Name Advice Please! « Back to Group Discussions

[thursday2]

DH and I had a horrible time naming our first - before we even got engaged or knew we would have kids, we had talked (and agreed) that one of the only reasons I wanted kids was to name a son after my dad, who I adore.  When we found out we were having a boy, we decided to name him MyDad DHDad...and DH's dad got offended he was the middle and not the first.  DS remained unnamed until a few days after birth because DH wouldn't budge and insisted on not offending his dad, and now DS has a totally random first name and 2 middles...the granddad's names.  Honestly?  It still rankles.

When we found out we were having a girl this time, DH suggested a name I had casually suggested when I was PG the first time - we never seriously discussed girl's names the first time, and when we discussed them this time, it's one of the few that kept staying on the list.  I think the name is really beautiful, I just worry that she's going to have a horrible time her whole life since it is guaranteed to be misspelled and mispronounced by every person she encounters.  It was so nice to have a name settled on that we both agreed on in advance, however, that I gave in to it months ago. 

It came out today when some friends are over that the universal consensus (which I suspected, but didn't know how severely they all felt) is that the name is truly horrible and borders on child cruelty.  That was also my mother's response when I told her the name, though to her credit she quickly shut up when she realized it was set and has sent baby gifts addressed to her.  I do find that every time someone asks what the name will be - whether a client, a friend, or the bank teller - I hem and haw and feel like I have to defend or explain it...  So now I don't know what to do.  I talked to DH briefly about it tonight (he's still out of town because of his dad's funeral), and his thoughts are "screw them....," but OTOH, I don't want my daughter to suffer her whole life because I was too tired to argue...

So...drumroll, please...is Saoirse really that bad a name?  It's Irish for "freedom" and is pronounced "seer-sha."  It's a popular name in Ireland, but we're only Irish by ethnicity, not nationality; it's not like we're ever moving there.  Her middle name would be Kateri, which is both the name of my confirmation saint and a variant of Kathryn, which is my middle, so even though she could maybe nickname to Kate or Katie, it's not like the middle is a normal name she could fall back on either, and there's no decent nicknames for Saoirse.  I hate feeling tense every time someone asks what the name will be; I also don't want to look at names anymore and don't want to fight with DH, especially since his dad just died.  But I'm due imminently...  Ugh.   Thoughts?

[midstreammama]

We have been going through the same sort of name shock over here.

Mostly, I am with your husband. I say name that babe what you want and screw everyone else. People screw up names that aren't even that hard to screw up. My first daughter's name is not that hard to pronnounce, but they do. Same with our third daughter. You would think people could pronnounce Annika, but no. We get "onika" all the time.

I'm sorry that people are giving you such a hard time. I do not, for the life of me understand why people think it is any business but the parents, what the name is. I like the name Saoirse. Are you and she  going to have to pronnounce it for people, absolutely..but don't ever him and haw over it..if you love it..love it. people will fall into line...they have had their own kidsto name and I bet you never said word one to them about their name choices.

Our boys name slipped the other day and it caused a bit of an uproar for about 48 hours. I faltered for about 20 minutes..and then I told everyone to bite it.We like to keep the name a suprise, and It kind of feels ruined noiw. but I still love the name. And you know what, after I told everyone that I still liked it..everyone said they actually liked it too..

Your kid, you name it whatever you like. People are going to mispronnounce the name even if it was rather easy..so I say use the unique name..very beautiful.

I am so sorry there are so many typos..this is an issue close to my heart these days and its early and I can barely focus on the computer screen yet..lol.  Hope to help! :-)
 

[Lizbiz]

Stick to your guns.  The name is beautiful and very unique.  Who cares if it's hard to spell/pronounce?  People will get the hang of it.  I think if you stick to loving the name and owning that as you share it with others... people will also realize how beautiful it is.  

Names are tricky - everyone's got opinions.  We never share names until the baby is born and the name is official - not up for discussion.  

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

It's a lovely name and whoever said it borders on child abuse is just mean-spirited.  It is true that your daughter will need to pronounce it for people, but I don't really think that's a reason to not give your daughter a name you love.  I'm not sure I would use it because it is a very ethnic name, and I avoid that because both my and DH's families are pretty Americanized, but I would be fine naming my daughter a name that is difficult to pronounce if I loved it.  

We chose to keep the name a secret this time because I don't think it's anyone's business what you name your child except yours, it always leads to hurt feelings and tension and it just doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!

[poppylove]

woah, totally love that name!!! shocked people did not! Love it love it. 

[poppylove]

also, just wanted to add, that as soon as everyone meets that sweet squishy baby, they will love the name eventually too!

[ilovetchotchkes]

I LOVE that name.

Seriously don't let other peoples STUPID opinions sway you- My daughter's name is Zeisel. Everyone ALREADY says "oh LEISEL like from THE SOUND OF MUSIC" and I quite irritated have to respond "No, its Yiddish for Cecilia and it also means "sweet" "
My sister HATED my son's name (Roland)  originally. HATED it, but she told me recently that even though she really intensely disliked it, as he's gotten bigger and gotten a personality, she likes his name and it fits him.

Also, I worked with a woman whose name was Sinead but it was spelled Sibhoan- the original Irish spelling.

[Tizzy]

Oh! I have a friend who was set on Saoirse if she had a girl (she had two boys instead), it's different but I don't think it's terrible.

It doesn't matter what name you pick, everyone will have opinions to offer.

We don't tell anyone our short list of names because we're not interested in everyone's input, we'll openly ask for suggestions but keep a poker face if anyone suggests a name we've already put on our list.

It's difficult enough to find names that both DH and I like and don't have previously established connotations in regards to people we've known with the same name.

And really, once the baby is born and named, hardly anyone would dare offer any negative comments, they tend to keep their opinions to themselves at that point ;)

[thursday2]

Thanks so much, everyone!  I normally don't care much what people think, but that's MY personality and I hate to impose it on her... =)  Reserving the right to change our minds when we see her face, but otherwise I think we're sticking with it!

[Harmony08]

I just wanted to chime in that it does seem like people can have a problem over the simplest most common names as well so whatever. Some people will just find anything wrong with any name.  I agree with everybody and I also try to keep it a secret until they are looking at the baby and he is being announced.  It didn't work out this time because DS1 told everyone and we got some crap about it.