Loss in an adopted newborn

[hercinetom]

Anyone have any great links/resources on this? 

Our son was born 7 weeks ago.  It was a c/s birth and I was in there for it.  Other than the dr. pulling him out and the nurse checking him out, I was the first one to really hold him.  I'm breastfeeding him exclusively. 

He just seems different than my girls did.  Extremely needy for human touch 24 hours a day.  He can be hard to console and only usually wants me, although he is warming up to my DH. 

I guess I just feel like there may be something going on his little mind and heart that are outside of the realm of just a higher needs baby. 

[theatermom]

Hi! I'm just starting to research adoption, so my response is not from that perspective, but from my experience with my oldest son. He was a high needs baby, and was just as you described. I've always attributed it partly to some stress during my pregnancy plus a very difficult labor/delivery (29+ hours of labor, 4.5 hours of pushing, delivery by forceps, etc). By contrast, my second pregnancy was calm and uneventful, as was the birth. 

So, I think he may well be transitioning from being in his birth mother's womb, but I'll bet that much of what is recommended for high needs children and/or older adopted children would apply (keeping him close, skin to skin contact if he tolerates it, establishing a comforting routine, and so on). 

GL!! 

[Mom31]

Hugs to you and your new baby.  I would reccomend the book Primal Wound- it may be a hard read at first but it is written by an adoptive mother... I can look for other book recommendations for you also.. but that one comes first to mind and one I am familiar with.

[Mom31]

http://www.reactiveattachmentdisordertreatment.com/ssi/article1.html

I am not big on the label RAD- but this could be a starting point for you.