or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › I'm eligible for my "Attachment Parenting Membership Card" but I don't relate to the term - anyone else? How do you handle meeting like minded parents when you resent the label?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I'm eligible for my "Attachment Parenting Membership Card" but I don't relate to the term -... - Page 2

post #21 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

get over it. why are so attached to resenting a label that is ultimately irrelevant to you? i can understand if it was an incorrect label that created confusion about who you are, but you say it fits you. so, why care so much what anyone else calls it?

I don't use the term anymore because when I tried to be involved with local "AP" groups I found that people told me off. They were hostile and judgmental and nasty. It was an incredibly unpleasant experience and these women are in the local home schooling community as well. The joy will never end. I have mental health issues. I deal with it as best I can. I avoid "AP groups" because the people there are far more likely to start grilling me to find out if the food I fed my kid is "good enough". The folks there are far more likely to tell me that they don't want to know me any more if I have a panic attack in public.

 

No thanks.

post #22 of 51

I know what you mean. For me, the attachment part has been so natural that it doesn't require effort. BUT it's the letting go that does. I had to learn strategies for relaxing, allowing, opening up, and being in the flow, which I know all falls under the AP umbrella, but for me, being in the NOW, letting go, and breathing ( a lot a lot) characterize my mothering-improvement journey more than anything else.

 

I doubt "Letting Go Parenting" is a better label though, lol. ;)

post #23 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbleMa View Post

I don't like the term "attachment parenting" either.  It's just parenting. 

 

I guess. But...i dunno, its interesting to me that so many people are anti-label, when labeling is one good way to find your "tribe"...and we are all here at Mothering presumably because we feel the moms here are more like us than a more mainstream parenting site. AP *isnt* "just parenting" if you live in an area where "just parenting" usually involves lots of non-AP stuff. And that can be hard for moms who really feel they need support in their choices or who just dont want to deal with all that stuff.

post #24 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by rightkindofme View Post

I don't use the term anymore because when I tried to be involved with local "AP" groups I found that people told me off. They were hostile and judgmental and nasty. It was an incredibly unpleasant experience and these women are in the local home schooling community as well. The joy will never end. I have mental health issues. I deal with it as best I can. I avoid "AP groups" because the people there are far more likely to start grilling me to find out if the food I fed my kid is "good enough". The folks there are far more likely to tell me that they don't want to know me any more if I have a panic attack in public.

 

No thanks.

 

Thats a major bummer. greensad.gif

 

It sucks when a group uses a label to prop themselves up and have a "holier than thou" (or AP-er than thou) litmus test to put other moms down. A year ago i met two moms i knew from this site in person (i only knew them online before that)...i was so worried i wouldnt be "enough" (would they judge our nutrition? our discipline? etc etc) but it was fine, they really didnt care at all. I was so relieved.

 

Its kind of a balance between maintaining one's values and encouraging others in those values....and being a judgmental *bleep* . I used to belong to an online Radical Unschooling forum and frankly i did NOT want to deal with other moms touting the benefits of worksheets and enforced bedtimes. I could go to a more mainstream HSing forum for that stuff and it gets tiring. And if a mom came to the forum truly wanting help in being more RU, people would help. But if a mom stopped by who wanted to convince the group why RU was wrong, yeah she got challenged, sometimes strongly (and usually ran off saying how mean and judgemental we all were and how RU was just a cult lol.gif )

 

Ultimately i think most parents have more in common than they do differences.

post #25 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by queenjane View Post

Ultimately i think most parents have more in common than they do differences.

This is why I think of myself as a parent and not an AP person. Or whatever awkward language is supposed to go with that.

I don't have more overall in common with other extended tandem nursing moms. They think I am an offensive freak. I come to mdc because there alllllll kinds of people here. Many who do not identify as "AP" and they give level headed advice. Works for me.
post #26 of 51

This thread got me thinking... the only reason I don't identify with the AP label is that it conjures up an entire package of parenting tools, not all of which I subscribe to, despite fitting most of the criteria. It makes me uncomfortable to be associated with the parts of the AP picture that I judge as too (fill in your own judgy adjective here)... because I'm afraid I'll be judged as such. That's just me, I guess. The other thing is that I use the AP label to find other like-minded mamas (whether online or in person), but when I refuse to embrace it for myself (and I refuse to do so quite often) I'm denying other mamas the ability to find me. Is that fair? Probably not. I'm an introvert and I don't really want other people to find me anyway, but that's pretty selfish of me as far as I can tell. I think what I'm getting at is that my reticence to label myself an AP parent is based in my own judgment of certain things that come along with the label and my corresponding fear that I'll be judged. When I am able to let go of that judgment, I'll be better able to embrace the label of AP, as imperfect as it is to describe my parenting style... and then I'll be better able to reap the benefits of that label, such as those mentioned by PPs, namely connecting with and being a part of a really decent, supportive, and diverse community. Easier said than done, but I'm working on it.

