DeAnna- I am so sorry your father's issues impacted you so much. My stepfather was always ragging on my looks, and when I look back, I was cute and beautiful! I wasn't fat and ugly like he told me!! My partner asked me last night if I was allowed to have negative feelings about myself when i was a kid. (He was ragging on himslef and I wasn't being very sympathetic) To my surprise, even though I was subjected to ridicule, I was never allowed to criticize my own body out loud as a kid, so I internalized it. Now my internal dialogue can be pretty nasty sometimes. In my vain attempts to look at myself as beautiful, (and I don't mean that makes me vain, please pardon the pun,) I became ashamed and quiet. I should be able to voice ALL my feelings until I can change the bad ones.
I will never, however, do this in front of my daughter. I never want her to pick up on self-negativity, but a safe place to talk is with my partner, who will be a GREAT father btw. We have decided not to criticize ourselves or other people---especially their looks in front of her, because conscoiusly, we don't believe those things are important. On the inside, we still have to work out the issues imposed on us from our familes telling us there was something wrong with our looks. We won't let that happen to her.
At any rate, as this post gets longer and longer, my original point was that I am so sorry for all your hurt DeAnna. Parents, even the ones that mean well, can really do harm in the things they say. Not even meaning to be mean they do, but it sounds like maybe your dad may not have meant well. Regardless, it is so painful, especially because every little firl wants to be daddy's little girl. And apparently your daddy didn't tell you that all little girls are princesses. My daddy did tell me that, and he was right. ALL little girls are princesses, even the ones with mean daddies and mean step-dads
Lauren
I will never, however, do this in front of my daughter. I never want her to pick up on self-negativity, but a safe place to talk is with my partner, who will be a GREAT father btw. We have decided not to criticize ourselves or other people---especially their looks in front of her, because conscoiusly, we don't believe those things are important. On the inside, we still have to work out the issues imposed on us from our familes telling us there was something wrong with our looks. We won't let that happen to her.
At any rate, as this post gets longer and longer, my original point was that I am so sorry for all your hurt DeAnna. Parents, even the ones that mean well, can really do harm in the things they say. Not even meaning to be mean they do, but it sounds like maybe your dad may not have meant well. Regardless, it is so painful, especially because every little firl wants to be daddy's little girl. And apparently your daddy didn't tell you that all little girls are princesses. My daddy did tell me that, and he was right. ALL little girls are princesses, even the ones with mean daddies and mean step-dads
Lauren
