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8/19 Weekly thread - Page 3

post #41 of 50

Check ICAN tampa http://tampa.ican-online.org/ they have a list of providers on their site. Also, check with the lovely ladies at Barefoot Birth http://www.barefootbirth.com/ for more info--One of the mamas is a student MW {and a friend of mine} with TONS of great info and passion for the issue. Also, this is the MW that I hired http://lakelandmidwiferycare.com/, as far as I know she attends VBACs at home. There are more options for HVBAC in this area--from the sounds of it the two OBGYN practices that 'allow' it don't have  very high rate because they tend to risk you out beforehand or pull the 'dead baby card' while you are in labor, 'you're baby is in serious danger and you need cesarean now' ,but if you look on your paperwork you will find it was elective not emergency :(

MY strong recommendation would be to get in touch with ICAN of tampa--they are VERY active here and be willing to homebirth and/or travel a bit for the right experience and providers.

post #42 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by phatchristy View Post

Are you in the Tampa Bay region?  I am too.  If you need information about other possible midwives, etc. I have some contacts, and may be able to help you out.  Here I go through one of the birth centers and do their homebirth option.  Of course, the difference here is that I have to drive to their office for a prenatal.  Though I looked into doing and independent mw a while back and the costs would have been really high in comparison, and I also would have had to travel to labs for blood draws, go to a center for an u/s and other testing, etc.  So it sort of evens out in a way.

 

I'm seriously wondering if the MW you mentioned was one who attended a friend's birth.  She was self-pay and had no insurance and OMG although she managed to avoid having a cesarean (which was a big fear of hers) her birth wound up seriously traumatized because of her midwife and she was in St. Pete I know that.  

 

 

I am in Tarpon ; ) Where are you? There aren't many independent MWs here right now, but as far as I know they charge the same price as the BCs not way more, so, I am not sure who you looking at. Between this pregnancy and DDs 3 years ago I have had experience with almost all of the BCs and LMWs in this area--plus I am pretty involved in the birthing community here. None of them are 'perfect' IMO and many of them have questionable practices and have had their hand in creating a less than ideal birthing experience {both mine and friend's}.

The MW who was arrested here for DUIs was a really great MW--she was very popular here because she was very hands off and allowed for autonomous birth in most situations--so I don't think thaat she was the one you mention. Aside from her personal issues, she didn't have a bad track record with birthing families at all, which is why it is such a loss for the community, she was good at what she did. Of course, I couldn't know by your description, but there was a HBMW out of St. Pete that moved away last year who was a real jerk and although she helped lots of mamas avoid repeat cesareans she was a control freak and often left mamas with a bad taste in their mouths--I had a VERY unpleasant experience with her {non birth related} and can't see how anyone would have wanted her to attend their birth or be in their home--real nasty vibe and energy--she is in Washington State now--Anne Hirsch. 

Who is your MW now? DO you have a doula?

I am having my first appt. with Lakeland Midwifery Care next week--Marianne Powers and Melissa {don't know her last name} is back up, but Charlie Young is the student MW/doula who is a friend of mine and is AMAZING. So, she will really be largely who will be here in support and MW role until the very end. It is 125mile trip for prenatals for us, but it is well worth it, IMO. I am just not comfortable with anyone else in the area anymore.

post #43 of 50

Hi everyone, so much going on per our usual group mojo :)  I am so glad to hear that Lilbsmama and Mamaharrison have found midwives for their birth processes.  Yay!

Nhklh-it sounds like laser tag is great way to work out some stress and hormonal overflow, I'll have to try that!  Are you feeling better still?  How is DP?  We're still having stress due to baby's potential kidney problems and last night I ate some chocolate chips cookies to bury some worry and then LOST IT because I thought I was teaching DD2 to become an emotional eater.  Damn hormones.  I hope things are smoothing out for you all.

