How to get DD drink milk or eat dairy products?

[Jessica1501]

My 5 year old DD hates dairy products. I checked with her doctor and she doesn't have any digestive problem. I have been trying many different products and brand names but she still doesn't like any.

For milk, I end up buying Horizon 2% with omega-3, and always have to feed her.

She is a very slow and kind of picky eater, but I'm okay with that. If she just takes a few bites and refuses to eat, I let her go because I know she will eat more later. But I always requires her to drink 1 8oz cup of milk and 1 piece of cheese/yogurt so that she will have enough calcium. She always refuses, then end up drinking but takes 1 hour to finish a cup of milk.

Because of this, I can't bring milk to her school (she studies full day). At breakfast, she likes to eat cereal but without milk, also we don't have enough time in the morning to do so, so she has to both drink and eat cheese after school (6pm).

At this age, I hate to have to feed her. I usually show the clock and reward if she finishes within 30 minutes. I tell her "if you finish when the minute hand points at number 6, you can play your favorite game". But still, I always have to remind her "it points at 3, 4, or 5 already...." because she always plays and takes a sip, then plays, and takes a break after finishing a half.

........................I'm struggling with this everyday. I talk to her a lot that everybody needs to drink milk to have enough calcium so that you can grow up, do many things like mommy and daddy...

What should I do?

Thanks.

[crayfishgirl]

I think you should find another way for her to get calcium.  There are plenty of sources (leafy green veggies, shrimp and some fish, seeds and nuts), and a quick google search will give you a huge list.  Your daughter doesn't like dairy, and respecting that will give her some control and help her have a healthy relationship with food.
 

[APToddlerMama]

What about giving her a calcium supplement? It sounds a lot less stressful than trying to get her to eat something she dislikes and encouraging her to push through those feelings. Dairy products aren't the best source of calcium anyhow.

[pokeyAC]

I didn't like drinking milk as a kid either.  Does she like yogurt or orange juice?  Yogurt has lots of calcium.  They make calcium-fortified orange juices that have more calcium than milk.  Soymilk and almond milk are also good sources.  I found this website with info on how much calcium is in different foods.  Good luck!

http://www.nichd.nih.gov/milk/prob/calcium_sources.cfm

[tbone_kneegrabber]

Ds doesn't drink milk. I didn't drink milk as a kid. I never liked it. I do like almond milk now do does ds.

Smoothies made with yogurt
Calcium chewy vitamin
Leafy green vegetables
Fortified oj

All are great ways to get calcium if you are really concerned about it.

As long as she is eating a variety of healthy foods I wouldn't worry about making here drink milk.

[Jessica1501]

@ pokeyAC: Sadly, she doesn't like yogurt either, she doesn't like any dairy products.

@ APToddlerMama and crayfishgirl,  tbone_kneegrabber:

It's not easy to find supplements. A cup of milk provides 30% of calcium intake for a day and a piece of cheese 20%. Other food should provide the other 50% to get enough 100%. But Vitamin gives only 10%. Other food like veggies give only 2 or 5%, fishes or shrimps give more but we can only eat once a day, not everyday.

If she doesn't drink milk, I even feel more tired because I have to think what food she should eat to provide enough calcium. Also, she is a picky eater, she only eats a few bites here and there.
 

[tonttu]

Originally Posted by Jessica1501 

@ pokeyAC: Sadly, she doesn't like yogurt either, she doesn't like any dairy products.

@ APToddlerMama and crayfishgirl,  tbone_kneegrabber:

It's not easy to find supplements. A cup of milk provides 30% of calcium intake for a day and a piece of cheese 20%. Other food should provide the other 50% to get enough 100%. But Vitamin gives only 10%. Other food like veggies give only 2 or 5%, fishes or shrimps give more but we can only eat once a day, not everyday.

If she doesn't drink milk, I even feel more tired because I have to think what food she should eat to provide enough calcium. Also, she is a picky eater.
 

That is true , but you are forcing her to eat it now anyway and I think , you said she is fighting you for every bite .

