The respite thread got me thinking....
I'm a newbie foster parent and I worry a lot about doing things just right for the kids. I talk to my licensing worker and ask her advice, and she laughs at me (in good fun), saying that there is nothing (in the bounds of allowable foster parent behavior) that I can do to harm the kids.
Day care? Doesn't matter if I send them, how long I send them, or which one I send them to. Do what's going to give me a break and make things easiest for me, not
Discipline? Timeouts. Let them cry. Leave them alone to have a tantrum.
She has told me about one lady who does baby/toddler (1-2 year olds) fostering and respite care, and how she handles the little ones' whining. Basically tells them to keep singing, it's music to her, and she keeps on going about her business.
Sometimes I think she makes a lot of sense and her advice is a good way to keep my sanity. But a lot of this goes against my grain and doesn't seem very gentle/helpful for bonding. But I keep hearing that they don't need gentle, b/c anything's better than what they came from... Which of course is also very different than what we were told in training, which is use a light touch....
What do you all think? Especially if you're more inclined to use GD methods with your kids, do you do the same with foster kids or are you more.... harsh <?> with them?