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February '13 First-Time Mamas - Page 3

post #41 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by kellybeth View Post

 

i don't have any friends who have children except for a friend who moved to australia and i miss terribly. it would be nice to be involved in the online community to at least have some grasp of what's going on with other moms-to-be!

stillheart.gif

 

Same! I thought I'd know more moms at this point in life but that doesn't seem to be the case. I guess that will change as I get more plugged in after baby #1 arrives. 

post #42 of 65

How far along are you?

16 weeks

 

 

How are you feeling?

Better than before. Still some nausea and puking once a week or so.

 

Have you felt movement yet?

yes I think so and we heard it moving around on the doppler at our last appointment!

 

What are your plans for the birth?

I am delivering at a hospital with a midwife. We also have a doula (who is also a homebirth midwife) and I'm really wanting to use Hypnobabies for labor.

 

Is there anything about being pregnant that has been a surprise for you?

yes, how utterly miserable I was. I have wanted a baby since we got married 10 years ago, so I was over the moon when we got pregnant, and then came week 6 and the beginning of morning sickness. I hated being pregnant, at this point I don't hate it anymore, it's bearable, but for a couple months there I was sure we had made a mistake. I couldn't imagine how I could get through 40+weeks. It's better now, but boy was that a shocker.

 

Another question: How are your husbands / partners adjusting to this first pregnancy, and becoming fathers?

He's amazing, doing the housework, walking dogs, making me food, fetching food, telling me it will be ok, all without complaint. It took him a few years to get on board with the having kids thing, but now that he's in, he's definitely excited and very supportive. He even watched "The Business of Being Born" with me, and he's totally on board with hiring a doula. He's way against a home birth, but ok with a CNM in hospital and staying home as long as possible, so I can't complain. He's really really awesome!joy.gif

post #43 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dakota1235 View Post

Is there anything about being pregnant that has been a surprise for you?

yes, how utterly miserable I was. I have wanted a baby since we got married 10 years ago, so I was over the moon when we got pregnant, and then came week 6 and the beginning of morning sickness. I hated being pregnant, at this point I don't hate it anymore, it's bearable, but for a couple months there I was sure we had made a mistake. I couldn't imagine how I could get through 40+weeks. It's better now, but boy was that a shocker.

 

I felt the same way when I was really sick. There were two days in the peak of it where I literally couldn't get out of bed and I was so miserable that I started seriously wondering if I had underestimated pregnancy and questioning if I was ready. Even now that I feel great and essentially back to normal where it counts, I know that if I had any doubt before about waiting a few years before having another it's certainly been set in stone now.

 

Since I answered these questions so early, I didn't get the one about husbands. DH has been off and on with how supportive he is, and the inconsistency can get really frustrating. He's been improving at cooking and cleaning (though he still makes a point to complain about it), but the other day he was ranting about how "everything is about the baby now" and generally talking about the baby like he/she doesn't exist yet, which bothered me to no end. I think it's pretty telling about the difference between when mothers and fathers bond with their children, since I've considered the baby my child since the little line turned pink but he's still struggling with even being able to accept that there's really a baby coming.

 

I think I would be able to understand where he's coming from if baby was a surprise, but we had been trying to conceive since January (which was his idea to begin with). When he was just sort of neutral about it in the first few weeks, I figured it was because this baby was conceived immediately following a miscarriage and he was worried that I would miscarry again, but there have really only been fleeting moments where he seems excited. Perhaps when he can feel the baby too it'll get better...

post #44 of 65

How far along are you?

17+ weeks

 

How are you feeling?

Pretty much feeling fine. My body's really coped with this well. No nausea, early tiredness and low blood sugar have dissipated and I'm now back to my pre-pregnancy schedule.

 

Have you felt movement yet?

I haven't felt anything that I know for sure is movement. I'm not in a rush for it to happen, but I pay attention to it in quiet moments.

 

What are your plans for the birth?

I really thought that I would want to do a homebirth, but I can't imagine doing it in the condo I live in. I chose to go with my local midwifery practice and will deliver at the hospital. I'm not too worried about the staff getting in my way as a laboring woman--they have a reputation for hands off care.

 

Is there anything about being pregnant that has been a surprise for you?

