February '13 First-Time Mamas - Page 4 « Back to Group Discussions

[Teles]

I agree completely with the sense of calm that comes with finding out more about baby. I've had monthly doctor visits, maternal serum blood tests twice, and multiple HCG checks in early pregnancy, in addition to an early ultrasound at around 8 weeks and one coming up at 21 weeks (Thursday).

I can say with confidence that I'll always choose to do all of things in future pregnancies that I have done in this one (except maybe the first ultrasound, but that was only because my first pregnancy ended in early miscarriage). I find myself hearing about all these terrible worst case scenarios and worrying about them, but when I get news like "you're chances of having a Downs baby are the same as a 15 year old", it buys me a lot of peace and I get to enjoy my pregnancy for a while.

I'm really looking forward to the upcoming ultrasound for the same reasons that you listed, Jess. I know that once I know the sex and get to see that things look okay in there, I'll feel so much happier and more bonded to baby. Every new thing I learn makes me feel a little closer to him/her.

Also, I am now able to interact with baby via the poking game. I poke in one spot and keep my fingers gently poking in until baby kicks them, then I move to a different part of my belly to poke and baby shifts over to kick/punch there too. It's really fun and feels great to be able to have baby interact with us
 

[buko]

I agree completely with the sense of calm that comes with finding out more about baby.

It's so interesting how different reactions can be, because I feel almost the opposite (and I had a ~10 wk loss with my first pregnancy, just before this one).  I mean, not the opposite, like more information would necessarily make me more anxious-- but I have actually felt more peace not constantly checking in with things.  As I said in the March group (I'm due March 1)...

It's not that I don't have some worry, and some "loss of innocence" d/t the miscarriage.  I have actively worked on having faith and being grateful for each day.  In fact, it was extremely useful for me to wean myself off of looking at my TP every time I wiped (and thanks to hormones, I went to the bathroom literally 15x/day, so there was a lot of checking!)  My m/c was preceded by spotting, which, while truly scanty, occurred nearly every day for weeks before I really started bleeding/losing the pregnancy.  The spotting was what made me think something was up, even though it truly, theoretically could have been "nothing."  Sadly, that spotting wasn't nothing.  So with this one, I had my heart in my throat every time I went to the bathroom.  And I realized that, even though the "news" was ALWAYS good, I was just perpetuating a cycle and need for that sort of... "positive reinforcement."  You know-- 1 o'clock and all's well.  1:30 and all's well.  2 o'clock and all's well.  But it never ends.

Even though every wipe was "good," my reassurance was only as good as my last wipe. 

I decided since I had no control over this process, I was going to try to trust rather than constantly second-guess what amounted to, in my mind, G-d.  I even declined the doppler at my MW's appointments, and plan to wait to hear baby until he/she can be heard by fetoscope. 

For me, with my obsessive nature, I guess I feel like more information... especially more frequent information... isn't always better for my mental state.  (I mean, I do have "information," but it's direct information from my body more than anything else.)  I know that's an atypical way of thinking after a loss, especially, and it's surprised me more than anyone.  I'm a very science-y-minded person, really. 

[Dia]

Thanks JessNP, Teles, and Buko for sharing your thoughts about the anatomy scan.

I still am not sure what I want to do. I feel really nervous about anything high tech or medical coming anywhere NEAR my baby and body. I just do not want ultrasounds. I am sure that does not sound entirely rational, but it is how I feel.

I would love to know the gender, and it would be mind blowingly awesome to see my child. So there's that, too. 

Anyways, thanks for sharing your thoughts. 

[Madefromscratch]

Joining late, but excited to have some pregnant buddies finally!

How far along are you?

19 weeks +.  Supposedly due February 19, but I'm just telling people late February.

How are you feeling?

Finally good!  Never had anything dramatic to complain about, except some vicious smell and food aversions (see ya, coffee my longtime friend).  Never threw up, although I wished I could.  Up until about 15 weeks, was SO tired that it was hard to get any work done (I'm self-employed and work from home), so I've had to deal with some guilt about that.

Have you felt movement yet?

Even as we speak!  First fluttering at 13 weeks, then tiny little movements every once in a while since then.  Have felt the occasional "flick" that someone was describing--that's exactly the right word for it.  In the last weeks (18 & 19) it's started to be more like a brief rumbling, like when your stomach churns but with no discomfort.  I'm so impatient for movement!

What are your plans for the birth?

We are excited to be planning a home birth!  I knew I wanted a midwife and when I found one I also found out that home birth was an option.  In the last few months, I think I've gone from being intrigued by the idea, through some feelings of fear about the process and how to "justify" it to concerned loved ones, to being more and more convinced that this is a good, wholesome, and, yes, "safe" way to do things since I'm not high-risk.  The next step may be fanaticism and homebirth activism, but I'll try to hold back :).

Is there anything about being pregnant that has been a surprise for you?

I didn't know that I wouldn't want to tell anyone.  The secret is so sweet to keep at first, and I found myself enjoying the silence.  Even though we've told our family and lots of friends by now, I have this strange aversion to talking about it on facebook;  I haven't "officially" announced it on facebook, and I'm not sure I will.  Something about it is just too public and weird for me.

Another question: How are your husbands / partners adjusting to this first pregnancy, and becoming fathers?

I am very blessed and thankful--my husband was right in it with me from the first!  This pregnancy was a surprise, but I think we're taking it in stride; I mean, it's part of the whole being married thing, for richer/poorer, with or without child (my paraphrase) and all that.  He has surprised me by displaying signs of domesticity, cooking a lot more (I think my food aversions helped with that) and taking care of SO many things that I didn't feel up to in the first trimester.

Well, this is long.  Thanks for listening to me over-share!

[kellybeth]

Originally Posted by Madefromscratch 

Is there anything about being pregnant that has been a surprise for you?

I didn't know that I wouldn't want to tell anyone.  The secret is so sweet to keep at first, and I found myself enjoying the silence.  Even though we've told our family and lots of friends by now, I have this strange aversion to talking about it on facebook;  I haven't "officially" announced it on facebook, and I'm not sure I will.  Something about it is just too public and weird for me.

welcome to the group!

and i'm with you on the facebook thing, though i only post photos on fb, as a rule, never words.

i put up a bump photo on fb at 18 weeks, which 90% of my family missed-their loss. i'm not a friend-adder, or in close-touch with family/friends, since my fiance and i are very private people.

i think it's wonderful to have a secret, and to bond with the baby and feel that beautiful bump growing each week.