post #27 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by queenjane View Post

 

I guess. But...i dunno, its interesting to me that so many people are anti-label, when labeling is one good way to find your "tribe"...and we are all here at Mothering presumably because we feel the moms here are more like us than a more mainstream parenting site. AP *isnt* "just parenting" if you live in an area where "just parenting" usually involves lots of non-AP stuff. And that can be hard for moms who really feel they need support in their choices or who just dont want to deal with all that stuff.

 

I see your point.  It's definitely good to have like-minded friends for support.  On the other hand I think it's important not to discount people just because they do things differently.  I have a couple friends that I would never have met if I only hung out with "AP" people.  I don't push my ways on them, and don't push theirs on me.  And sometimes we even learn from each other! 

 

Of course, there are people out there who are very judgey and will hound you and try to get you to see thing their way.  I don't want to be friends with those people.  No matter what their parenting beliefs are.

post #28 of 51

Agreed! I kind of don't like doing stuff that seems like it should have a (TM) after it! Attachment Parenting (TM).

post #29 of 51
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post

i donot hate labels, but i do dislike them. 

True, true!!  
Originally Posted by anj_rn View Post

I definitely feel the same way.  I do not like the labels.  We did what works for our family, not because of a label, but because of how we felt on different issues and what worked for each child.  Our parenting style evolved over the years, and will continue to change.  When asked about it, I say we did _______, because that is what worked best for us.  You have to find what works best for you.

Yes, I think this may be part of it for me too.  

Originally Posted by tanyato View Post

This is me all the way. I remember being really young and getting Harry Potter for my birthday - NO ONE had heard of it, the second book wasn't even out yet. Anyways, I read it, loved it. A couple years later, it became HUGELY popular and I immediately lost interest. Even though I really enjoyed the books. I'm sure that's quite normal behavior, but it makes me laugh that I was so adamantly opposed to liking something popular. Fast forward several years and I'm pregnant with my first child. I find a Mothering magazine at he library, read it, loved it. It totally resonated with me. My last month or so of pregnancy I perused this website often and heard the term AP being used. Immediately after DS was born, I could tell that my natural parenting style was fairly AP. BUT, I REFUSE to read Dr. Sears book(s) because I truly wanted to mother the way my heart told me too. Also, I could then feign ignorance if someone questioned me about the way I parent (have you read such and such? Do you follow this method? Etc.). Wouldn't want people to think I'm doing something just because it's popular now would I? Haha. Anyways, I'm rambling...basically what I'm trying to say is that I can relate.

Ha, ha, ha!!  I'm actually the opposite of you, Peggy and a few others in this respect. I really like to fit in. Although I feel like "AP" (or whatever we want to call it) is becoming more popular, it's still almost always presented to me as fairly alternative -- and often proudly so. Which is good, I guess...but I don't like to be perceived as this radical person. But like you, I also don't really read Dr. Sears. His books haven't resonated all that well with me. But I do like parenting books quite a lot. I feel like the good ones are a sort of philosophical journey. 

Originally Posted by rubidoux View Post
Even now, when I bring it up in mixed company, there's always someone who "admits" to it like it's something to be ashamed of.  

YES!!  I'm not sure if I said this upthread or not but this has been very eye opening for me. I feel like many "mainstream" parents are closet "AP"ers. In other words, we're all the same if we could just take away the labels. 

Originally Posted by Peggy O'Mara View Post

I wonder where these labels really come from. Attachment Parenting started as an organization to teach about the importance of the first three to five years of life. The media picked up the term and is mostly the place where it becomes divisive. We parents use it sometimes to introduce ourselves to others, but it's gotten to be such a charged term. And, I'll bet that most parents are like us and find themselves attracted to these things because they work not because they are popular or cool.

I wonder too! I'm going to do a little research on the origin of the term. Agreed that most parents are doing these things because they work, and because they feel right, and because their babies love it. ....and, yea, that there are probably a lot out there doing this things who have never heard of "AP". I actually know quite a few of these parents. :-)  

Originally Posted by queenjane View Post

I'm going to be the lone voice of dissent here i guess.