How easy it is to forget I am pregnant! I'm barely showing and still in my regular clothes, so that helps. I'm happy to not be worried or thinking about it all of the time, and now that I've finally told my mother I don't have that dread looming over me all of the time.

 

How are your husbands / partners adjusting to this first pregnancy, and becoming fathers?

Incredibly supportive. He's reading up on many aspects of childbirth, fathering, my pregnancy etc. He always helped out around the house, but is stepping up more now to help me out when I've had a long day at work etc. I'm happy that we can have this experience together, and I'm also very aware that we are having our own different experiences too.

post #45 of 65

How far along are you?

15 weeks (Due Feb 18)

 

How are you feeling?

Pretty good. I always feel guilty saying this, but the nausea was pretty tame. I made sure to eat first thing in the morning & eat those things that felt good on my stomach, but I know that can only account for so much. Having gotten to the 2nd trimester and being at the point now where pretty much everyone knows, I feel a relief to be openly happy about it.

 

Have you felt movement yet?

It's hard to tell if what little I've felt has been movement or just gas, but I'm looking forward to feeling more definitive movement.

 

What are your plans for the birth?

Hospital birth with OB & doula. I'm 35, not in good shape physically, and have historically been absolutely terrified of giving birth. As much as I harbor great disdain for the medical establishment, I just can't fathom not having the option of the epidural. I am taking a really good prenatal yoga class & plan on learning all I can to relax and trust my body & the process, though.

 

Is there anything about being pregnant that has been a surprise for you?

I expected morning sickness that would last all day and had no clue about the exhaustion, only to get off easy on the nausea and get slammed by the fatigue, lol.

 

I was most surprised by how very loooooooooooong the first trimester seems to take, and how lonely it would feel to not be able to tell people for a while (despite the apps I made use of in connecting with people in my Due Date Month). I haven't been around a lot of pregnant women in my life and am so used to only finding out when they're further along, so that long period where you don't look any different and aren't supposed to risk telling too many people was the biggest surprise - I'd never given much thought to that first trimester.

 

How are your husbands / partners adjusting to this first pregnancy, and becoming fathers?

My hubby has been very loving, although not very curious in reading up on anything or initiating critical discussions. Now that I'm starting to develop a little bump I think it's becoming a little more real to him (plus I've initiated some conversations about stuff like how we're feeling and about names).

post #46 of 65

Anyone else not gaining anything? I figured at week 14.5 I'd see some sort of fluctuation.

post #47 of 65

I am actually back up to pre pregnancy weight. I had lost 5 lbs, so I guess I have really gained 5 lbs. Had I not been watching in early pregnancy, I wouldn't think I have gained yet.... I think as long as you are eating healthy and enough, I wouldn't worry.  Ask your midwife or doc if you are concerned.  I am 17 weeks now and have just gained 4 of the 5 lbs in the last 3 weeks, so really not much gain at 14 weeks.

post #48 of 65

I gained 2lbs, then lost 5lbs, then gained back 5lbs when I was last weighed at my 16 week appointment.

 

I feel like I look like I've gained a good 15lbs, but alas.

post #49 of 65

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one. ;) It sucks to be this bedridden and not have anything to show for it. 

post #50 of 65

Okay - so I guess I'm the only one who has really gained so far. I have put on about 20lbs. I am trying not to panic about it though. The few months prior to my becoming pregnant was when my sister was diagnosed with this rare & highly aggressive form of breast cancer. It was so devastating to my family, that I was barely eating and had gotten quite thin to begin with. Now that the MS is better controlled, I am just trying to focus on eating 100% healthy and hoping that I don't put on too much.  

post #51 of 65
oh jess you are not alone! I have gained about 15 pounds already, and I eat very healthy. I'm not concerned about it though, since every woman and baby is different. I just got some 5# dumbbell weights and need to get a medicine ball. the altitude that I am at keeps me so out of breath that working out is hard. a little at a time I suppose.
post #52 of 65

I've also put on almost 20lbs!  I wasn't even super skinny to begin with, I was just so hungry the first trimester, and if I didn't eat, I felt sick.  Eating healthy was also hard during that time because of the crazy appetite.  So, yeah, you're not alone!  If you were thin to begin with I definitely would not worry about it at all!  I'm fairly tall so it doesn't show too much really, and its all in my stomach and hips/butt.

post #53 of 65
Jess, it sounds like your weight had to stabilize after losing so much due to stress. I tend to lose a lot of weight when severly stressed, so I understand that aspect of it. It's probably a GOOD thing that you gained 20 lbs as much of that is likely healthy, normal weight gain for someone who was a bit thin. The rest is typical pregnancy gain.

