Originally Posted by Poogles0213
If you were suddenly in an area or time where the prevailing message was that formula was much better for babies, and moms could choose to breastfeed, but it was "irrational" and "riskier", would that irritate you or rub you the wrong way?
How about when pro-circ people talk about all the reasons baby boys should be circed? That not circing is putting them at risk for more UTI's or STD's or what-have-you? Does that irritate you or rub you the wrong way (or maybe even piss you right off )?
Would you then assume it must be because they have a point, and you must just not be confident enough in your own choices? I would assume not. Just because something irritates someone or rubs them the wrong way does not mean it is because they are insecure in their decisions.
Oh, and I just wanted to respond to this part quickly before I leave you alone. The difference here is that when people spout off about how great formula/circumcision/(fill in the blank) is, I am irritated with them not for being arrogant or whatever, although that's a little annoying, I admit.
I'm irritated with them for being completely ignorant of the subject they feel so strongly about, I mean, they know next to nothing, yet still thinking they are able to hold an engaging debate with others who have actually researched ad nauseum. Yet they are completely dismissive of actual facts and information presented to them. There's no point--it's like banging your head against a wall sometimes. It's annoying when people say "circ just looks nicer!" because it's so painfully evident that they're blithering idiots who aren't remotely interested in real information. I'm irritated with those people for their smug, willful, ignorance.
If someone is actually arguing with "facts," (i.e. the circ/UTI thing) it's easy enough to tell them when they're quite simply wrong. For example, if someone says "breastfed babies fail to thrive if you don't introduce rice cereal at 8 weeks," I can come up with tons of research to completely debunk their "facts" on a moment's notice. Same thing if someone is saying ignorant things about circ. They're not necessarily willfully ignorant, they just don't have all the facts. No, I don't get irritated by those people, because it's possible to just fill in their missing facts and make the world a slightly better place because now they aren't spreading that particular misinformation anymore.
Not the same thing here. The difference in this case is that all these women who are arguing the benefits of natural childbirth, and/or the risks of unnecessary medical intervention, actually have something intelligent to say, whether they're coming to the correct conclusion or not, they are talking about information and facts...even our "opinions" are still somewhat educated opinions, you have to acknowledge that much. I actually took the time to type out many paragraphs listing the known risks of c-sections. I'm not just coming from an ignorant, purely emotional stance. If I said something like "I had me a dream about a C-section and it scared me good! C-sections is the devil!" or even something true but that could be conceived as hooey, like "The baby's spirit is disrupted by medical birth and the trauma of interventions lives in the mother's body forever," I mean, yeah, I can see how that would be very annoying. But that is not the case.
I think all the women here who have questioned you or doubted you about this actually have valid things to say. And you have not really responded to those concerns at all, except to say that you're aware, you've weighed the facts in your mind and simply come to a different conclusion. As I said, fair enough. But I don't think that others presenting information is anything to get irritated about. If we are wrong about something, (like maybe the risk of dying from a c-section is NOT actually higher than from vaginal birth, and we just have our facts wrong?) you are free to jump in and provide the missing information. The fact that you just feel irritated by what we're saying yet you're not disputing our actual information, makes me believe you may not be coming at this whole thing from a logic-based place.
Yet you claim you are. So I guess I'm just confused. And maybe I shouldn't say anymore because it doesn't make any difference, your mind is made up, and it really is none of my business. I know with every word I type I am risking making you even more irritated. But, just so you understand, that's why I don't think you have good reason to be so irritated.
ETA: And, I still respect your decisions for your own future birth.
Edited by artekah - 8/31/12 at 2:14pm