 

I think labels serve a purpose. The building where my sons go to preschool has a parenting group each week....an API (attachment parenting international) group. I *immediately* from that label knew the "flavor" or focus of the group and the types of moms i'd LIKELY find there. When you're a mom looking for a group to meet certain needs of yours, it HELPS to know what you're getting into. While AP might seem maintream now, when my first was a baby (he'll be 16 in October) it wasnt as popular (though by no means rare)....if you're an AP parent, you might not want to sit through several playgroups hearing other moms telling you really mainstream stuff (early solids, or let them cry, or punitive discipline) before finding "your people"...you are more LIKELY to find what you're looking for in a group that has a pretty specific purpose (that is, supporting attachment parenting.) Its kind of like...sure moms of multiples can have friends who only have singletons but the reason they often go to MoMs groups is because they can immediately gel over twin issues with other moms who really KNOW...does that mean every single thing will be in common?? No of course not. But its nice not to have to constantly defend your choices and be surrounded by moms who "get it" and who will support you in what you're trying to do.

 

That being said, of course AP moms can also have a great time with moms who dont necessarily share their ideals. And you wont always get "crap" at regular playgroups. It just depends. It also depends on your area...in some areas a more "natural living" or "mindful parenting" bent is the NORM (for example cry it out or formula feeding or spanking might be rare)...in other places, not so much. A mom might really NEED that support.

 

I get not wanting to label yourself, but i think NOT labeling yourself to prove a point is also kind of silly in a way. How is it any different to say you're into "natural family living" or "mindful parenting"? Those are labels too (or "descriptions" if thats more palatable)...in fact when my oldest was a baby, i would NOT describe myself as NFL...we only cloth diapered briefly, werent really into natural/whole foods, didnt recyle or be really that environmentally aware, etc. I was happy to buy him plastic toys and let him watch tv. And as he got older i didnt feel AP really applied and felt more comfortable with mindful parenting a term used a lot in our Radical Unschooling circles. Now, with my three other kids, i dont feel like any of that, even though i bottlenursed (they were adopted) and coslept etc etc. Parenting can change over time. But if i meet someone and she starts talking about AP i kinda know where she is coming from. Not 100 percent but there is a good chance she wont be shocked at a one yr old nursing or tsk tsk about a toddler in a parents bed.

 

At this point in my life though, i really dont care what other people think of my parenting so meeting parents who share most of my views isnt that important. I have my adoption mom friends i talk to online to help with those issues, and other than that dont really feel the need to commune with other parents or seek support for other parenting issues.

Yes, all good points. For the record, I didn't post to complain about how others use the term -- it's more about how from time to time I feel I should/could/"need" to use it and I don't like doing it. Because it's not a term I personally love, yk? So, if I were to be inclined to join and "AP" group because I want to find link-minded mamas, I feel a bit of a fraud. 

 

For labels that we personally prefer -- I guess I'm more inclined to use "Unconditional Parenting". Though, I do like Peggy's use of the term "Authentic Parent" (perhaps on another thread). 

Originally Posted by MrsGregory View Post

I don't have a problem with labels as such; as a previous poster said, labels kind of let you know what "flavor" of folks you're likely to find in a particular group.  But I haven't found a group or label that really applies to me as of yet, and being a "joiner", I worry about this more than I should.  I would prefer to have a niche in which I fit nicely.

 

Maybe that's sad, but it's me.

hug2.gif Me too! More than anything, I find I just migrate to parents that I happen to like - on a personal and instinctual level. From there any parenting differences are fairly easy to sort. 

Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

get over it. why are so attached to resenting a label that is ultimately irrelevant to you? i can understand if it was an incorrect label that created confusion about who you are, but you say it fits you. so, why care so much what anyone else calls it?

Was this for me? You can read above to get a better idea of where I'm coming from...but this is more of a philosophical discussion between mamas...not meant to be a dig on others. Sorry if it came off that way. Peace.gif

Originally Posted by BubbleMa View Post

I don't like the term "attachment parenting" either.  It's just parenting. 

Yes!! 

Originally Posted by rightkindofme View Post

I don't use the term anymore because when I tried to be involved with local "AP" groups I found that people told me off. They were hostile and judgmental and nasty. It was an incredibly unpleasant experience and these women are in the local home schooling community as well. The joy will never end. I have mental health issues. I deal with it as best I can. I avoid "AP groups" because the people there are far more likely to start grilling me to find out if the food I fed my kid is "good enough". The folks there are far more likely to tell me that they don't want to know me any more if I have a panic attack in public.

