Originally Posted by cat13
Lyn, that sounds romantic DH and I did something similar a while back and had a "date-night" after DS went to bed. It was very nice, but definitely no veal marsala and tiramisu! Enjoy!
Milestones.... for as much time as I've spent online with you ladies, I am sad to say I haven't been keeping track of much. I think I'll take your advice PL and dig through old posts.
I'm starting to find a normal day-to-day for me, as I've been a SAHM for about a month now. It's still strange to me, and some days I feel like I do nothing all day, even though I'm busier than I've ever been. I think I need to start setting some clear goals, so I feel better about myself. Even small stuff like bake bread tomorrow, or walk to the farther & nicer park. I think River and I are getting a routine together too, which is nice. But poor DH is feeling so bad because River is mama-only right now. DH can't even pick him up at all anymore if we are in the house. Thankfully he's normal papa-loving-baby when we are out and about. But it's starting to make him feel sad. He was a SAHD for the first 11 months, and even though he was excited to get back to working within his career, he is having a hard time adjusting to seeing River less. He actually started leaving the house around 5am so he can have more time to spend with DS when he gets home in the evenings.
I've been fighting the green-eyed monster lately about sleep. So many people that I talk to lately talk about their babies waking up only 1 or 2 times a night or even STTN all night long. We are up every hour or two hours tops. Usually just nursing, but sometimes a full wake up, crying, rocking in the chair, me signing him back to sleep, etc. Sleep just sucks, sucks, sucks. Never had a good night ever. I wonder if I ever will again. Sometimes it physically hurts and I get so crabby. And other times it's just normal and I wonder if I even really need more. I think it's more painful when I compare myself to other people. I know I shouldn't, but it's so hard to do.
Regarding milestones, I think the timeline may be good for that kind of thing. Also, I'm planning to "search" the boys names to help pull up milestones and cute stories I've shared. Come to think of it, I email Eric a lot and may be able to search their names in Outlook, as well, to see some of the things I've written about them.
I've been a SAHM since I was pregnant with my older son and I'm still trying to find my groove and establish workable routines. It's a daily effort. And when I get into a routine, something happens to change things. LOL But I wouldn't give being home with the boys for anything, as it's super rewarding. I imagine it would be difficult for your husband to change roles like that. I, too, would be sad to go to work full time if i were him in that scenario. But soon enough it will become the new normal. And River will move beyond the "novelty" of having you all the time. I mean, he'll always LOVE you. But he will also get VERY excited when his daddy arrives home in the evening, and that should help your husband to feel better. I hope I worded myself right. I'm super distracted right now.
I so hear you on the sleep issue. I'm still nursing both boys, although I'm cutting back on DS1's night time nursing, and I don't sleep restfully. They don't fully wake up. They stir and want to be nursed. But I feel like I'm tossing and turning and not getting good sleep. I actually yelled this past weekend, as DH was awake and kept letting DS1 come into the bedroom where I was trying to sleep. I guess I feel that I have to be up super early all week long, he has been going to the coffee shop early Saturday mornings to study and Sunday mornings we have Quaker meeting. I feel like I NEVER get to sleep in. So on the rare morning that he is home, I really appreciate it if he can take the boys for me. I might get more sleep than DH, but it is much more BrOkEn sleep.
Originally Posted by Lynann
I have to agree I don't think shame and guilt are useful ways to parent, and especially not for something like potty learning.
I'm finding that the most important thing is to work with DS1's personality rather than against it. Every major mile stone has only happened when we have held back from pushing him and let him get there by himself. Once we realized that he was deliberately holding on until nap or bed time to pee in his diaper (or trying to anyway) we decided it was time to scale back a bit. If we push him right now he'll just get more stressed about the potty and then it will be harder to get him to go. So we're back in diapers most of the day, and some days all day. If he asks to go then we'll go, but he only gets to sit on it for a few minutes before we encourage him to try again later. The first few days we were taking him every 15 minutes and letting him sit on it for several minutes while we read stories together. So now he only gets once through the story while on the potty.
Rather than being discouraged about it (the book we were given a copy of says 10 days will see most children out of diapers during the day) we know that he'll go when he is ready to. Like everything else one day it will just click in his brain and then he'll be out of diapers. Meanwhile we let him lead, and we also let him help us empty poopy diapers into the toilet by flushing "bye, bye" to the poop and keep letting him know when we are going to "pee in the potty" so he continues to develop an understanding that it is something we all do.
I'm not sure how tonight will go , as Seth woke up this morning with heavy red eyes and a snotty nose. He may be working on some more teeth, but my guess is he has caught a head cold from our friend's daughter Hannah over the weekend. When he isn't sleeping he tends to be very clingy to me when he is even the slightest bit under the weather. So we may have to share our romantic evening with a sick baby.
It also looks like the worst of the stormy weather is finally passing by. We haven't been able to let Aiden play outside all weekend because of the heavy rain and strong winds. Today its just windy so he is getting out to play on the patio for a little while today.
Tina, I'm glad you feel like you are finally getting a routine. It really does help having some structure and predictability to each day. I'm definitely more of a loose routine than a schedule mama, but that little bit to structure certainly helps all of us get through the day well.
My son has a strong personality, too, and can't be pushed to do things. I, too, think the best thing is to wait until he is less resistant. I'm not sure if I should reward with stickers, though, but he does like them. The book Potty Training before 3, I think, advises against rewards.
Originally Posted by Lynann
This is the one I have, and in red too. It is really easy to switch the front wheel. I mostly walk with it and it is easy to push with even one hand. The only thing, and its the same with most double strollers, is that its a bit of a pain to get into the trunk of our tiny car. It fits, but we have to take the rear wheels off (easy peasy though) and it only goes in one way. But we do have a tiny car (Nissan Versa) so that is probably more about the size of our car. The sun canopy on each side works independently which is great when we have Seth reclined and Aiden fully sitting. Now that Seth is older and bigger and almost as heavy as his brother it is still a breeze to use. I'd recommend it to any mama on a budget.
Yay! I just ordered this. I feel bad for spending the money, especially with Gabriel's 1st birthday and DH's 40th birthday coming up. But with the second vehicle having died and our old stroller with a bent frame that makes it nearly impossible to push, we really needed something. I need to be able to walk the boys to the park or the library. If we get a membership to the YMCA (that should be partially reimbursed through DH's insurance), I can actually walk with the boys to the Y, put them in Kid Care where they get to play with other kids, and exercise for a bit. I think I need a small break sometimes and I KNOW I need to exercise. If the boys need me, I will be right in the building. Anyway, I promised DH that if we got the stroller, I WOULD use it.
Thanks for sharing your experience with it.
Originally Posted by Lynann
Dinner was great. You should send Dusty over for some tiramisu as we have loads left over. We'll be having dessert all week. We can't even share it with the boys because it contains raw eggs AND some Kahlua too.
I'm so glad you had such a nice anniversary dinner and that you have yummy tiramisu left over. I think it is essential for husbands and wives with small children to make time for each other as a couple. I find that when DH and I make special time together, it helps us to connect a lot more.