'Oh Honey!... You're not due until NOVEMBER??' « Back to Group Discussions

[Sheri R]

Anyone getting these comments lately?

The lady at the children's consignment shop (shouldn't she know better?) said 'Oh, wow, are you having two?'  "You're really only 6 months pregnant??'  "That's gonna be a BIG baby'

Thank you, thank you.

I don't know!  What do you say?  Well my first was only 6 lbs. 10 oz... this is my second.. .who knows?

The pitiful looks are just kind of funny, because I feel pretty good and am enjoying the pregnancy... not really in a hurry to have November here yet.....

[kparker]

I'm measuring HUGE for only 6 months. Yeah, I get "those" looks. :(

[abouttobe5]

What do you say to her or what do you say in your head?  There IS a difference!  While I feel huge, I carry small.  And I get the opposite questions...."Wow, you're too small for 7 months, is everything ok with the baby?  Are you eating enough?  Are you drinking enough?  Have you been sick?"

Ppl love to give their opinions based on what they think a "normal" pregnancy should be.  I just let it roll off my back for the most part but it does get irritating sometimes.  :)

[Simonsez2u]

I think people just can't help themselves.  They are compelled to make comments on pregnant women and the state of our changing bodies.  The belly mesmerizes them and they get diarrhea of the mouth.  It just comes out without thinking.  My 85 year old boss keeps looking at my belly and asking "when are you due?"  I respond November and he gives me the wide eyed "can you make until then you already look like your gonna pop look."  I laugh, because it is BIG and just you wait it is going to get even bigger can you believe it, that is how it's suppose to be!
 

[fayebond]

Originally Posted by Simonsez2u 
The belly mesmerizes them and they get diarrhea of the mouth.  

ROTFL, that so makes my day!  But I would add, they cant control thier hands either and HAVE to touch the belly.  Noooooo!!!

I measure small but I feel like a giant whale that beached and then decided to waddle along the shore.  I have to remind myself to *try* and maintain good posture because I feel like everyone can see I'm huge, I might as well emphasize that I'm pregnant (and therefore can't lose weight yet, ha, finally a good excuse).  

[sere234]

I love the diarrhea of the mouth, Simonsez2u!!!

Dang, where I live I get NOTHING! People rarely even ask me when I'm due, let alone tell me how they think I look. With DS I was told twice that I looked like I was about to pop (and one was from my little sister) before he actually popped out. And I don't think anyone has ever tried to pat my belly. I've still got 3 months to go though, perhaps I'll come back with horror story! 

[TheDivineMrsM]

{{Sigh}} I get this too. Doesn't help that I'm much bigger this time around. I usually just smile at the person and say that I'm grateful the baby is growing well. In my head, I'm mean. Usually along the lines of, "Why yes, I am big... but there's a person in progress in my belly. What's growing out of your ass?"

[tekcez]

A couple of weekends ago a drunk girl I barely know not only rubbed my tummy...she KISSED it!  TWICE! YACK!  It made my skin crawl.  We got dh's parents to babysit so that we could go to a friend's surprise birthday party at an arcade, which I actually thought would be fun because I love pinball.  It ended up being weird though, because there was not much party mingling, just a lot of drunk people playing video games.  I was stressed because it was past my bedtime, and I was afraid ds would wake up to his grandparents instead of us and freak out and not sleep all night.  And then Drunky McHandsy just starts yammering on about how she loves pregnant bellies and had to kiss it.  I was honestly so shocked the first time and then so horrified that it was happening again later, I just didn't know what to do, so I endured it and then bitched about it to dh and who ever else would listen later on.  BLECH!

I have a smallish frame, so my belly looks ridiculously big toward the end.  With ds I was working full time until a month before he was born. I work with kids, and my clients' parents were all giving me the wide-eyed what are you still doing here look long before I left for maternity leave.  

[fayebond]

tekcez, I officially will never complain about belly touching again.  Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[faithsstuff]

I got this just yesterday.  The woman asked why I was out and not home resting before labor started.  How bout a congrats?  Hell, I'd take a 'good luck'. 

[JodiAriel]

I get this all the time.  Granted I am having twins and measuring 41 weeks at only 28 weeks but geez... didn't your mother tell you if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything??

