June Mamas April 18-24 - Page 3

[liz-hippymom]

i am so happy! i just got back from my midwife appointment, and my baby turned! shes been breech for a while but now she i head down. so THATS why i seem bigger all of a sudden..i really thought i looked small till sat, when i caught a glimpse of myself in a reflective doorway- and thought "who is that whale? " :LOL
i guess its cause she changed positions! plus- i asked my midwife about how big she was and she said around 5 pounds. sounds good- in another month that should make her 7-9 pounds... they gain 1/2 to 1 pound per week in the last month right?

[Greaseball]

Dh took some pics of my belly at 33 weeks and I compared them with the belly pics from #1 at 37 weeks, and I actually look a little bigger this time! This baby is still posterior, but they said "A lot of babies are, and they still come out!"

[LizD]

It is a superstitious time, even for us modern intellectuals. I also will open a book and see that the page fell open to listings for downs syndrome organizations or some other thing and get very paranoid and upset and wonder why I didn't have testing and so on. And remember a quote from 100 Years of Solitude about Fernanda not having the courage to drown the baby in the cistern! Or I think about placenta previa and so on, various things that wouldn't necessarily have come up by now. Before the baby was viable I was obsessed with preterm labor/miscarriage since it would be impossible, literally impossible, to convince my husband to have another baby. Now I even keep the labels for things in case they have to be returned, like it's tempting fate to buy too much before it's born or something. This is common in some cultures and I had a neighbor in Georgia who would not come near our house while she was pregnant because our rabbits lived on the porch and if she came near them the baby might have a harelip. So most of the time I try simply to stop having those thoughts, not even reason with them, because reasoning, when you know too much and work in childbirth and have stacks of medical books, is useless.

I am almost 32 weeks and larger than I was when my daughter was born at almost 38, so I get worried about that too. But the size of the uterus is exactly average and my weight gain is even a little on the low side. I'm just enormous.

[Greaseball]

I had a really disturbing dream about a stillbirth and after that I was thinking, oh no, it's a sign! But then I also dreamed I gave birth to a cat, so...:

I also declined the u/s and AFP test and then wonder if the baby had a horrible fatal birth defect that I would have been prepared for if only I had taken the test.

But I'm always thinking stuff like that...I still check dh and dd at night to make sure they are breathing.

[3girlsmommy]

I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one that worries that something is wrong w/ the baby. I was certain that at my 19 week U/S the tech was going to tell me something was wrong. I was so relieved when she said everything looks great! For me it seems to get worse w/ each pregnancy. W/ my first I was completly clueless so nothing bothered me.

Oh and whoever said that too many hicups is a bad sign well I have the two hiccup queens! My oldest two had the hiccups several times a day when I was pregnant for them. My oldest still gets them frequently. I think the reason is because she is such a spaz!

Gotta get to work! HAve a great night everyone!

[LizD]

The fact that there is worrying is actually a good sign, according to such people as T Berry Brazelton. If you are worried about your unborn baby you are attaching to it, you are committed to the health and wellbeing not only of the baby but of the tribe or family and so on. So many of these "irrational" responses are biological in origin and fulfill needs we are barely even aware of.

One of my favorites is that people are more likely to say that a newborn looks like its father despite any objectively observed resemblance. This is thought to come from a need for the individual animal and its community to establish paternity, which from that standpoint is always theoretically in question.

I have lots of bh ctx and lots of movement still, which is growing uncomfortable because whoever is in there is getting very big and strong. While it is mostly in its favored spot, in recent weeks it has really turned every which way, every hour of every day. I don't know when this baby sleeps. And when it turns about now it is a big lurching deal that is sometimes just short of painful, though better than the almost constant punching on the bladder or cervix I experience at certain times of day.