 

No thanks.

irked.gif How those mamas treated you doesn't sound very gentle or "AP" to me. I can totally see why you would feel put off. Maybe that's part of it for me too...  I'm pretty thick skinned and I have a good support network already (but I'm super social and can always fit in a few more mama friends!). But, I don't think "AP" should be about that. If it's a model to live by and raise our kids by, it should be one that is loving and supportive. Hugs to you too mama!! 

Originally Posted by ImogenSkye View Post

I know what you mean. For me, the attachment part has been so natural that it doesn't require effort. BUT it's the letting go that does. I had to learn strategies for relaxing, allowing, opening up, and being in the flow, which I know all falls under the AP umbrella, but for me, being in the NOW, letting go, and breathing ( a lot a lot) characterize my mothering-improvement journey more than anything else.

 

I doubt "Letting Go Parenting" is a better label though, lol. ;)

Ha, ha, ha!!  Though I never could have admitted it a the time, I think what you're describing was me when my first was young. I was HYPER-attached!  I used to feel like the using the sling too much was too unattached because one could go about their day without paying much attention to the baby. How crazy!!  Fast forward a few years and my oldest is in public school and I've not a new LO at home...and it's so much easier the second go round. I can relate, mama!! 

Originally Posted by queenjane View Post

 

I guess. But...i dunno, its interesting to me that so many people are anti-label, when labeling is one good way to find your "tribe"...and we are all here at Mothering presumably because we feel the moms here are more like us than a more mainstream parenting site. AP *isnt* "just parenting" if you live in an area where "just parenting" usually involves lots of non-AP stuff. And that can be hard for moms who really feel they need support in their choices or who just dont want to deal with all that stuff.

Yes, true. 

Originally Posted by queenjane View Post

 

 

Ultimately i think most parents have more in common than they do differences.

love.gif

Originally Posted by rightkindofme View Post


This is why I think of myself as a parent and not an AP person. Or whatever awkward language is supposed to go with that.
I don't have more overall in common with other extended tandem nursing moms. They think I am an offensive freak. I come to mdc because there alllllll kinds of people here. Many who do not identify as "AP" and they give level headed advice. Works for me.

Yea, this is a big point for me. I have had couple MDC meet-ups, including a pretty large one in my home. It was super fun but the spectrum of all of us MDC mamas (and pappas) and what all of this means to them was striking. We had a few for whom this meant being super intentional as a family, some for whom it meant living very far outside the cultural norms, some who needed support for a child with special needs, some who wanted to be super child-centric and, yes, some who were fairly dogmatic about what it meant to be "AP". And, I am still IRL friends with a couple of those folks! 

Originally Posted by Mommel View Post

This thread got me thinking... the only reason I don't identify with the AP label is that it conjures up an entire package of parenting tools, not all of which I subscribe to, despite fitting most of the criteria. It makes me uncomfortable to be associated with the parts of the AP picture that I judge as too (fill in your own judgy adjective here)... because I'm afraid I'll be judged as such. That's just me, I guess. The other thing is that I use the AP label to find other like-minded mamas (whether online or in person), but when I refuse to embrace it for myself (and I refuse to do so quite often) I'm denying other mamas the ability to find me. Is that fair? Probably not. I'm an introvert and I don't really want other people to find me anyway, but that's pretty selfish of me as far as I can tell. I think what I'm getting at is that my reticence to label myself an AP parent is based in my own judgment of certain things that come along with the label and my corresponding fear that I'll be judged. When I am able to let go of that judgment, I'll be better able to embrace the label of AP, as imperfect as it is to describe my parenting style... and then I'll be better able to reap the benefits of that label, such as those mentioned by PPs, namely connecting with and being a part of a really decent, supportive, and diverse community. Easier said than done, but I'm working on it.

VERY thought provoking, Mommel!! 

Originally Posted by MichelleZB View Post

Agreed! I kind of don't like doing stuff that seems like it should have a (TM) after it! Attachment Parenting (TM).

Ha!!  Another thing to consider, for sure. 

post #30 of 51
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubbleMa View Post

 

I see your point.  It's definitely good to have like-minded friends for support.  On the other hand I think it's important not to discount people just because they do things differently.  I have a couple friends that I would never have met if I only hung out with "AP" people.  I don't push my ways on them, and don't push theirs on me.  And sometimes we even learn from each other! 