I work in a doctors office so I get asked about my pregnancy literally about 25 times a day.  The worst part is that the majority of our patients are elderly so they don't think twice about touching me or giving advice.  I am so tempted most days to answer the when are you due questions with: "I don't know what you are talking about, I'm just fat, thanks for pointing it out"

[PacificMar]

I'm at 26 weeks today and since about my fifth month, people's belly-oriented comments have fallen into two extremes: either I'm enviably tiny or I compete with marine mammals for vastness. (Right now, I feel like a beached seal; I expect I'll graduate to whale status in the third trimester.) A couple of people have asked if I was having twins. At my last prenatal, my midwife told me the baby and I are on the small side of average, which is consistent with my height and build. And yup, I've received my share of unsolicited belly-touching. My typical culprit is a grandmother with fond memories of motherhood.

Even worse is when someone feels compelled to share how horrible giving birth is--including warnings for my husband that I'm inevitably going to bite his head off and he'd better wear plate armor in preparation. That's why I'm relieved to have supportive friends and family who have had positive experiences with birth; my parents told me my own birth story when I was a child, and they always emphasized how moving and beautiful it was. 

I suppose these folks want to feel included in the wonder of new life in the making, but I wish they were more thoughtful about how they participated. 

[kparker]

UGH THE TOUCHING

I have an aunt-in-law that insists my belly is public grounds. At the announcement of 8 weeks, she got on her knees and started talking to it, and touching it (it being just the pre-existing belly fat). I saw her again closer to 20 weeks, and sure enough even though I asked her not to in a light-hearted, casual way, she insisted on rubbing my belly all over and talking to it.

So a week ago I made a t-shirt with a handprint and a big "NO" symbol (think "No Smoking") over it, and wore it that day to a birthday party for a cousin I knew she'd be attending. I made the shirt JUST FOR HER. She sees me, beelines, and reaches out, saying "Oh to heck with that" or something to that extent. I grabbed her hands, begged "Please don't" about 4-5 times, with my inlaws looking on in horror (thinking surely she'd get the hint beforehand), and with my hands deathgripping hers she pushed in towards my stomach, desperate for a brush with the baby within. My heart was RACING. I'm not a touchy-feely person anyway and stuff like that TOTALLY wigs me out, close relative or not. Only people who have touched me with permission have been my husband, my mom, my father-in-law, and my sister-in-law. And with the exception of the husband, all of the others, only once.

This aunt drives me insane. Supposedly another family member had a sit-down with her over this ordeal since I had no idea what to say anymore that would even resemble politeness, and it's all taken care of now. We'll see if that's true at the baby shower :\

I know she means well but she doesn't THINK. EVER.

[fayebond]

I think the touching is worst when its someone I know but don't feel close to.  Someone who would otherwise never have permission to touch my belly, and then they expect to go bak to normal after doing so.  

The horror stories are just annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[babychak]

Sounds like I've been pretty lucky... people just ask me when I'm due, if it's my first, if we I know what I'm having, etc. I'm not too huge yet (though I feel otherwise!) but I'm sure I'll get the "any day now???" comments eventually.

[katelove]

Not sure if its me getting bigger or just a different group of people but last week at work *no-one* mentioned it and on Friday *everyone* was asking me. Maybe it's a cultural thing but I never get intrusive comments, just genuine interest - how many weeks? When are you due? First baby? Do you know boy/girl? I'm happy to answer all those questions. And, when I'm working in the maternity unit (and ED too I guess) its a nice way of developing a bit of rapport with my patients.

Touching hasnt been an issue for me. No-one has tried.

[QMtwins]

I get asked my due date a lot with incredulous looks...but only one woman, who is due only a few days after me told me how big I am compared to her.  Yes, its twins, so I get it some.  But, I'm with many of you...just a lovely congrats or how wonderful would be appropriate. 

The belly touching is pretty minimal except for one co-worker who has her hands all over my belly a few times a week.  Even other co-workers are concerned about my comfort level because it is such an intense few moments.  My husband rarely touches my belly...though my twin sister loves feeling them move and kick!