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Reading suggestions for c-section

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 

Hi everyone,

 

Does anyone have any reading suggestions for "getting over" having a c-section? Whenever I see something about the high rate of c-sections and how bad they are, and how babies miss out on so many good things by not going through the birth canal, I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt.  I know I tried as hard as I could and we did everything we could, and having my amazing doula in the room was the sure fire way to know that it couldn't have gone any other way.  But I also feel like I failed my baby. Like I could have given him all these additional
protections and benefits and I wasn't able to do so.... do you know if anyone has written about this? 

 

Quick labor summary: 22 hours unmedicated, contractions stopped, head crooked and too large for birth canal. Tried pitocin without any pain meds to get the whole thing going again, pushed for 3 hours, finally no other choice but a c. 

 

Thanks!

 

(cross posted in "Life with a Babe")

post #2 of 3
I've posted a little about something similar I'm my PPD thread. I didn't have a c sec but my first birth was six years ago and very traumatic. After the birth we were separated, i gave up breastfeeding, just tons of stuff that i feel overwhelming guilt over, even six years later. With each subsequent birth where i was able to have a great birth i thought it would be healing, but it only made me feel worse like i failed him. Lately I've been talking to a counselor about it and she has really helped me see that our birth doesn't define our relationship as mother and son, and just because i was unable to give him what my younger sons have had, it doesn't have to affect our bond. She's given me tools to mentally let it go.

One thing that really helps me is attending support groups. I go with my best friend (she's had two rough c sec) to ICAN meetings. It's really nice to be able to talk to other moms who value the process of birth and UNDERSTAND how you feel and don't think you're silly for feeling that way. Some people think that as long as your baby is in your arms, what's to be disappointed about? But it's very refreshing to just talk openly with other moms who feel and understand your feelings.

It's really hard for me teaching childbirth classes and discussing these benefits with prenatal clients, and as a lactation counselor talking about the benefits that i didn't give my first born, but I'm coming to peace with it. My counselor is really helping me get over it. It's really good that you are trying to work through your feelings now, where I'm just starting 6yrs later. You are still an awesome mom despite things that were really out of your control.
post #3 of 3

Check out ICAN. http://www.ican-online.org/recovery/home

 

Try to get to some groups near you or at very least get involved online. It's not an easy thing to get over. I still have trouble with mine and it is rapidly approaching 5 years ago.

 

hug2.gif Hang in there. 

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