I love my daughter. Isn't it funny how we always start by stating that whenever we're about to say not-so-positive things about our kids? My daughter, Sophia, is very bright, sometimes a little bit too much. She has a vivid imagination, a love for science and music. We love a lot of the same things, so it's easy for me to relate to her on an equal level. She's always been high needs, hated everything but being on my arms. Nursed constantly until almost 3. I had to spend a weekend away from home because I couldn't continue doing it anymore. She's still always touching my breasts and asking for her "super bites". That's one of the many things I'm trying to "work on". She started sleeping through the night at the same time we stopped nursing, she still cries a way lot and gets really mad sometimes. She seems to behave worse around me than anybody else. She's constantly climbing on me, punching me, pulling me, it's a very rough and physical interaction and it really stresses me out. I love being with her, but can't stand the 24/7 hands on mommy. As I type this she's currently climbing all over my back and hurting me. I sometimes snap, I'm only human and will yell "please stop climbing on me" and them I'll get a response of "FINE! DON'T BE MY FRIEND ANYMORE!!" or "you made my heart sad!". They both make me sad. I've tried to always have a very gentle approach to discipline and I want my daughter to respect me, not to fear me, but it seems like I can't get her to listen to any one things.
If we go out, holding hands is a problem while walking. When I pick her up to cross the street she fights the whole time. I was always babywearing her since she wanted to be held all the time, but now she's all about independence. I'm ok with independence, but also safety. It almost makes me don't want to go out with her.
I feel like I haven't made much progress in what comes to creating responsibility. 9 times out of 10 she will not clean up her toys or help with any chores, unless is her idea.
Getting into the bath, brushing her hair, her teeth, clipping her nails sometimes turns into a wrestling match.
She's constantly hitting me. I don't use physical punishment. I've been trying to work on this too, with absolutely no progress.
I can on, the problem right now is that she seems too stubborn for me to modify certain behaviors. I think part of it is my fault, I'm extremely laid back and for most things my method is "you go ahead, try and learn". I also suffer from depression and I'm always lacking energy to manage my full time job and the struggles with my daughter. I'm always tired and I never sleep, so she wins most fights, the thing is I don't want to be fighting at all.
I've tried the explaining the reason behind why we must do these things or not do others. I've tried explaining how certain things make me feel. Some methods that work sometimes is the counting in order to get her to do something, but it will work for 2 minutes. She seems to do well at her preschool. Her teacher says she's one of her best students, never hits anyone, loves doing puzzles, has a couple of friends she likes the most, her teacher says she's too passive and sometimes kids will hit her and she doesn't react to them, but comes and gets her instead. The only problems she's encountered is not sharing and for Sophia to use her words when upset. She sometimes will have really bad tantrums where she just says nooo and wants you with her, but then pushes you away and it goes on for awhile. It doesn't happen to frequently, thank God. I think the last time was over a month ago. Her dad has noticed too how she behaves better when she's with him only.
I feel like I'm doing something wrong and I'm not sure what. Any advice?