Segolily-things seem to be looking up for you, awesome!  It's definitely a long process with many birth partners, and I can't even begin to understand the complexity of emotions wrapped up in your DPs experiences.  But you are handling it so well with a lovely balance of intellect and tears.  That's fab.  Hugs for those moments when you want to inflict bodily harm upon him.  I've been dashing out the door to exercise everytime I want to hurt DH.  I seem to be working out quite a bit these days.lol.gif

Kateadelle, if you're planing on BFing, I would ask your potetential peds their thoughts on the matter and what kind of support they provide.  Of course, most peds talk the talk of supporting BFing and know that it's best, but then don't so much walk the walk.  I just mean the small details like what they do if you should get mastitis or thrush or have latching or weight gain issues.  Not to overwhelm you with everything that could go wrong, but with DD1 I had no problems and with DD2 a myriad of issues and our ped stopped at nothing to make sure we had every possible resource and constant support in order to continue.  

Stengenrae-good on ya for making your needs known!  It's amazing how often our partners don't pick up on what we're going through until we have a sob fest.  It sounds like you need support now, and you gotta put it out there.  I hope you all continue to have good talks!

Thinking of you all and hoping for a lovely (CALM) weekend!

post #44 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by nhklh View Post

Do you happen to know of any who'll attend a HBA2C?

I have a few friends who are doulas/student midwives and fairly active still in the birthing community, I can ask them.  I don't know if it's legal for a licensed mw to attend a hba2c here in FL.  I don't think I've even brought that one up before with any of my friends. Mamaharrison has it right when she said ICAN.  In the long past I've known a few moms who have traveled out of FL to have the births they wanted.  Not necessarily ideal, but in their situation that's what they did.  There was a mom who went to GA for a breech baby and another to the farm in TN for her twins.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaharrison View Post

Who is your MW now? DO you have a doula?

I am having my first appt. with Lakeland Midwifery Care next week--Marianne Powers and Melissa {don't know her last name} is back up, but Charlie Young is the student MW/doula who is a friend of mine and is AMAZING. So, she will really be largely who will be here in support and MW role until the very end. It is 125mile trip for prenatals for us, but it is well worth it, IMO. I am just not comfortable with anyone else in the area anymore.

 

I am here in Tampa, but am with Char Lynn in Dunedin. I actually think I may have seen Marianne for some prenatals somehow...maybe long long ago.  This is #5 here with them.  The big benefit for me is that LOL is an in network provider for our insurance.  And, I've been there/done that with them so many times I pretty much know what to expect and they know what I need.  I have to drive to prenatals, sure, but there have been some advantages with regards to labs/ultrasounds, etc.  And, hey, this is the fifth time here and I'm pretty darn comfy and don't want to switch around at this point.  

 

Though I did some investigation and an out of network LM birth with the FL law (my insurance has no out of network coverage which is why I'd have to use the FL statute for it) it would have been $2,500 higher than going in network.  However, near the end of the investigation I discovered as well that there was a good chance that the insurance wasn't 'insurance' but rather a self funded plan set up by the employer.  Which means in that case, even if we submitted it we may not have any coverage.  This is a loophole issue in the FL law.  

 

Just to let others who might be reading, because FL is a state who licenses direct entry midwives their fees tend to be higher...usually $4,200 to $5,000, sometimes a little more.  The MW I had contacted way back was something like $4,800 which was fairly typical for this area.  

 

My style is generally I like to be as unfooled around with as possible LOL.  I'll put it that way.  With the first baby, I definitely needed more support and encouragement from my midwife...though I think even then I was pretty quick, the mw was at the house for 6 hours or so.  Of the last three one was a little bit longer (I actually tried to slow that one down LOL), one was about 45 minutes and the last one, well....they missed the birth woops I think I was spoiled though, there were only a few painful contractions!  Midwife did make it in time for the placenta and we did the newborn checks and after stuff.

 

I had a doula friend for the first three, she was going to come to the third but he was my accidental UC so she didn't find out about it until after he was out.  Don't know if she's going to be here for this one.  I'm probably fine just doing it on my own.  