It's healthier to be a few pounds over than under.
post #54 of 65

Thank you guys for making me feel better! I keep reading posts about little or no weight gain, and even weight loss at this stage (15-17 weeks) and I felt so guilty about it. Jenny01 - Like you, I felt so sick if I didn't eat and I just had such a voracious appetite - such a deep hunger like I've never felt before - for the whole first trimester. The hunger seems much more "normal" now, but I regret that I've already gained so much knowing that I have 23+ weeks left to go.

 

ISISandORIRIS - I think your right about my weight needing to stabilize. I wasn't trying to lose weight before I got pregnant, I was just so upset and cried my heart out every day for practically the whole month of May. It was just one bad test result and biopsy result after another during that time - plus waiting in-between for each result, hoping for good news that never came - that was the worst part about this whole thing. Once we had the bottom line diagnosis and started to focus on treatment, it was difficult, but seemed less stressful than the waiting. I am still shocked that I got pregnant during what was probably one of the worst months of my life!

 

Thanks again for the support! hug2.gif

post #55 of 65

I've gained 8lbs so far (16 weeks 5 days).  I didn't have any vomiting the first trimester, but like a lot of you if I didn't eat carbs (mostly bagels) I felt sick.  I started out this pregnancy overweight (around 200lbs) but that was a 100lb drop from 4 years ago (I was 300lbs at my wedding in 2008).  It's really hard for me to see the scale go up, but my midwife isn't concerned so I guess I'm not either.  That's a lie- I'm concerned, but I'm trying to be brave about it orngtongue.gif

post #56 of 65
Thread Starter 

Hey first time mamas! I wanted to bump this up. How is everyone doing? 

 

I'm beginning to feel the baby move. This is the one thing I have greatly looked forward to in pregnancy - it is magical! I am almost 18 weeks. 

 

I'm trying to decide on the 20 week anatomy scan right now. I really didn't want any ultrasounds during the pregnancy, and my MW says the decision is completely up to me. I'm considering it because my husband really wants to know th sex, and I like the "peace of mind" aspect of seeing the baby. But I am still struggling a lot with the decision. This probably sounds silly, I know most people do this scan. Any been there / advice is welcome. 

 

How is everyone else doing? 

post #57 of 65

I'm doing great and feeling the baby move all the time now. Last night I was poking around and actually felt the outline of some part of baby before I got a good whack for invading her/his space.

 

I'm also absolutely climbing the walls waiting for my ultrasound next Thursday (21 weeks). I've known about this appointment since around 9 weeks and it's felt like FOREVER waiting to get to this point. I'll be really disappointed if baby isn't cooperating and we don't find out the sex from that scan, so I'm trying not to think of that as a possibility right now.

post #58 of 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dia View Post

Hey first time mamas! I wanted to bump this up. How is everyone doing? 

 

I'm beginning to feel the baby move. This is the one thing I have greatly looked forward to in pregnancy - it is magical! I am almost 18 weeks. 

 

I'm trying to decide on the 20 week anatomy scan right now. I really didn't want any ultrasounds during the pregnancy, and my MW says the decision is completely up to me. I'm considering it because my husband really wants to know th sex, and I like the "peace of mind" aspect of seeing the baby. But I am still struggling a lot with the decision. This probably sounds silly, I know most people do this scan. Any been there / advice is welcome. 

 

How is everyone else doing? 


great thread bump, dia!

 

i have also started to feel occasional flutters of the baby, more so in the afternoon when i am still, or when i am sitting in the car. we live down a long dirt road and i'm pretty sure the baby hates the bumpiness of it and just kicks me.

every time i feel the baby i smile and hold my growing belly. it's almost like a secret just between the baby and myself. so beautiful.

