uh-oh - our first potty battles

[newmamalizzy]

Help!  My 28 month old's potty "learning" has gone quite smoothly so far, but we're starting to backslide and I want to make sure it doesn't become too complicated.  So, we're at a point where she's diaperless about 95% of the time.  Long car trips, or trips when I know she's really tired, as well as any time when she's sleeping warrant diapers.  That's about it.  She has some accidents, but does pretty well overall, and it's always been very much her decision when to use the potty. 

But we've been having a few big issues all of a sudden.  How do I deal with:

1.  She uses needing to pee/poop to get my attention.  This especially happens in the very early morning as a ploy to get me out of bed before our normal time.  She sits up and says "I feel like I need to poop, Mommy!!!! I can't go in my diaper, I'll get butt boo-boos!!!"'  I get her potty, get her undressed, she sits on it for a few seconds, then says "I don't have to."  And assumes we are up for the day.  She pulls this one at other times of day, too, when she knows she won't get my attention otherwise - like when I'm on the phone, or doing the dishes or whatnot.  I want to honor her requests for help using the potty, but....I KNOW they're ploys. 

2.  She says she needs to pee/poop.  I say, oh, great, let's head to the potty!  She says "No, I don't want to" followed by "I'm peeing!" And stares me in the eyes while peeing on the floor/couch/wherever. 

3.  She says "I'm pooping!" (which means she needs to, not that she is).  I say, let's go to the potty.  She says no, I don't have to.  And doesn't.  But I know she has to so then I get all worked up and worried that she's going to have an accident in whatever public place we're at.  And ask her or "suggest" using the potty way, way too much, so she knows I'm anxious or being pushy.

These are all very new - past week or so - issues, so I haven't really settled on a response.  We've been doing so well, I don't want to ruin anything.  Any suggestions?

[mamapenguin]

I don't have any good suggestions for you, just wanted to say that we're right there with you.  My daughter has also started saying she has to pee to get my attention - especially when I'm cooking dinner or on the phone.  She also tells me she has to poop right after we've finished our entire bedtime routine so that she can stay up longer - anything to avoid going to bed!  For the daytime pee wolf-crying, I just take her pants off and encourage her to go use the potty on her own (which has mixed results - every once in a while she actually does it, but it can backfire and result in meltdown).  I totally understand your frustration.

[tropicana]

my suggestion would be to visibly relax about the whole thing. you are 95 percent there, RELAX and accept that it can take the next 8 months or more to complete the remaining 5 percent. 

keep some spare clothes handy in the car or on you if you "fear" a potty accident while out. 

let her / ask her to clean up the urine that goes on the floor when she pees right in front of you.

do NOT show any urgency or panic when she suggests that she has to go, then "backs off". she may well be playing you just for kicks. they do that. LOL.

really. my son is almost 3. we have been potty learning since about 15 months. he is also 95 percent there. maybe 97-98 percent.

what i do is encourage him to pee before we go on long car rides, or before he naps. put him in a diaper for overnight. let him pee outside at home (easier with a boy, i know). or pee right out of the mini van door if it hits in a decent location.

my daughter, by the way, my first child, i didn't do any potty learning with until she was already 3.5 years old. her potty learning went very quickly, begun and finished in a span of less than a month.

so the whole thing can be very variable. you're doing great! so is she!! i know plenty of 3 year olds, and even some 4 year olds who are no where near 95 percent. 95 percent is EXCELLENT!

[newmamalizzy]

Originally Posted by tropicana 

my suggestion would be to visibly relax about the whole thing. you are 95 percent there, RELAX and accept that it can take the next 8 months or more to complete the remaining 5 percent. 

keep some spare clothes handy in the car or on you if you "fear" a potty accident while out. 

let her / ask her to clean up the urine that goes on the floor when she pees right in front of you.

do NOT show any urgency or panic when she suggests that she has to go, then "backs off". she may well be playing you just for kicks. they do that. LOL.

really. my son is almost 3. we have been potty learning since about 15 months. he is also 95 percent there. maybe 97-98 percent.

what i do is encourage him to pee before we go on long car rides, or before he naps. put him in a diaper for overnight. let him pee outside at home (easier with a boy, i know). or pee right out of the mini van door if it hits in a decent location.

my daughter, by the way, my first child, i didn't do any potty learning with until she was already 3.5 years old. her potty learning went very quickly, begun and finished in a span of less than a month.

so the whole thing can be very variable. you're doing great! so is she!! i know plenty of 3 year olds, and even some 4 year olds who are no where near 95 percent. 95 percent is EXCELLENT!

Relax, yes.  Not my strong point :)  But, yes.  That sounds about right.  Just returned from a disastrous Ikea trip - peed in the carseat on the way there, changed her, refused to pee at the store, then peed in one of the room displays.  We had only brought one change of clothes, so then she just had underpants and we had to go home.  Breathe.  Sigh.  Relax.