 

Of course, there are people out there who are very judgey and will hound you and try to get you to see thing their way.  I don't want to be friends with those people.  No matter what their parenting beliefs are.

:nod 

post #31 of 51

I like and dislike the "AP" label, for the same reason...idenfication. I like that if I say "I practice AP", I'm more likely to find moms who aren't freaked out by my still nursing three year old, cosleeping (we don't now, but did for a couple of years), etc. But, I simultaneously dislike the fact that many people will hear "I practice AP" and assume they know everything about how I parent, and what checklist I use. I babywear, but I also use strollers. I don't like the fact that there are people who will use "I practice AP" as a reason to look down on me if I don't practice it their way.

 

I basically use "AP" as a form of shorthand in certain situations. I don't use it as a general label for myself, because I find that counter-productive, in terms of trying to meet like-minded moms. (I tend to call myself a "relaxed, eclectic" homeschooler, instead of an unschooler, for similar reasons - "unschooler" carries all kinds of expectations and assumptions along with it, whereas "relaxed, eclectic" doesn't tend to carry the same baggage. Our approach is pretty much unschooling, but I don't want to listen to other people telling me I'm doing it wrong.)

 

I was also parenting the way I parent long before I ever heard the term "AP", so...yeah...definitely doesn't define me, and I have no interest in checklists.

post #32 of 51
I did meet my best friend through MDC. joy.gif
post #33 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by rightkindofme View Post

I did meet my best friend through MDC. joy.gif

 

That's awesome.

 

I haven't met any of my friends directly through MDC, but MDC did patch me into the local homeschooling community, which is where I've made most of my friends in the last couple of years. Two of them are members of MDC, but I don't think either of them has posted in a long time. The Vancouver Tribe used to be really active, but it kind of fizzled out.

post #34 of 51

Good point, queenjane. Labels do help us find friends of like mind. They do tell us about the values of a group. I liked that about LLL when I was a new mom, I knew where they stood and that I could find compatible moms there. And, AP does that now and I think Holistic Moms does too. More than, as you say, jane, parents of multiples. 

 

Maybe we use labels more when we're first figuring things out for ourselves. I remember that I wore my hippie uniform of jeans (or flowery skirt) with hiking boots for many years, but got more versatile in my clothing as I got more sure of what I stood for. 

 

So, labels serve a purpose, as long as we don't take them too literally or maybe it's that when they seem confining rather than comforting, we are breaking through to new identities. 


Edited by Peggy O'Mara - 8/22/12 at 11:24am
post #35 of 51

I am glad this discussion has been opened.  I feel the same.  My signature line has one of my primary issues.  I believe in the benefit of vaccination, though I space them out, doing one at a time so I will know the source of any reaction my children have, and skip a few.  I believe that we are responsible for the well-being of our community as well as our own children and herd immunity is necessary for children and adults who really can't get vaccines.  It is actually surprising to me that people who often seem so conscious of community responsibility, such as being environmentalists, do not see public health as relevant.  I  also think people who label themselves AP parents are sometimes extremely judgmental of people who do not do things their way- typical scenario: glaring at a women formula feeding her baby.  Although, I have been lucky enough to exclusively breast feed both my daughters, there are reasons women are not able to, even if they desperately want to.  The last thing they need is some self-righteous judgment.  I fit many of the AP "qualifications".  I pick up my children whenever they cry, and wear them in a sling (although my new DD does not seem to like it for as long as DD1- maybe summer heat), and I co- sleep to make the nights easier on both them and me.  I nursed my 6 year old until 2 years 4 month and plan to do the same with my 2 month old, but I initiate a gentle and gradual weening process when I feel we are both ready.  My work schedule has made cloth diapering a bit too difficult.  I also have differed with parents who consider themselves AP on discipline.  Children need boundaries and to hear their parents say no.  It is not cute to let your children run wild around a restaurant or hit you- a soft "please honey, Mommy really wishes you wouldn't do that" doesn't always cut it.  Sometimes a child needs to be firmly told that their actions are unacceptable,  and removed from the situation if they do not correct it, even if the parent would prefer to stay.  My 6 year old is affectionate, independent, and intelligent, but also polite and well-behaved in public places.  She respects her parents and house rules, but is confident in our love and knows she can rely on us for anything she needs.  She is proving herself to be a warm, generous, and confident big sister.  I feel like we have struck a balance with parenting that does not need to fit under a label and the best parents I know seem to do the same.

post #36 of 51

I agree with some of the previous posters that "Attachment Parenting" is an unfortunate name.  I think it is a problem because the name gets conflated with "attachment theory" with bad results.