I know "most" subsequent labors go faster but my first was so fast and easy I am growing a little concerned about a long or difficult labor. I would never want to go to the hospital and I know I would never ask for pain medicine, but I am sometimes wary of assuming it will be early like the last time and just as quick if not quicker. Probably also that insurance-against-being-proven-wrong. Until recently I worried it will go so fast the midwives won't get here in time.

I have decided rather than point people to a registry I am going to ask for gift certificates to the babiesrus empire and diaperaps. Since I only need a few expensive items I am just not comfortable making a registry. I made one for myself so I could bookmark the things I have decided on, but can't bring myself to make it public. It only has six or seven things on it anyway!

[mattjule]

LizD-the only thing I would caution against with the gift cert plan is that gift certs are not very fun to give as gifts. I personally would make something rather than give a gift cert and I know a lot of other people that will guess instead of giving them. Your registry may be sad, but I would advise you ask for the certs but make the registry available as well. Presentation of gifts is so important to me and a cert seems so...impersonal and not thoughtful, even if it is requested.

As far as problems go, I subscribe to the "ignorance is bliss" school. In most things I like to be overly informed, but after my one diagnostic u/s says everything major is good, I'd rather not know the what ifs. I am prone to anxiety attacks anyway so I try not to set myself up for them. I do check to see if ds is breathing at night still, but only if he has slept without moving for hours. I like to assume everything is okay. I grew up in a family with lots of medical emergencies, so I know what to do if something goes wrong and I know that most likely it will turn out okay. In the meantime, there is no purpose to panicking over things. I was mentioning this on the toddler forum-a mom said she never let her kids take their shoes off at parks with sand b/c cats go to the bathroom in it. I think you can't protect your kids from everything and trying to do so only makes them neurotic and afraid. And I have never seen any sort of feces or other potentially dangerous things in the sand at our parks. I take my shoes off, too. Maybe it comes from growing up in the country. I never wore shoes. My parents had an orchard that was irrigated with canal water. I don't know how many of you are familiar with canals, but that is some of the nastiest, germiest stuff I can think of. And we played in it every time they irrigated. Somehow we all turned out okay-none of us even got giardia (which is a bit of a shock when you think about it). So I think about my childhood and I raise my ds similarly. Not that bad things don't happen, but the incidence when compared to all the times that go well is so low...

I took a new friend of mine to my mw appt today. She asked lots of questions and may be considering a hb. She is due the same month as us so that is a big decision. I just met her, but she is so awesome, I am really thankful we are getting to know each other. My appt was uneventful, as usual. I gained 3 lbs in the last 2 wks. I am pretty much resigned to the fact that I am a gainer. I have been doing so much better with my diet and my weight gain did slow a bit, but not much. At least I am still younger and I don't have to worry about that over 30 metabolism change that can be really rough postpartum. And I lost 80 lbs in 6-8 months last time so I know my body is going to need those reserves, especially since I will be tandem nursing. Everything else was good. Rowan has pretty much settled into the same position Tain did about this time and he stayed that way until birth so I think it will be similar.

Oh, here is a weird thing. Tain loves to poke my belly button (it is not fun. He has sharp little finger nails no matter how short I clip them and he picks at the little nub in the middle, my belly button is scabby a lot. That or he pokes really hard). Anyway, he does it most often when we are nursing to sleep and a little after he unlatches. Well, always about 5 or so minutes into it, Rowan starts kicking up a storm. Does anyone know if your belly button is linked to anything by nerves? It seems to happen more with the picking than poking...Dh says that when someone sticks their finger into his belly button, it makes him feeling like he is peeing. Same thing with other guys I've talked to. So what is it linked to in us?

[lilzark]

Greaseball, you dreamed you gave birth to a cat? So did I! It was a full grown calico cat. We wrapped it in a baby blanket, and then we were trying to decide whether the cat baby should be treated differently from our 'real' cats. :LOL

I haven't been here in a while... my last appointment the mw said everything is okay except my belly measures kinds of small. (30 wks, 28cm) So if I am still small next time they send me for an ultrasound. I haven't had an ultrasound since I was 6-7 wks and had a little bleeding. There is always something to make me paranoid. Anyone been through this belly measurement thing?

