This is a wise group. Maybe you all have some insights or intuition that could help me approach this conversation with DH, and perhaps with others after that.
One of my BFFs is a doula. She was there with us when DS was born. It was ideal. So ideal that I have struggled to envision what this birth will be like without her there. We live overseas now so she can't exactly be on standby like she was last time. I've thought about hiring a doula but that's not sitting right with me. I've realized it's important to me that I have someone from my inner circle there.
My parents will be here for several weeks before and after my EDD so it's quite likely that my mom would be available if we wanted her there as a birth support person. I'm not sure if I want to invite her ino that role or not. We've had a hot/cold relationship in the past. It's mostly hot recenly, though things are maybe a bit cold beyween her and DH. And he's my #1 labor support person, no matter what. But then I hear a little voice saying that including her in the brith could be a beautiful and healing thing for all of us. She's had three kids in the hippie tradition so I know she'd back us up on medical decisions and stuff, the hesitation is more about power dynamics.
My sister will be here for a shorter time, but again right around my EDD. She would be AWESOME to have in the room. She has no kids and doesn't know the first thing about birth. I worry that she would feel overwhelmed. What I really need is someone to hold space, hold my hand (DH isn't naturally very "touchy", he'll need back-up), and tell me I'm doing an amazing job. I think she could do it but I don't know if baby will even come while she's here. Mom, OTOH, will be here unless baby is several weeks early.
Another option is to just have DH there. That's not resonating with me. He's amazing in many ways yet I really feel a push to bring the feminine into my birth space if that makes sense. I can picture myself birthing alone on my kitchen floor while DH is at work and DS is in school. I guess it's good to know that I could do it alone if it came to that. I'd almost rather do it alone than with just DH.
We expect to birth at a birth center with a midwife in attendence, if that makes any difference.