Wondering if there are any mamas out there who have experienced a peaceful birth with planned c-section?
I just found out that I am pregnant with my third child (very unplanned, but already loved). I am a strong supporter of natural homebirth and I have two children: both were unmedicated births, one at home. But the second birth was very traumatic. DD, my first child, was born without complications, 12 hours of labour but not unmanageable, we had no midwife so we went to the hospital. She was tightly corded (twice) and the cord had to be cut before she could be delivered, but she pinked up right away and all was fine. Two years later, with DS, I was excited that there was now a midwife in our area who would attend homebirths. We planned a peaceful waterbirth in our bedroom, but I was also fine with going to the hospital if any complications came up. I was considered very low-risk, the pregnancy went smoothly, and there was no indication of any problems. The MW did mention, towards the end of my pregnancy, that the baby seemed to be in a 'funny position', but she was not concerned and neither was I. I trusted birth, my body, and my baby. However, when I was 40 wks along, my blood pressure rose. The consulting doctor wanted me to go to the hospital to be induced, but the MW convinced me there was no need, and induced me instead with homeopathic remedies. The birth turned into three days and four sleepless nights (I was almost insane with sleep deprivation by the end) of torture and agony. I broke down several times but the MW kept telling me it would be even worse if I went to the hospital. DS was asynclitic, posterior, double-corded with the hand wedged near his face (not to mention weighing 10lbs), and b/c of the strange position, the MW insisted on doing constant internal exams, which were absolutely excruciating. (I guess I should mentioned that I was sexually abused as a child. It was like being violated over and over again.) At the end, his heart rate decelerated rapidly and the MW screamed: "We have to get this baby out NOW!" I didn't know what was happening, but DS was stuck with a severe shoulder dystocia. Everything was panic and pain. The MW and her assistants pulled me out of the birth tub and onto the bed, and tried all kinds of different positions, nothing worked, the paramedics were called, I couldn't breathe, the MW told me I didn't have time to take a breath, I gasped anyway, everyone was yelling at me, I just wanted to die so it would be all over. The MW had to reach in while I was pushing and dislodge DS's shoulder, he was born grey, the oxygen tank wouldn't work at first, but he was finally resuscitated just as the paramedics rushed into my bedroom. I know I am so lucky and I have so much compassion for mamas whose little ones did not make it. But I also know that I was only a minute away from losing my DS too. And for me, physically and psychologically, it took a long time to heal from that birth, and I don't think I ever fully will. I tore horribly and I still have pelvic floor problems. I believe I had PTSD as well. I had flashbacks for months afterward and still face those dark moments when it all comes back.
Sorry for the lengthy explanation. I know that most mothering readers are natural birth supporters and are likely opposed to planned c-sections, so I just needed to explain that, even though I totally support natural birth, in my personal situation I just don't believe that it is the way for me and my baby. I am well aware of the risks of c-sections, and I know this is not ideal, but I have thought about it deeply and it is the right way for us.
However, I would still very much like to make this baby's birth as peaceful as possible. Do does anyone have any advice for how to have a loving, peaceful, planned c-section?