I don't think I can handle my partner's son. We don't live together, but are planning to cohabitate next year. We are, however, neighbors. So I see enough of the kids everyday life to know what I'm getting myself and my kids into.
This is a prime example of what goes on with his kids: I went over there today, and his older two (10g and 8b) were fighting. Actually, the girl was screaming because the boy was holding her video camera and threatening to throw it over the fence. I did not get involved, but went inside. My partner told me that she had started wrestling with him (brother), and when he (dad) tried to make her stop, she refused. He told her to put something in the car, but instead she had continued playing with her brother. When her brother grabbed her video camera and ran out the door with it, she "bought into it" and chased after him. He says he told her to come in and let him deal with it. She finally got the camera from him, and came in- my partner lectured her about buying into his teasing, while his son ran off.
Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture? The reality is, he can't control his son- there is absolutely nothing he can do to stop him from acting like that. So he goes after his daughter, because she is more accountable to him. His son does this stuff all the time- he loves pushing buttons, even terrorizing and physically hurting others for laughs. If he's mad he will destroy things, and pick fights with adults. He has very very little respect for the rights of others.
I could live with this if it were being dealt with. Kids can be pretty awful, but this child is flat out allowed to harass the other kids with no consequences. I cannot get my partner to see it my way- he says that's just the way he is, and if people would ignore it, he wouldn't do it. To me that's irrelevant, even if it were true. I asked him today- where is he going to learn that it's not ok to bully people?
I have four kids, and I'm feeling at this point that I can't make them live with this boy. He doesn't pick on my kids the way he picks on his siblings. But the level of conflict in their house reaches such a high pitch sometimes- I myself honestly don't think I can handle it.
I'm feeling so sad about this. :(