If I don't feel any really strong kicks I'm not 18 weeks along.
Uh... That makes no sense, at least not if taken anywhere close to literally. And it hits one of my major pet peeves, which is changing dates based on just about anything except one of the following:
-Maybe a very early (<9 weeks) u/s, especially in the absence of the first two
Now, if you are really fuzzy on your dates-- like REALLY fuzzy because you were BFing or your cycles are super-irregular and you weren't charting, and you have sex every day (or whatever), then sure, maybe you can adjust your dates by a week or so, based on other factors. Especially if it's not legally (etc.) critical that you deliver in a certain place before or after X weeks, or whatever. But otherwise... This drives me up a wall when it's done with later u/s or fundal measurements-- let alone something so subjective and nebulous and variable as a "strong kick."
Just my thing-- I hate it when EDDs are moved because your 30-weeker is measuring like a 32-weeker or something. We all know that LMP dating (and even dating from known ovulation) is not 100% accurate or applicable to all healthy pregnancies. That's why any HCP worth their salt thinks of it as a due range, not a due date.
LMP dating is what all the studies, all the info, and all the basis of comparison to others is based on. It may not be perfect, but it's what we got. It's how we know what chances your kid has for survival at 24 vs. 32 weeks. That kind of thing. It is fine to say your baby is measuring small/big or is developmentally slightly off the SMACK MIDDLE OF THE BELL CURVE. That MAY have implications.
But it does not change the baby's age!
It's like if you have a child, who on her 4th birthday is the height of an average 5-year-old, the weight of a 3.5-year-old, has as many teeth as the average 8-year-old and reads on the level of an average 10-year-old. You don't do a little calculation and move her birthday and say that she's "really" 6.5 years old. She's just a tall, skinny, toothy, brainy 4-YEAR-OLD.
Yeah, this would make me uncomfortable with the midwife. Especially if I get that she has a fairly rigid viewpoint and isn't just using shorthand for this. I am lucky in that I am 99% aligned with my MWs (so far), but I know there is at least one comment that one made where I was like... eh. I disagree. But it was a lot more minor and philosophical than this. A couple of times she has pointed out a correlation between u/s, pitocin, epidurals, vax, etc. and the "rise" in autism, ADD, etc. Well, she is definitely not stating causation (I'd have a REAL problem with that), but I just dislike that whole train of thought, even though I do think all of the above are cause for concern, and I don't plan on using any of them, with the exception of MAYBE one u/s and some vax.
But the comment your MW made would make me more uncomfortable-- I might try to explore it a little more and see how strongly she feels. If she is adamant and would change your EDD based on kick strength, I'd be very uncomfortable, as rigidity bothers me-- but especially rigidity based on personal belief/"observation" that (AFAIK) has little to no basis in reality. Hrm.