 

i have had 2 ultrasounds already, the 12 week and one when i had a bleeding scare a couple weeks later (everything was fine!)

 

i am at 19 weeks +1 day today, and am having my scan late next week. i am super excited to know the gender! i'm hoping that it's not being modest and hiding. i'm so anxious. if we can't tell at this scheduled scan, i will schedule another one.

 

i feel like my fiance and i can really connect with the baby and start picking out names and such, not to mention buy baby furniture, etc. since we haven't gotten a thing yet. we believe that if you find out at 20 weeks, or if you find out at birth, it is still a surprise.

 

i am so excited to be a mama! stillheart.gif

post #59 of 65

I'm about nineteen weeks along now (depending on which of my two "due dates" we're using) and we just had our anatomy scan yesterday. I think that I may be like you in future, Dia, in refusing unnecessary ultrasounds for future babies.

 

But we had some complications early on in this pregnancy, and it's our first little one, so my husband and I were both happily looking forward to a little "relief" in seeing our babe on screen for the anatomy scan. (We'd also had two other three other ultrasounds done previously, in relation to the complications.) It didn't disappoint! We were so happy and relieved to see her- and found out she's a she! So lovely. I know it's silly, but the ultrasound tech and I were talking about how the in-utero "personality" can manifest later on in life. This little girl is definitely a mild one. Her movements are slow and deliberate. I've been feeling her for about a week, but was doubting myself because of how softly she moves sometimes. The only time I can REALLY feel her is when she stretches out or hangs out down low in my uterus. When she does that, you can feel her from the outside :)

 

kellybeth, my ultrasound did help me "connect" more with my child. Not that I didn't love her before, but she was much more vague. And my pregnancy symptoms have been so mild, sometimes I doubted whether there was a baby in there at all. ;) 

post #60 of 65

I had my 20 week last week and it really was a turning point for both myself and DH. My biggest concern was making sure the baby was developing normally and free from any potential problems. The scan assesses many important factors, including fetal brain structures to ensure there are no blockages or "water on the brain," checks the face for cleft lip, checks the internal organs such as kidneys, bladder, stomach, and intestines (some defects can be corrected in-utero), checks the spine for neural tube defects like spina bifida, checks the umbilical cord to ensure it has the proper number of blood vessels and enters the baby's abdomen correctly, checks the baby's bone measurements to assess overall growth is normal, and assesses the baby's heart and main vessels for abnormalities. In addition, the scan also looks at the uterus, the amniotic fluid and the cervix (which is important, as an abnormal cervix can put you at risk for pre-term labor). 

 

Having the test done and knowing that everything is normal has given me significant piece of mind (of course there are no guarantees, but the odds of having a healthy baby have improved significantly). Knowing the sex of the baby has helped both DH and I see her as more of a unique person, e.g., "she's kicking a lot right now" vs "the baby is kicking..." Also, talking about names and looking at  baby gear that is not so "gender neutral" is fun (So sick of yellow and green). Actually seeing her in 3-D was mind-blowing for DH and myself. DH was especially moved seeing the 3-D views of her face, hands and adorable little feet - got a great shot of the bottoms of both feet - and watching his reaction really moved me to tears. (Thank God, he has done a complete 180, as he was less-than-enthusiastic about this pregnancy for awhile).

 

The most unexpected surprise - as kellybeth and waywornwanderer mentioned - is how I feel a much deeper connection to my little girl now. I'm sure that being 20+ weeks helps, but I've become much more aware of her movements and I can actually sense exactly where she's hanging out at different times (lower left when she's quiet, mid-belly just under the belly button when she's active). It has helped me become more tolerant of some of the unpleasant side effects of this pregnancy. Instead of feeling frustrated when I'm tired and "pushing myself" to get things done, I just kinda go with it and say "ok, you need mommy to slow down...lets relax for awhile." Same thing with this God-awful MS I still have - it just doesn't upset me anymore. I deal with it and it passes eventually. 

 

Sorry so long! And Dia -  I'm not trying to push you into something that you don't feel comfortable with. Just sharing my experience as a fellow first-time mama. If you do decide to have it done, I don't think that you'll regret it. heartbeat.gif

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