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Weird jealousy sometimes, Am I the only one?

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 

I feel like this is kind of stupid and immature of me sometimes I get jealous of DH eating out a lot.   I feel like I am always eating random stuff/leftovers for lunch and he frequently gets to eat out.  Often it's on the company dime or for a meeting so I get that but sometimes it's just cause he doesn't plan ahead enough  (After 8 years I have given up on trying to get him to take food).  Then the other night he won a poker game and the next day decided to take a buddy out to sushi (the other guy will then take him out next time he wins.)   Uuuuuh, ok.  What about the fact that we have talked about going on a sushi date night for a month and a half?  I'm just annoyed.  Yes, I've talked to him about it.  I know that part of it too is that our kids are allergic to everything so it's not like I can just go out with them (besides eating out with a 2 and 4 year old is not that fun.). 

Does anyone else get annoyed by this?

post #2 of 13

Not really a stay at home parent, but I would be annoyed too! I am a single parent and I hate taking my kids out to eat, especially since they don't appreciate the same food as I do. Usually what i'll do is get take out. My local and delicious indian place delivers, which is nice after they go to bed.  ;)  Or you could order the kids a pizza and pick up some sushi for yourself! This might not help if it's the actual eating at a restaurant experience you want, or if you are just wanting to spend time with your dh though. If it's the first, I'd plan a date with a friend and leave you dh at home with the kids lol. If it's the second, why not just hire a babysitter and plan the date yourself? Cheers!

post #3 of 13

Yes!

 

I get horribly jealous, but not necessarily over the "getting out to eat" part, more of the "not having to plan food" part.  He just eats whatever he feels like eating for lunch.  I, on the other hand, eat whatever I can scarf down in a couple minutes. 

 

We have a 3 yr old, almost 2 yr old, and 3 month old.  Eating out for us is NO FUN either. 

 

I would be super annoyed about the sushi thing, though.  He can take a friend out, but can't find a way to have dinner with you? Hhmm. I'm sure he just doesn't know how to go about it, since kids at a restaurant are no fun, maybe you don't leave them with sitters (we don't) etc etc... 

 

No answers for you hug.gif But yeah, I get annoyed too...

post #4 of 13

Yes me too! I don't think the hubs fully understood how it felt to be home with our baby all day until I left him alone with him for more than a couple hours. Given I had a lot to do that day and it was an important event for a family member, but it was a whole day to myself! The appreciation from it afterwards was nice, because he used to say I could just plan my day around whatever I wanted. He didn't understand how you can't drop everything when the baby is hungry, tired, or having a bad day.  So my advice is remember to take a break once in a while and treat yourself to some time away from the house! Go on a date SOON. Also it might help to stock the fridge, freezer, and pantry with quick or easy snacks you enjoy or prepare dishes you love and freeze them for lunches later.

post #5 of 13

We used to call this "the grass is greener" syndrome.  Dh would have to stay in hotels, eat out and do a lot of things I wished I was doing, but instead I was stuck home with the baby.  Dh would have preferred to eat a box of mac and cheese, and stay home with the baby.  Once we talked about it we got to a better understanding of how the other felt.  As long as I knew he'd rather be home, it didn't bother me as much.  

 

I'd totally call out the sushi thing, not cool at all.   Yes, it's harder to go out with your wife, but you should want to make the effort.

post #6 of 13

Yes, but not about eating out and I don't really feel 'stuck' at home. I get jealous of the favours he's endlessly doing for friends and co-workers after work and on days off. Especially when it's a 'friend' that is absent from our lives until they're moving or something like that, and it's not as though these people had ever done a favour for him, either. Seriously, if you have an overwhelming urge to spend your day off doing household tasks, why not hang our curtains? Or put up those shelves in your computer room like you're always talking about doing? Or hey, don't get anything  done for the day but spend it with your family? 

post #7 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mummoth View Post

Yes, but not about eating out and I don't really feel 'stuck' at home. I get jealous of the favours he's endlessly doing for friends and co-workers after work and on days off. Especially when it's a 'friend' that is absent from our lives until they're moving or something like that, and it's not as though these people had ever done a favour for him, either. Seriously, if you have an overwhelming urge to spend your day off doing household tasks, why not hang our curtains? Or put up those shelves in your computer room like you're always talking about doing? Or hey, don't get anything  done for the day but spend it with your family? 


Ok you got me there!  My husband's job gives him a general knowledge of a lot of handy things and he always feels obligated to help everyone out.  Sometimes I feel bad, but I just want to tell people occasionally umm no he had plans with his family tonight or this weekend you have to wait until next week.  I don't, but it doesn't mean I don't want to sometimes.  Especially when its several times a week after he works overtime and sometimes the weekends too.

post #8 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBombMama View Post

Yes!

 

I get horribly jealous, but not necessarily over the "getting out to eat" part, more of the "not having to plan food" part.  He just eats whatever he feels like eating for lunch.  I, on the other hand, eat whatever I can scarf down in a couple minutes. 

Yep! Same here! Lately, DH takes him time eating his waffles all to himself over the morning paper (after the kids have already eaten something totally different on my time!). I do get annoyed. 

He gets to eat out when he works and that annoys me too! 

post #9 of 13

Oh  my gosh I totally get this!  My DH is a medic who works 24-48 hour shifts, so he has no choice but to eat on the go a lot (no way will he pack food in an ambulance...gross!).  We try to stick to a pretty strict budget so we don't eat out much at all together or as a family, so whenever I see the places he's eaten on our bank/CC website, I get so envious!  I love going out to eat.

post #10 of 13
Thread Starter 

Thank you ladies.  Part of me feels like it is just so immature of me to feel this way.  We talked about it more and I think he got it.  We did go out on a date  (and it was delicious!)  I think I just need to speak up about things more.  I'm also pregnant so with fatigue and morning sickness I am just going to eat whatever sounds ok at the moment so that just is what it is.

post #11 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalisa View Post

We used to call this "the grass is greener" syndrome.   

 

 

I like that!

 

My partner travels and is in hotels four nights a week while I stay home with 4 kids.  It has always been this way, even before kids.  (Well, except I worked then and was the primary bread winner.)  I have trouble getting up the energy to feel bad when she has a 40 hour wait.  In a hotel.  Alone.  Sometimes in a fun city.  Sometimes in other countries.  Sometime in diddly squat, north dakota.  But either way, she is alone and can poop without answering a billion questions, or sleep for 3 whole hours at night, or eat without someone on her lap. 

 

But from her pov she is in a cruddy hotel in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do but kill time until her next flight.  She doesn't see her kids, she doesn't accomplish anything, she can't eat what she wants, etc. 

post #12 of 13

rdehoff-us- I get that totally!! my dh can repair just about anything and the inlaws were constantly calling him for help with cars, or building things or whatever. sometimes week after week! It finally got to where I'd speak up and tell MIL or whoever that dh just worked an 80 hour week and needs to be home and relax with his family :) They finally got it! Now they find other people, or ask dh along with another brother when they will already be there(we have family dinners there every other weekend and dh has 4 brothers who could lift a finger, ugh lol) I had to be the one to speak up, else dh would go and do it but not happily.

post #13 of 13

(((Hugs))))

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