Quinalla, yay!!!!! When do you think you'll test? Fingers and toes crossed that you get your BFP!!
- topicTrying To Conceivetagged by System, 8/12/12
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The ONE Thread - Aug 12-19 - Page 2post #21 of 718/14/12 at 10:10ampost #22 of 718/14/12 at 12:20pm
Day 3 of spotting over here, and it finally looks like it's coming to an end. For a bit there it started to get pretty red and a bit heavier, and I really started to fear that it was my period coming super early. I'm glad it's slowing down, and I'm really starting to believe that I'll get a BFP this weekend.
On other news, I learned late last night that my grandma was admitted to the hospital and they think she had a heart attack. She is 90 years old and has lived a wonderfully full life. She still does Tae Chi once a week, bakes pies for church charities and is grandmother to I don't even know how many people. I am very sad. She is also a 13 hour drive away from us, so I don't know if I'll be able to go up and see her. I am going to get some pictures of DS printed tonight for my mom to take with her when she goes down tomorrow.
I can't help but feeling like this is my fault.. that because I'm trying to bring a new life into this world, it is taking the place of another life. I know it's ridiculous, but I just can't shake this feeling. I am so sad.post #23 of 718/14/12 at 1:39pmpost #24 of 718/14/12 at 6:19pmpost #25 of 718/14/12 at 8:08pm
StudyingStones: I do hope you get your BFP! I'm sorry that you're feeling conflicted about TTC and it being connected to your grandmother's declining health. Sending hugs and moral support.
Quinalla: your situation sounds pretty promising as well. Any news yet?
Stevi: glad to see you got your donor lined up. Wishing you all the best for this cycle!
Regarding the exercise question: vigorous exercise will mess with your cycle. I have actually cut waaay down on my exercise starting with my last cycle and that was a fairly normal one, as opposed to the 40 day cycles I sometimes get. My doctor also believes that that was a big influence so he recommended I take it easy and I have, so I'm curious to see how this cycle will work out. So far no sign of O and I'm on CD15...post #26 of 718/15/12 at 6:48am
Thanks everyone for your kind words.
I feel pretty stupid... the spotting turned into full out red, heavy bleeding this morning as AF announced her arrival. When I sat down in the bathroom and found all the red blood I just said "oh noooooo" in the most dejected way possible. I feel like such an idiot for being so positive.. I should really know better by now than to get my hopes up. Thanks a lot, body, for throwing me another curve ball and starting my period 4 days early. This is the shortest cycle I've had yet at 28 days, so I don't know what the hell is up with that.
My grandmother is doing a bit better, she is supposed to get out of the hospital on Saturday, but they're not sure she'll be able to live on her own after this (it was confirmed she did have a mild heartattack). She's already talking about seling her house and moving into a Senior's centre.
I've got a lot of things coming down on me right now, so I am going to go spend the next couple days hiding in bed and pretending like the world doesn't exist (yeah right, like that's possible with a 5 year old).
Please move me back to Waiting O, and I'm sure I'll be back in a few days when I'm feeling less down. Hopefully there are some BFPs around here in the meantime.
Take care, everyone.post #27 of 718/15/12 at 9:29am
StudyingStones sorry about AF showing up. I can relate to feeling silly about getting my hopes up. And yet without hope where would we be? We have to believe it'll happen otherwise why even bother, right? Good to hear your grandmother has accepted that she needs assistance. That can be the hardest part sometimes, convincing an elderly relative that it's ok to have help. Take care, soothe your soul, be patient and kind to yourself.post #28 of 718/15/12 at 10:02amStudyingStones - So sorry that AF found you. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to stress about the shorter cycle - IIRC, you thought you ovulated earlier than normal, right? If you did, that would make your cycle shorter, not make your LP longer. If it helps any, the cycle before I got pregnant with DS, my cycle was just like yours - I O'ed early, had a 16 day LP (4 days longer than normal for me) and spotted for 2-3 days before AF arrived (I never spot before AF). Next cycle, BFP. I really hope that pattern happens for you as well! I also hope your grandmother improves and her living situation works out for the best for her.post #29 of 718/15/12 at 11:40ampost #30 of 718/15/12 at 5:52pmThanks ladies for your kindness. I'm feeling a bit better, but today was a rough day. On top of my grandma's health and AF arriving, my mom was laid off from work today (she works at the same hospital I do), so that was not fun. There's also some issues with DS's behavior at summer camp that are stressing me out, and I'm rather miffed at my FIL over another situation, so it was a lot of things all at once. I'm going to allow myself today to mope, and get back on track tomorrow.
TwilightJoy, yes I plan on temping
I'm going to use a different app this month than fertility friend, cause I don't like it as much, but I'll post the link to my chart when I figure it out.
Here's hoping for a positive month (in more ways than one!)
Stevi and LivingSky, can you share some of your knowledge/experience with soy Isoflavens? How much should you take, and on what cycle days? I may try them this month. Should I take them with a B complex, do you think?