(Edited for a typo.)

[seedling]

Julie, I totally agree with you about the whole barefeet in the sand thing and that approach to child rearing. I mean, you CAN be overly protective and that is just as harmful to your kids as what you are trying to protect them from. I grew up on my grandparents farm running barefoot and wild and it was a fantastic thing. I went swimming in irrigation ponds, swimming in old rock quarries, etc. A little dirt and germs can be a good thing.

LizD, I hear you about the uncomfortable movements. I am glad the baby is moving because it is reassuring but sometimes it almost hurts.

I'm also concerned that I may have sugar coated the memories of my first labor in my mind. I am hoping to not be thrown off by a harder or longer labor.

Well, it's really late and I have an appt with my midwife in the am. It's time to get off the computer.

[Doodlebugsmom]

I think you can't protect your kids from everything and trying to do so only makes them neurotic and afraid.

Julie, I couldn't agree more. I always went barefoot as a child. I grew up in the country too. West Virginia, where we're just a bunch of non-shoe wearing hillbillies anyway! :LOL Well, I still can't force myself to put shoes on in warm weather. I honestly can't do it! As a result, my feet are ALWAYS dirty in the summer. When I was a teenager, my mom would get so mad at me for getting in bed with dirty feet!

I have been having quite a few labor dreams. It's always a fast and easy labor. I had the same dreams with dd and they came true for sure. I'm hoping this labor is a little bit longer with more regular contractions. I would really like to be able to feel my contractions before I'm in transition. Although, I keep thinking that an unassisted homebirth wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

[eilonwy]

*sigh* Eli does not want to wait to learn to use the potty-- he is desperate to get out of diapers now. I'm incredibly frustrated; I really don't have the wear-with-all to bend and chase and whatnot. Catching (and missing) one poop and one pee today has totally worn me out! I feel really guilty about it, because he's so totally ready and I'm so totally not. It's backwards.. aren't parents generally ready for potty learning before their kids are? I may have to kick Mike into doing this when he's home... but somehow, I doubt that will happen. It's all I can do to get him to carry laundry up and down the stairs. He doesn't realize how important it is to me to have this place some kind of reasonable before the baby is born.

I've been looking for girly clearance online, and I can't find anything.. all the summer stuff is gone already . I'll feel really bad if she doesn't own a single girly outfit, if everything is hand-me-downs from her brother or gender neutral stuff I picked up at the big clearance sales. It's such a bummer! I'm going to have to look harder! :LOL

Eli's asking to nurse. Maybe he'll fall asleep. :LOL

[dharmama]

Personal question

Ummmm...how's the love in your house these days???? :

I was feeling VERY sexy for most of my pregnancy but it's like I've hit a wall. I have lost ALL interest in sex. I feel SO swollen and huge and exhausted. But at the same time I'm feeling bad for DH. He's such a trooper and would never complain but honestly it's been a loooooong time.

Last night we tried and it was SO awkward...we just could not find a position that worked...very frustrating....and I still have 8 weeks to go...

~Erin

[eilonwy]

:LOL The love's pretty good around here... but things are so different from the way they were before Eli was born!

Once upon a time, I felt like I had to beg all the time. I was much more interested than Mike was. He felt like he was working, it was literally a chore for him, and I was barely getting by. :LOL When I got pregnant with Eli, I fell asleep for the entire first trimester and when I was awake I was sick, so I wasn't asking nearly as much and I got almost as much as I wanted. :LOL The second trimester I was back to begging again, but by the third I'd started in with preterm labor and I was really huge and uncomfortable and *he* started begging. He was pretty unhappy until about 8 weeks pp.