So , maybe it´s better and she gets more out of it , if she happily eats another source of calcium , whether it is fortified orange juice or something else , than to eventually refuse it altogether .

I mean , it´s not like you can shove it down her throat .

Plus , the other problem is , something like this can easily turn into a power struggle between the two of you and you said , it´s wearing you out , to constantly remind her of eating this and drinking that .  

Maybe try to take a break from it , even if it´s ( understandlably ) hard on your part , we all want our kids to do , what we know is best for them , but if she doesn´t feel " forced " anymore , she may be willing to try more things on her own and at her own pace 

[pokeyAC]

Does she like orange juice?  I also saw that the Total cereals have lots of calcium, 100%.

[~cassie~]

My 4 yr old doesn't drink milk or much yogurt or cheese.  But he eats the heck out of broccoli and that's good enough for me.  He will also eat fruit smoothies.  I don't drink milk either.  I really wouldn't push it and would just make sure the rest of her diet incorporates calcium in some fashion.

[pek64]

I avoid calcium supplements!! Calcium carbonate was not well tested before being widely used. Now it's being replaced with new sources -- and how well tested are they?

Food has been tested for thousands of years. Broccoli and others from the cabbage family, greens (including iceberg lettuce, so she'll get some extra water), sesame seeds (1t = 8oz milk), soy (if tolerated), parsley and red raspberry leaf.

The great thing about greens is they contain the boron and omega-3 needed for bone growth!!!

[Jessica1501]

Thank you guys, I feel much better with your answers.

May I have another question? At my DD's age (5 years), how much milk do your kids drink at a time, with an empty stomach?

Right before typing here, I just finished a cup of milk and I'm full. I feel guilty because a 8oz cup may be too much for her, it's so full for her little stomach, that's why she is so scared of drinking milk?

But I wonder why lunches for kids at school always have milk? How can they eat food and drink milk altogether?

[mamazee]

I would back off the milk. Vegan kids and kids with dairy allergies are able to get enough calcium. It is possible. Sesame seeds are a good source, tahini, blackstrap molasses, oranges, celery, Brazil nuts. You could talk to moms of vegan and milk-allergic kids and get some good suggestions.

One of my kids hated (and still hates) cow's milk and the pediatrician said to relax about it. She hasn't had a drop of cow's milk in her life. Is your pediatrician concerned about this? I think the counting of how many ounces she's having might not be necessary. I would talk to the pediatrician about it anyway. I think it could teach your dd to obsess about food more than she should.

Edited to add:: I realize I misspoke. My dd must have had a drop here and there or she wouldn't have known she didn't like it! LOL. Anyway, she's had very very little.

[tbone_kneegrabber]

Originally Posted by Jessica1501 

@ pokeyAC: Sadly, she doesn't like yogurt either, she doesn't like any dairy products.

@ APToddlerMama and crayfishgirl,  tbone_kneegrabber:

It's not easy to find supplements. A cup of milk provides 30% of calcium intake for a day and a piece of cheese 20%. Other food should provide the other 50% to get enough 100%. But Vitamin gives only 10%. Other food like veggies give only 2 or 5%, fishes or shrimps give more but we can only eat once a day, not everyday.

If she doesn't drink milk, I even feel more tired because I have to think what food she should eat to provide enough calcium. Also, she is a picky eater, she only eats a few bites here and there.
 

Ds takes the 'lil critters calcium and vitamin d' gummy bears. 2 = a glass of milk in calcium. They taste just like gummy bears. He considers them an after dinner treat.

The best advice I ever got about kids and food was to look at what the kid ate over the course of a MONTH and then decide whether they needed to eat differently.

I think an 8 oz glass of milk is a lot to expect a little kid to drink especially if they don't like it! I don't know if I know any kids irl that drink dairy milk even daily.

[sillygrl]

I can't stand milk, it makes me gag. Not just the taste, either, I have problems with the texture. Milk and dairy is not required for good nutrition, otherwise vegan children would not thrive. I would never force a child to eat like that. It's stressful for her, too. Maybe back off and try other sources and once the stress is off her, she'll become interested in milk and cheese. Obsessing like this only teaches her bad habits.