 

I think when choosing a midwife you really have to know what you need and how you birth.  Assuming you have that advantage.  As a first time mom/vbac mom sometimes you don't know.   Some midwives are going to be a great fit for some moms and not others.  One of my favorite midwives was Robin Maddox...she's now I think in Orlando.  I just loved her energy and vibe.  She really let birth unfold however it did.  Which works great for me and I'm fairly straightforward in my needs and the way I birth.  But sometimes there are moms who need a little extra help to avoid having to transfer or to avoid that repeat cesarean.  Even the most easy going midwife is going to sometimes step it up if her patient needs it.  I've seen it happen a few times with moms whose labors wound up not progressing that well.  

 

I think that the only thing you can do is set yourself up with a midwife who you trust, have good communication with and really are comfortable with.  Then, you have to make peace with everything, look within yourself, your fears.  Deal with whatever issues you have about the possible ways that your birth can unfold.  I really mean, look at everything and do your best to prepare yourself for each outcome.  Then when you go into labor, you will not be holding yourself back.  Things will unfold the way they are meant to, and then you are open to whatever birth brings you.

 

Even now I know there are going to be things I need to prepare myself for--for example, the fact that the last labor had so little pain, and was pretty darn short.  I don't want to have the same expectations in this birth--things will probably not be the same.  The baby's position, etc. and all sorts of factors play into the actual labor experience.  I'm hopeful that things will be on the shorter side again, but I can't control that I can only encourage it.

post #45 of 50

So sorry that was the longest message ever LOL.

post #46 of 50

There must be something in the air! I, too, have been so emotional and argumentative with my DH. I think part of it must be how tired I am constantly (just plain old lack of sleep here, not an overall energy issue) and what seems to be the mounting amount of housework that I cannot keep up with. I just get so stressed when in a cluttered environment. And add to that a crankier than usual toddler, and I am just short tempered constantly.

 

The other night, I asked my husband to finish the dishes for me while I rocked 2 1/2 year old DS to sleep. He said sure and I just assumed it would be done. Well, about an hour later and DS was just not settling down and kept calling for daddy. So, I called my husband and he said he would take over, and I went to bed. A few minutes later, husband and still awake son join me in the bed and little boy continues to roll around and fight sleep for a long time until finally passing out. I woke up early the next morning to pee and start breakfast to find a still dirty kitchen! Well, I took care of it, made breakfast and continued about my normal day, but by dinner time was exhausted, so after dinner, I just laid down on the couch and was on the verge of falling asleep while DH started baths. He got really worked up and said that he needed my help at bedtime and I LOST IT! When I pointed out that I was exhausted because I had gotten up early to do dishes, all he did was offer excuses (he was trying to be quiet while I rocked DS, and then he had fallen asleep "trying" to get DS to sleep). Needless to say, I really didn't want to hear excuses, I just wanted an apology or a promise to lend a hand more, but he just didn't get it. I don't think his lack of helping out inside the house would bother me as much if I didn't feel like I had to nag him to get outdoor stuff done, too. Seriously, we live in Houston, it is summer, I am not going to mow the lawn while pregnant (or pull weeds, or even go outside unless it is necessary), but I have to nag and nag and nag to get him to do the things that I can not do. So we had a big argument and I still don't feel like the issue is resolved, because his reply is always "just tell me what needs doing", but to that I always want to answer that I am not his mother and he is not a teenager, if he doesn't know at this point that the lawn needs mowing and the trash needs to be taken to the curb once a week, how did he manage to live on his own before we got married?

 

Okay, rant over. I hope all of us have a better week next week.

post #47 of 50

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Edited by nhklh - 10/22/13 at 2:35pm
post #48 of 50

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Edited by nhklh - 10/22/13 at 2:35pm
post #49 of 50

Of course you can!!  xox

post #50 of 50

Ladies, I just had to pop over here and share my recent "splurges" that I got a kick out of.  I received a little bit of money for my birthday and spent it on Floradix, heirloom tomatoes, and a trip to the co-op for groceries that included a hazelnut chocolate bar that I ate entirely. Happy birthday to me! Just a few short years ago, I would have went clothes or shoe shopping with that, but instead, it's very prioritized now. I was like, yes! I can buy liquid iron this week!! 

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