On Thursday, I had a sense that something was not right (some spotting... my symptoms had been hit/miss earlier in the week, and that day I didn't have my usual retching at all. I also had been extremely fatigued and had volatile moods all last week), so I went to the ER that evening. I think they thought I was crazy showing up with just some slight spotting, but I knew something was not right. They did an ultrasound among other things, and found that my baby had no heartbeat.
Yesterday, I had an appt with a doctor affiliated with the midwife practice I was with, and a 2nd ultrasound. I saw my beautiful little baby, no heartbeat, measuring 9 weeks. I was supposed to be 11 weeks, so the baby must have stopped developing some time ago. The umbilical cord also had 2 cysts, though the dr said that was not usually associated with fetal death or problems in the fist trimester.
The Dr advised me to have a D&C, and I opted to do that because other than slight spotting, I was not bleeding or cramping at all. I guess I had a missed miscarriage. I had the D&C early evening last night. Woke up this morning crying, but I know that I will be OK. For whatever reason I was not able to meet my sweet little baby, and I don't understand why, but at least I know it was loved and very much wanted.
I wish all of you uneventful, wonderful pregnancies and hope that you all will be blessed to hold your little ones.








I'm so sorry.



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