Since then, we run for the bedroom every time Eli is asleep and both of us are awake. It's really very funny. :LOL He goes down for a nap, we look at each other and it's a race to see who can get there first. :LOL : So niether of us is begging, niether of us is getting as much as we'd like, but when we do we're both really happy! It's a nice change of pace for me, not to feel like I'm desperate all the time and for him not to feel like he's doing another household chore. I'm just now getting to the point where most positions are uncomfortable, but Mike is so happy that I'm not homocidal and angry and miserable all the time that it doesn't matter too much. We're doing just fine.

I am not feeling too well today. I've got this dull backache that won't go away, a headache, and I'm vaguely nauseated. Eli's being really sweet, but he doesn't want to stay in bed all day. And he still really really wants to be out of diapers. If I wasn't afraid of someone calling CPS, I'd let him run naked in the backyard all day and try to put him on the potty when he looks like he's about to go... *sigh* I feel so bad for him, he's really trying and I'm just not with it at all. All I want to do is go back to sleep.

[Smithie]

the lovin' in our house...

... is pretty darn pathetic, although we're doing really well on the hugging/cuddling/treating each other nicely front. I think dh is a little freaked out by my hugely pregnant body, although he would never admit it in a million years. The position issue is also vexing.

Rynna, it SUCKS that Eli wants to do the potty thing (with all the attendant bending and stooping) right now. Can you beg for a weekend visit from a nonpregnant friend/relative? If he's really ready, then a couple of days being chased around after and reminded might be all he needs...

[ksjhwkr]

Originally posted by liz-hippymom
i cant move without sharp pains..its my pubic bone, and tailbone, and all the mucles, nerves, tendons underneath me...the pain goes all down my thighs. i have been having this pain for a couple of months now, but it is SOOOO bad after walking so much yesterday. its bad when the thought of sex or walking around the block makes you shudder in fear...

I totally understand that!! I feel the same way. Is there a chiropracter in your area that you trust? I have been seeing one who does Webster Technique (dd was footling breech, don't want that to happen again!) and she adjusts my pubic bone. It makes it feel SO much better. I can actually have sex without pain now! Just a thought.


oh, and i am sick of eating..the the food that tastes good is a guilt trip for me cause it's not healthy..
just one more month...right? RIGHT??? :LOL [/B]

All I want is the really yummy unhealthy stuff too. I have been LOVING pudding lately. It's not TOO bad, but not as good for me as say, carrots! One more month...you can do it!

[eilonwy]

Re: the lovin' in our house...

Originally posted by Smithie

Rynna, it SUCKS that Eli wants to do the potty thing (with all the attendant bending and stooping) right now. Can you beg for a weekend visit from a nonpregnant friend/relative? If he's really ready, then a couple of days being chased around after and reminded might be all he needs...

Unfortunately, that's unlikely to happen. My mother can't bend over any better than I can (she's still having problems from her concussion) and my sister was rear-ended yesterday & had been having back problems before that.. she's probably miserably whiny right now. I might ask MIL about it, but I have a feeling that she'd rather keep the carpets clean, iykwim. (We'll be there Saturday, but probably not Sunday as I don't think Mike's ready to deal with the whole church issue yet.)

[Smithie]

Well, if I were there, I would come over.

[dharmama]

we're doing really well on the hugging/cuddling/treating each other nicely front

Yeah...we are too. VERY important!

[Greaseball]

Sex is usually possible, but I look forward to having *real* sex, you know? Not just "OK, I think this will work" sex.

The outer vaginal territories are really bothering me. It hurts when I walk, especially up stairs. I don't get it...the head is not engaged, so why would I be feeling all this pressure in the labia?! This didn't happen with #1.

[dharmama]

Sex is usually possible, but I look forward to having *real* sex, you know? Not just "OK, I think this will work" sex.

I felt that way after TTC for so many months. Once I was finally pregnant it was like woo-hoo....we can just have sex without any pressure...whenever we want to!

Oh and my labia is (are??) really swollen. It's been that way for a few weeks...and then there's the rhoids...it's just not a good scene down there. :LOL