First, I'm begging that people not flame me for managing to get bullied so many times. I have social anxiety problems and fighting for myself is EXTREMELY difficult because I have panic attacks. I am at a point in my life now where I am getting better at being very vocal and I can actually afford a doula this time so I plan to get the extra support. DH is great but also socially awkward and does not do well with confrontation either. He too is becoming more vocal as we get older. I wish we had this strength before. Though to be fair, one should not need to fight to give birth.
c/s 1 was physician failure to wait. I was 16 and really didn't realize that I could tell the doctor no. I was admitted 2/12 at 11pm without actually being dilated. I should have been sent home. They kept me though b/c I was 9 days late . I walked the halls and at midnight I was at 1cm. I was given something to help with the pain (against my will) so I could sleep. Idk what it was, nobody ever told me. In the morning, I walked more. At noon, my water was leaking. Doctor broke my water without warning me. Over the next 4 hours, I progressed 3 more cm. At 4pm, I got an epi I didn't ask for. I was in pain, they offered it, I was unsure. They pitched it like it was perfectly safe, and to avoid argument, I agreed. 3 hours later, OB was telling me that "I failed to progress" and "needed" a c/s. So, to recap: I was in labor less than 24 hours. My membranes were ruptured for less than 7 hours. There was no fetal distress. There was no medical indication for the c/s. The doctor abused the fact that I didn't know any better.
That dr was no longer delivering babies so I (mistakenly) went back to the same practice with ds2. OB lied to my face the entire time and last minute refused a TOL. (He was one of the butchers on the Amber Marlowe case if any of you are familiar. I didn't know that then though.) He told me through the whole pregnancy that I'd be allowed a TOL. At 40 weeks, he demanded that I scheduled a c/s. I didn't think I could switch practices so late so I stuck with him but was hesitant to schedule. He insisted that I'd have a TOL as long as I went into labor at any time before the c/s.
Aug 28th, I went into the hospital (Wilkes-Barre General) at 7:30am to register for the c/s. We hung out in the pre-op room for awhile (surgery was scheduled for the afternoon). I watched a bit of TV and started contracting hard! I was pretty excited!!! OB came in, asked how I was doing, I told him I was contracting. He saw the contrax on the monitor (very close together, regular, and STRONG) and all he said was, "yeah you are!" and then he left. I had no idea where he went. I thought he disappeared to maybe go get some stuff or maybe a nurse (b/c they do all their exams with nurses present). Instead, a nurse came in and started to prep me for the OR. I could barely speak between contrax at this point so I'm not sure if they ever actually heard anything I was saying. I had already signed the consent forms (under false pretenses) so I think he figured he had me.
I switched practices (and hospitals) for #3. Most of the OB's agreed to a TOL but I ended up in the hospital from awful contrax and got an OB that I had seen once before (earlier that morning for contrax that were only slightly changing my cervix). I asked for something for the pain because I hadn't slept in 24+ hours and I needed some rest if I was going to birth this baby. I wanted something minor, to just take the edge off. I tried to ask as many questions as I could and they said the risk to the baby was very small and that it was generally considered safe. I was desperate so I figured it was worth the tiny risk. When I started hallucinating, I asked AGAIN if they were sure what they gave me was safe for the baby. I had no idea that they'd given me an opiate (stadol). I would have never consented if I knew that. I couldn't sleep because I was too busy staring at a pink ice cream house that we were all sitting on and yelling at DH to stop laughing at me. He thought the ice cream house was hilarious because he was half asleep and I guess I was babbling. So, the dr comes in like an hour later and honestly a lot of it's a blur. Baby had moved out of the birth canal and they didn't know why. His heartbeat was great (though it took them a while to find because he moved). There was no reason to believe anything was wrong with him but then dr started talking about a c/s and said it was up to me. I was scared from the drugs, I was loopy, and I was so tired so I ended up consenting before I realized what was going on. Oddly, even trying to recount that experience made me feel a little high- like a flash back I guess. There are only bits and pieces of the memory which is a clear indication that I was not in any state to consent to anything. I do remember being given the option to go home though and dr telling me that the baby looked great so I don't think I needed the section. I was just off in lala land.
This week, I was told that the practice is probably going to drop me because I'm refusing a section. I didn't need any of them in the first place and my pregnancy is going great so why would I consent to a c-section? I'm angry and I'm not having another one.
I'm not opposed to homebirth but hubby would like my first vbac to be in a hospital just because he's nervous. We've had this conversation for 7 years now and he's just scared of me or baby getting hurt. Ultimately, he wouldn't stop me from having a hb but I love him and don't want him to spend the whole time I'm laboring freaking out so the plan was to walk into the hospital in active labor.
Problem is, the OB that told me I'm going to be dropped said, "they're just going to section you anyway". He backpedaled when he saw the look of horror on my face but that's going to stick with me. Ilove geisinger for everything except birth I guess.
Anyway, MTH said that if I can find a physician to attend, they'd allow me a TOL. I'm not sure if I believe it b/c I've read some bad experiences. Anyone know if they really are VBAMC friendly? I'm nervous since they recently changed ownership to Commonwealth Health. It might not be fair to assume all Commonwealth Health facilities are as bad as General but my most traumatic births were there so it's hard not to.
Does anyone know of anyplace that won't automatically try to section me? I'm in the Wilkes-Barre area but I'll travel a bit if I have to. I was entertaining the idea of Pennsy but I read some less than stellar stuff here and I'm not sure now. I mean, it looks gorgeous but has a high c/s rate? I'd love to hear that that the bad experiences were the exception and not the rule though. ;)
I just want to find a place that I'm not going to have to fight tooth and nail. I'm tired of fighting but I'm determined to do this. I KNOW I can do this. I think my first DS gave me enough evidence to know I can do this. I mean, I wasn't progressing super fast but I think if I had been left alone I would have had him within the next 24 hours. 3cm in 4 hours for a first labor? I think that's pretty average.
If I have to travel to find a good hospital, I think I'll probably leave when early labor starts, grab a hotel room near the hospital and just relax with DH until things get really going. The kid will have school so my parents will likely be watching them but they'll be ok with that.
My only concern with travel is prenatal care. Ideally I'd like to be seeing the person who's going to catch the baby instead of continuing prenatal care here and then showing up somewhere else where they have no idea who I am. Traveling for prenatal care will be costly though. I mean I can probably travel to appointments when they're still once a month, maybe even twice a month but when they get to be every week, that's going to kill me in gas money so I'm not looking forward to that.
I'm sorry if my thoughts aren't coherent. Preggo brain is messing with me and it is after 5:30am. lol
TIA for any help and I know my request is a difficult one. OB's in this area are pretty anti-vbac so finding someone to help me vba3c may be impossible but I'm trying to stay positive.
ETA: I'm sleepy and typed vba4c instead of vba3c lol. I clearly need to go to bed!
Edited by DBassett - 8/18/12 at 3:18am