibly nervous about it in my state is the undestatement of the year. It is not an easy week for the faint of heart!

How is everyone else doing?

[iamkateiam]

Hi other first timers!

I'm still not feeling any movement but I can definitely feel where my uterus is- and that's weird enough for the right now!  I'm in that awkward phase where I don't really look pregnant, just like I've gained a couple pounds (I'm 15w+3d).  I'm excited to have a real baby belly (and by month 8 I'm sure I'll be ready for it to be gone).  One of my co-workers is 5 weeks ahead of me and has a super cute belly.  My husband started a blog to talk all about becoming a father.  He's the cute one and I'm the practical one.  I haven't started a registry yet, but I've been researching car seats, diapers, etc.

I'm so sorry you are sick, Dia- that sounds awful.  I hope you feel better soon!

[JessNP]

Dia - so sorry you're sick! I hope you feel better soon and can enjoy Burning Man. I still don't feel well most of the time. Get nauseas almost every day (although nothing like before) and still so tired. Not sleeping well and don't have the stamina I used to. Started taking prenatal yoga classes this week. Everyone else in the class is much further along than me and seemed to breeze right through it. I found it more exhausting than relaxing, but I'm going to stick with it. 

In terms of movement, as a first timer, it can take up to 25 weeks to feel the baby move. Once you've been through a pregnancy, the uterine muscle has thinned out from being stretched and movement is much easier to feel. I was surprised that I actually felt something yesterday. I bought a Sonoline b doppler, just because I need some reassurance at times that the baby is okay (being 41 years old, having previous miscarriages, and NOT feeling any movement contributes to my nervousness). Anyway, I was using the doppler yesterday and I felt the baby kick me twice! I was totally stunned - it did not feel like anything I've ever felt before - definitely NOT like gas. It actually felt like being "flicked" from the inside - you know what I mean by being "flicked" or am I totally dating myself here? (Ya know, middle finger off of the thumb). The baby is sitting really low right now, barely above the pubic hair line - which is exactly where I felt movement (and found the heart beat after about 10 minutes of frantically searching). Just in case this helps anyone. 

[Dia]

JessNP, that's so exciting, you're feeling your baby! 

[kellybeth]

it's so nice to see other first time mamas in this group. this is my first post in here, just starting to get involved in the mothering community.

i am at almost 16 weeks. 16 weeks on tuesday.

i feel pretty good, my energy is perking up again. i am very short of breath, but i think a lot of that has to do with the altitude that i am at (8,000ft above) and the air is just so thin here.

the shortness of breath and morning nosebleeds, and stuffy nose paired with the lack of sleep is making me very anxious to move down from the mountain. my fiance and i are searching for a place closer to the doctor and hospital. we live 2 hours away right now. us mountain folk.

i'm very anxious to find out gender. i don't know why, really. i think i just want to know. some people say it will be a surprise if we don't find out, but honestly, it's a surprise either way!

i don't have any friends who have children except for a friend who moved to australia and i miss terribly. it would be nice to be involved in the online community to at least have some grasp of what's going on with other moms-to-be!

[JessNP]

Welcome Kellybeth! I am due on Feb 10, 2013. I don't have any friends or family with young children either. This forum has helped me immensely. Glad that you're here! 

[Jenny01]

Originally Posted by JessNP  I was totally stunned - it did not feel like anything I've ever felt before - definitely NOT like gas. It actually felt like being "flicked" from the inside - you know what I mean by being "flicked" or am I totally dating myself here? (Ya know, middle finger off of the thumb). The baby is sitting really low right now, barely above the pubic hair line - which is exactly where I felt movement (and found the heart beat after about 10 minutes of frantically searching). Just in case this helps anyone. 

Awww that's awesome!  I felt this after my midwife used the doppler on me at 11-12 weeks!  I felt it after the appointment for a good hour or so, and it took me a while to figure out what it was.  It was in the exact same spot that she found the heartbeat.  I haven't really felt much since though!  Maybe next week at our appt it will happen again.

[Jenny01]

Welcome Kellybeth!   I hope you find a suitable home - it does sound like the altitude is affecting you.