Edited by StudyingStones - 8/15/12 at 6:20pmpost #31 of 718/15/12 at 6:51pm
StudyingStones, sorry to hear about AF. I know what you mean about being so confused by your body and feeling silly for getting your hopes up. That's what mine did to me last month with my latest ever O, totally throwing off our BD. But like PP said, we have to keep hoping and keep trying! Sorry too that you have so many other stressors right now, I know that makes it harder.
post #32 of 718/16/12 at 6:30am
Sorry to hear that StudyingStones. I hope you find some time to have peace with this cycle and everything around you. It's especially frustrating when our bodies send us curve balls.
One of our good friends is dealing with the loss of his mother to lung cancer. While he knew it was coming and was able to spend a lot of time with her this summer as her health declined, he's still in shock and grieving in his way. At her wake yesterday we talked about life and death with a 40+ week pregnant woman, who said waiting for the little one to be born was an exercise in peace and patience, much like our friend's family waiting for a death (I know that sounds morbid here but in the context of the wake it made perfect sense).
I was reminded of the cyclic nature of life and how little control we have over the big things, in spite of having much control over the little things. DH and I had a small argument the other day and this really washed it all away and put it in perspective - the little things that bother us every day don't matter. We have each other and hopefully soon will be able to share our love with a little child.
Religion was never a part of my life growing up, but as I've gotten older I see more value in it as a way to connect to things that are so much bigger than our little selves. I believe there is a spirit which unites things as one - call it god if you want, but I personally don't believe it is a conscious being, more of a fundamental force like gravity. I believe in reincarnation as this spirit recycles life energy. Somehow I find peace in that as it unites life and death.
I think the classic serenity prayer has become my mantra for TTC.
Spirit of the Universe, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.post #33 of 718/16/12 at 6:41am
Sorry I haven't posted. I believe I ovulated yesterday and we didn't quite manage to figure things out this month. Its really embarrassing to say.
I guess you can move me to Waiting to be Ready
So I know we will be waiting at least 1 more month.
Another couple told us they were pregnant (not planned) this week and it really has thrown us for a loop.post #34 of 718/16/12 at 6:51amStudyingstones, to you! I'm so sorry that so much is hitting you and your family all at once
kimble, always love the serenity prayer too.
Well, I took a test this morning as we decided to leave tonight for our trip and got a BFN I'm really confused because I seriously feel pregnant and at 12DPO it is possible there isn't enough for it to pick up, but I just dunno. I guess I'll see if AF comes this weekend and if not, I'll test when I get back, so not until Monday morning most likely. So weird, so I still have some hope, but I'm trying to chill until I know more. Thanks everyone who asked about me, its so good to have support from all of you going through the same rollercoaster!post #35 of 718/16/12 at 7:23ampost #36 of 718/16/12 at 7:47ampost #37 of 718/16/12 at 7:54am
StudyingStones... I highly recommend the B Complex whether you try the Soy Isoflavone, or not. I am sure that my B Complex gave me additional EWCM, and added another day to my lp.
As for the Soy... I currently take: CD2 80mg, CD3 120mg, CD4 120mg, CD5 120mg, CD6 160mg. I start on cycle day 2 or 3, and take it for 5 days, just like Clomid.
I sorta got the doses from Googling other TTCer's, and trial and error. I know I took much more once and had some sort of bad reaction. I'm sure I wrote about it in a One Thread, but cannot recall what it was now. I just remember that I don't want to do it again. lol
AAM... I only got the one BD in, and my temp did not do a nice jump, but at least I have a shot.
I had the opportunity to talk to a gynocologist yesterday and may be able to get an HSG! I need to call around to the radiology places for prices, then see if I can afford it. My insurance will not cover anything fertility related, so I'll have to come up with the money myself. I'm not sure if I'll go through with it, but it will be nice to know that I can.
Think Fertile Thoughts!post #38 of 718/16/12 at 8:13am
Thanks again ladies for your kindness and support. I'm feeling better today.
On top of all the drama yesterday, it was my younger brother's 17th birthday, so it was particularly hard that our mom got laid off yesterday. But, we are coping, and my mom is a very strong woman who is working hard to come up with a plan, and I have faith that things will work themselves out somehow...
Stevi, Thanks for the advice. I did some googling and I read that you should only take soy isos if you don't ovulate naturally... I'm pretty sure I do ovulate (that's from only one month of actually recording temps), so maybe I should just do the B complex this month and see what happens? ( I do plan to chart temps and use OPKs).
Quinalla, I'm sorry you didn't get your BFP, hopefully it was just too early to get a positive result. Fingers crossed that you will get that BFP on Monday!
TwilightJoy, Here's to lots of BD'ing and getting that BFP!!
I wish TTC wasn't so much of a guessing game. How in the world did I ever 'accidentally' become pregnant with DS??? It seems like an impossibility!!
Oh, and have a look at my new avatar - it is a picture of DS enjoying the ocean from our trip to Riviera Maya, Mexico in February. He still talks about going back at least once a week.post #39 of 718/16/12 at 10:41ampost #40 of 718/16/12 at 10:42amQuote:
Thanks for the advice Stevi, I hope you catch that egg soon!!
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