I am not sure how to best deal with this new situation that has arisen.
DP's dad is very excited about this pregnancy, and a new grand baby. But, here's the problem, his wife. See when we announced we were pregnant, I also informed everyone we were planning a home birth. I have no problems with FIL and/or MIL (they have been divorced since DP was very little) being around for the birth, it doesn't bother me in the least. His wife on the other hand is a different story. She tends to be very loud and sort of on the obnoxious side. I feel like I am in a sticky kind of situation because although FIL will be quiet and in the background, I am nervous that SMIL wont be so quiet. I have a very strong feeling that she will want to be right in the thick of things, especially once I start pushing and such. My mother and father have attended all of my births and are very helpful and soothing. I don't want this neurotic woman around stressing me out!
I think the hardest part of all this, is she will be very offended, repeat very, if we invite FIL and not her. She likes to go and do everything that FIL does, even when it's not appropriate for her to be around. Like, FIL is a justice of the peace and performs weddings quite often. She goes to them all, and sometimes will get very drunk and act like a total fool and embarrass FIL to point that he has to leave early because of her antics..
DP and I talked about this last night, and he says that she might be fine, since she won't be drinking. I don't feel so confident in that. I have been around her a lot and she is boisterous even when she's sober. DP also understands that I am having issues with this, and he too is trying to figure out the best way to go about the whole thing.
I kind of have a bad experience with this too. My sister, who I love dearly, wanted to come for the birth of DS3, I didn't for see any problem with it, so I allowed it. I will never forget, while I was pushing and my contractions were so intense I thought my head was going to explode, I opened my eyes and all I saw was my sister in my face saying "Breath!! Breath!!" I truly wanted to dunk her head right into the tub! It was so nerve wrecking! I do not want to have that happen again.
What do you think we should do? Has anyone had this kind of situation arise?