 

For example, I see two scenarios resulting from that confusion reasonably frequently: 

 

Women who don't practice AP getting defensive/offended because they feel that AP philosophy and AP parents are claiming that only children who are AP'ed are attached to/love their parents.

 

Women who do practice AP melting down, or feeling intensely guilty if they aren't "meeting the AP standards" because they believe that will result in damage to their child's attachment.

 

And I do have a bit of a bone to pick with AP, because I think that AP philosophy has encouraged the idea that the bond between child and parent is a fragile thing, easily harmed or ruptured (unless of course, you subscribe to the AP laundry list).

post #37 of 51

There are so many ideas of what AP is just on this thread. Where do we get these ideas, I wonder? Are they from our own experiences of being judged by others or from our own strivings for perfection with our kids, our own internal pressure?

 

I love something that people in LLL used to say, "Take a mother where she is." A lot of us don't start out AP but learn through example or exposure to others. As humans, we're imitators so we do what we see and if we've never been around breastfeeding, for example, we may need time to get comfortable and will as we see it more.

 

The woman who is formula feeding is often the woman who failed at breastfeeding through no fault of her own and feels so disappointed that she is super sensitive to others' perceived criticism.

 

When I was a new mom, the ideas about motherhood were awful. It was the time of a rather strident feminism that said a mother at home was the family servant. Mothering was named so, in 1976, as a way to celebrate the act of mothering at a time when it was being maligned. My goal too was to celebrate and elevate the act of mothering. An active word like Mothering had never been used before to describe Motherhood.

 

Then we had only LLL as a voice for responsive parenting, for natural parenting, for what is just following your instincts and following your baby. Mothering came on the scene, then API, then Holistic Moms. Now, so many of the ideas that were once considered alternative are mainstream and all new parents now pick and choose from many new/old options like cloth diapers, carriers, co-sleepers. Maybe as the mainstream becomes more AP, some of the labels fall away.

 

Ultimately this all is about our own journey of self discovery and self acceptance. We don't need labels once we internalize new ways. And, we don't need conformity. I've never met a mother whose choices I didn't respect. I might do things differently but we all feel for and care about our children with the same intensity.

 

There are two kinds of people. The ones who think there are two kinds of people and the ones who don't.

post #38 of 51
Thread Starter 

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peggy O'Mara View Post

 

Ultimately this all is about our own journey of self discovery and self acceptance. We don't need labels once we internalize new ways. And, we don't need conformity. I've never met a mother whose choices I didn't respect. I might do things differently but we all feel for and care about our children with the same intensity.

 

love.gif

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peggy O'Mara View Post

 

There are two kinds of people. The ones who think there are two kinds of people and the ones who don't.

clap.gif

post #39 of 51

I'm sorry, but this question:

 

"There are so many ideas of what AP is just on this thread. Where do we get these ideas, I wonder?"

 

seems a little disingenious from the founder of Mothering Magazine!  Surely you know the source of a large number of these ideas, right?

post #40 of 51

Before DD was born, I didn't know that AP was a "thing" other than a style of parenting I had read briefly about when I was pregnant. Long before I ever knew about the "AP club" I had decided to EBF, cloth diaper, not CIO, play with my kids, have limited tv, limited plastic/ noisy toys, limited junk food, use gentle discipline, respect my child as having equally valid emotions, had decided to SAH, to not let DD go overnight while she was still bfing, etc. None of this stuff belonged to any club that I knew of, it was just how I felt things would work best for us- some of it was perfect for me- but not all of it was. Other than the fact that most of my friends used cloth diapers and breastfed, I was unaware that there was any kind of "style" that my particular parenting ideas fell into.

 

When I found out, I was really excited and happy. Then I wasnt- because if you dont follow ALL the rules you dont get to be in the club. I do what works best for me and my family at the time. Sometimes it doesnt work anymore, and I do something different that isnt cool or popular.
 

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
  • I'm eligible for my "Attachment Parenting Membership Card" but I don't relate to the term - anyone else? How do you handle meeting like minded parents when you resent the label?
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › I'm eligible for my "Attachment Parenting Membership Card" but I don't relate to the term - anyone else? How do you handle meeting like minded parents when you resent the label?