[JudiAU]

She doesn't need dairy products to get enough calcium. There are many other dietary sources. I see no reason to force the issue, especially if she won't drink milk willingly. 

Personally, I think Horizon milk is pretty awful. It is the worse "organic" dairy and there is a lot of reason that shows that the omega 3s they use are junk. Eggs with omega 3 diet are much more bioavailable if you want an animal source. It is almost always UHT which further destroys taste and nutritious.

My kids drink some milk after weaning and eat dairy products but never with meals because I would rather eat more nutritious food and water. Milk is filling and a lot of kids with poor quality diets are also heavy milk drinkers. And I only serve good quality local organic dairy that is gently pasteurized. Grass fed when I can get it. 

 

[marsupial-mom]

Many nondairy milks (soy, almond, rice) have calcium. Also, orange juice is often fortified with calcium. Or supplements are available. And many dark green leafy veggies are high in calcium too.

[tonttu]

Originally Posted by Jessica1501 

Thank you guys, I feel much better with your answers.

May I have another question? At my DD's age (5 years), how much milk do your kids drink at a time, with an empty stomach?

Right before typing here, I just finished a cup of milk and I'm full. I feel guilty because a 8oz cup may be too much for her, it's so full for her little stomach, that's why she is so scared of drinking milk?

But I wonder why lunches for kids at school always have milk? How can they eat food and drink milk altogether?

MAYBE ( and this just a suggestion ) she seems " picky " because she is so full from the milk , that she can´t eat anymore . 

The other thing is , I really like milk , the taste , the texture , everything , BUT... I also have a very sensitive stomach and if somebody would make me ( a 6 ft tall adult ) drink a whole glass of milk on an empty stomach , I would feel so sick , there is no way , I could eat ANYTHING else !

If at 5 , she has a small , child-size cup , that should be more than enough for her size and it would probably fill her up quite well , too  

The other thing , I forgot , is that from a nutritional point of view , it is actually not a good idea to drink milk or eat dairy products with iron-rich foods , since the calcium in the milk blocks the absorption of iron in the body .

I think , the reason , they have school milk , may be ( at least where I am from ) that they want to ensure that even kids from not-so-fortunate families at least get milk in school . 

[transylvania_mom]

I can't drink milk either, it makes me gag, partly because my mom forced me to drink milk when I was little.

I would keep offering, but not insisting.

My dk love milk, each drinks about 3 cups daily; I only offer it with meals. Some days they don't want to drink milk. It's fine either way.
 

[~cassie~]

My 2 oldest kids drink anywhere from 4-8oz of milk a day.  The youngest doesn't drink any but will occasionally drink about 3-4 oz of vanilla almond milk maybe 2-3 times a week.

[meemee]

i think drinking milk and the 30% calcium is the milk industry trying to make money. do you know that most of the bones problems are in countries that do drink a lot of milk?

i really dont think milk is a good source of calcium. 

Leafy green vegetables	Broccoli, kale, spinach
Fruits	Oranges
Beans and peas	Tofu, peanuts, peas, black beans, baked beans
Fish	Salmon, sardines
Miscellaneous	Sesame seeds, blackstrap molasses, corn tortillas, almonds, brown sugar

dd has never really enjoyed milk. she rarely drinks it. i have never really watched what dd takes in food wise. i just make sure she eats a healthy diet with a variety of food. in other words i've not really worried about calcium - but then again she did a lot of oranges/tangerines (not the juice) and a lot of greens too. she loves kale and can eat a tonne of it. even at 2. 

another thing that i remember from my own childhood - i could not drink milk on an empty stomach. two things would happen. if i could drink it on an empty stomach i could maybe drink a couple of ounces and then feel nauseaus. or i would immediately get a stomach ache after 3 or 4 sips of milk. to this day i can never wake up and drink milk. a big no no.