Weekly Chat August 13 -19 - Page 7
I'm 5'6" and a size M usually but busty, measuring right on at 35cm. I can still wear my ON tanks, but they are their style from several (2? 4?) years ago and an XL. I have to layer a tank that fits in the shoulders/arm holes under one that is long enough but too big up top. But I am mostly wearing dresses. Either maternity dresses or non-maternity dresses as tunics over leggings.
Ladies, I really need your advice.
Short synop on my pregnancy thus far to get those who don't know caught up:
Baby's father left me homeless and took all my money when I wouldn't abort our son at 19 weeks pregnant. I was SO scared... so I called up my sister (you know, people always say you can always count on family) who I hadn't talked to in over half a year and asked for help. She and I started living together and it had it's ups and downs but it was a place to stay....
Over the past few months of living with my sister, I have seen more and more of a very violent side of her. Last morning, it passed over the okay/not okay line. We were driving along the highway and she started yelling at me (I was driving). I wouldn't yell back at her so she started grabbing me and trying to swerve the car... So I pulled off to the side and told her to get out. Immediately she began pulling my hair (out by the chucks) and then she attempted to strangle me. She pulled my keys out of the ignition (it was idling) and threw them off the side of the highway so I couldn't leave. I shut all the doors and locked her out for safety reasons and called the cops. Needless to say, she went to jail over the weekend. I could have pressed charges and made her stay in prison for over a year, but I chose not to and just signed her up for an anger management class....
Either way, I am not going to live with her anymore. So I am left with few choices...
A. I can completely uproot and take my life to EXTREMELY supportive family friends down in North Carolina (asheville) and scurry to find a doctor/ get medicaid transfered/ find a doula... which is horribly scary and bothersome, however the comfort of being with a family that WILL support me no matter what is very very relieving....
B. My doula in Ohio has offered up a room in her house until the baby is born and I have recovered (so basically 3 or 4 weeks after Nico's here). Since I don't know anyone in Ohio and have no connections now that I am not with my sister, there isn't any reason to stay in Ohio... so a few weeks after having Nico, I would probably go down to NC anyways... but at least with this option I will be living in with my Doula, already have a doctor...etc etc. But then again, I'll have to transfer everything over anyways when I move down to NC (ie medicaid).
Any advice, ladies...? I really need it. I will probably be making a choice by tomorrow around noon, because if I DO decide to go to NC, I need to get there QUICKLY and find a birth team.
Let me know your thoughts- I need them!!!
So sorry that happened, Anya.
If it were me, I'd go where I wanted to be the most - regardless of what it takes. You could still be pregnant for 6-8 more weeks... that's a lot of time to get yourself settled in NC. But if you don't want the stress and worry of finding a new birth team and that is what is most important to you, then staying with your doula is what you should do. If it were me, I'd want to be surrounded by people I knew and loved. Good luck. I don't think there is a wrong answer here - just choose what's in your heart.
AnyaRose- OMG I'm SO sorry to hear about your situation. I hope your sister can get the help she needs, but YOU and your son don't need to be around that crap.
Personally, i'd pack up and head out to NC. Be surrounded by family and friends and go from there. I think it would be easier to move one person then 2.
AnyaRose--Oh my goodness, I am so sorry this is happening to you.:( You are probably going to want supportive family around you after the baby is born, so if I had a choice I'd go where I have friends who could help me afterwards. Neither option is easy. I hope it all works out, truly! Make sure you have someone to go with you and help when you pack your things. You should definitely not be alone with your sister anymore right now. Just my opinion!